(no subject)
There's nothing worse than being lonely. Being all alone. All my friends here are gone. Off to college. And even if they were here. The person who was supposed to be my bestfriend can't even make time for me anymore. I havent talked to her since August. She doesnt answer when I call and doesnt return calls. Probably all because of something stupid someone said. So much for being bestfriends. It was hard though. Being used to having your friends around everyday. And then have them leave. And here you are. All alone.
My days now are spent at work and at home. I go to work. And then come home. And the cycle starts all over again. Its hard to be by yourself. To be lonely. With noone else there. Sure there's people at my work that I could possibly hang out with. But they're all either way older than me. Younger than me. Too busy with their boyfriends and girfriends. Or just arent people that I would hang out with. So here I am. With no life. And all alone. The only thing that keeps me sane is my job. I work and I get paid for it. Without my job I would have lost it by now. But now I have the opportunity to leave here. Leave my job that I love. My family. This life that I have rebuilt somewhat the best I could after I moved. This lonely life I've become used to. I have a chance to go back to my old life. My old friends. My hometown. Where all the people that I love so much are and that I had to leave. The place I said I would never go back to. The life I would never return to. But I would get to be closer to Beej. See him everyday. Be there. In the same town. Where he is just a few minutes away. Not a few hours away. Which is something I havent had in such a long time. The question is. Do I leave my new life. The job I love and will be getting a promotion and a raise at in just a few months. To go be with my friends. And Beej. To start over again. Or do I stay. Continue being lonely. And stay at the job I love. And continue living this sad boring life.
I wish someone had the answers.
My days now are spent at work and at home. I go to work. And then come home. And the cycle starts all over again. Its hard to be by yourself. To be lonely. With noone else there. Sure there's people at my work that I could possibly hang out with. But they're all either way older than me. Younger than me. Too busy with their boyfriends and girfriends. Or just arent people that I would hang out with. So here I am. With no life. And all alone. The only thing that keeps me sane is my job. I work and I get paid for it. Without my job I would have lost it by now. But now I have the opportunity to leave here. Leave my job that I love. My family. This life that I have rebuilt somewhat the best I could after I moved. This lonely life I've become used to. I have a chance to go back to my old life. My old friends. My hometown. Where all the people that I love so much are and that I had to leave. The place I said I would never go back to. The life I would never return to. But I would get to be closer to Beej. See him everyday. Be there. In the same town. Where he is just a few minutes away. Not a few hours away. Which is something I havent had in such a long time. The question is. Do I leave my new life. The job I love and will be getting a promotion and a raise at in just a few months. To go be with my friends. And Beej. To start over again. Or do I stay. Continue being lonely. And stay at the job I love. And continue living this sad boring life.
I wish someone had the answers.