(no subject)
i was just thinking about that dream i had a few weeks ago...i dreamt that i had fallen into a wormhole and been transported to another dimension. somehow i still had reception on my cell. i wasn't worried about anything else but what doug would think when he'd notice that i had vanished [which is ridiculou because he never would, ha]. i was so anxiety-ridden over the thought that my cell would die and i would never be able to reach him. i had to choose my last words to him before all communication was cut. i kept typing, "i love you" and then erasing it, thinking, "no, melissa, this is not the time."
well, we might have had our last battle. i have no regrets sending back his package. if he wants to sabotage his own happiness, who am i to stop him?
i left him 3 consecutive voice mails [because that socially inept infant can't handle the phone]. i unveiled the reason for my packages. i can't believe that he didn't put it together...but i guess his whole self-loathing, fear-of-success, post-traumatic- relationship- syndrome, got in the way. yeah...i told him i loved him.
now that i told him, i can leave him and this failed attempt at whatever it was, behind. OH i am relieved to not have to deal with his mood swings anymore.
i don't even care what he does now. i needed to tell him. do i still love him? very much so. am i stupid? only if i wait around for him to figure out that he's not going to find another girl like me.
listen, just because i love the bloke doesn't mean that i am passion's slave. Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. that's right, take that polonius.
he's a thorn.
yah i have no idea either.
basically, if he's going to dick around, i want no part in it. i know that i am worth too much to be treated as inconsistently as he does. i'm not going to waste my time on some guy that needs me to tell him that i love him to figure it out. of course if he can't see that, he will never see me. he will never know how special i am. i'm not going to waste any more time trying to prove anything. i shouldn't have to.i should just be able to be myself and have that be enough....other guys seem to get that. of course i fell for the d-bag who couldn't--such is the plight of every lady.
bah,
i have some new prospects...i think. i might give that model man that i turned down earlier this year a shot. he actually seems like a REALLY nice guy. nice guys--ladies, hold on to them.
well, we might have had our last battle. i have no regrets sending back his package. if he wants to sabotage his own happiness, who am i to stop him?
i left him 3 consecutive voice mails [because that socially inept infant can't handle the phone]. i unveiled the reason for my packages. i can't believe that he didn't put it together...but i guess his whole self-loathing, fear-of-success, post-traumatic- relationship- syndrome, got in the way. yeah...i told him i loved him.
now that i told him, i can leave him and this failed attempt at whatever it was, behind. OH i am relieved to not have to deal with his mood swings anymore.
i don't even care what he does now. i needed to tell him. do i still love him? very much so. am i stupid? only if i wait around for him to figure out that he's not going to find another girl like me.
listen, just because i love the bloke doesn't mean that i am passion's slave. Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. that's right, take that polonius.
he's a thorn.
yah i have no idea either.
basically, if he's going to dick around, i want no part in it. i know that i am worth too much to be treated as inconsistently as he does. i'm not going to waste my time on some guy that needs me to tell him that i love him to figure it out. of course if he can't see that, he will never see me. he will never know how special i am. i'm not going to waste any more time trying to prove anything. i shouldn't have to.i should just be able to be myself and have that be enough....other guys seem to get that. of course i fell for the d-bag who couldn't--such is the plight of every lady.
bah,
i have some new prospects...i think. i might give that model man that i turned down earlier this year a shot. he actually seems like a REALLY nice guy. nice guys--ladies, hold on to them.