nothing..
all i feel like is nothing.
i feel like she ripped my heart out and took it with her.
she really doesn't want me anymore and i have realised it.
i have realised it and i'm ok.
i'm ok but i'm dying inside...
i'm ok but i'm dead outside as well.
she says i should move on so i guess i will.
i can do that for her i guess.
i always said i would do anything for her...
for those of you that don't know....me and brooke had kinda a final blow out thing.it was like our last talk about being together.i guess she doesn't want it anymore.she wants to try with amanda so ok.i mean i can't do anything about it anyway so why try to fight it.i just want everyone to get along like we used to but i guess we never really did.i'm being told that they were all just putting up with me so they could be around brooke so oh well.i'm happy with the true friends i have anyway.i have been with people everyday it seems.i'm always either with mark or with someone.its nice having such great friends.everyone thinks i'm going to break down or something...i hope i'm making all of you proud.i know i'm making myself proud.i'm not ever going to let a girl or anything like that get me down.i'm doing really good with everything else.i'm kinda seeing this girl ariel....well trying to.she needed a place to stay so i told her she could move in for a bit.i liked her before she moved in but she is not trying to date right now.she keeps telling me that she just has alot on her plate right now and doesn't want to date or anything and i'm good with that.i'm not really wanting to date right now anyway.i'm havin fun and just not being tied down is nice.i took a bike ride the other morning after work...it was nice to just go...to not have to answer to anyone....just go and not come back till i want to.i have been doing alot of things like that.i find my self wanting ariel to go with me but she never wants to.we do click in alot of ways but the ways we don't click drives me nuts.i don't know...we will see how things play out.
"i'm cold...
i'm ugly...
i'm always confused by eveything...
i could stare into a thousand eyes but every smile hides a bold faced lie..."
mark and tara broke up.tara is staying with me right now.she is moving back to new jersey this week.she lost control of her self and the car and flipped it with him in it.it seemed like she was trying to kill him from his side of it but from her side of it she just couldn't handle shit anymore and lashed out and lost control of the car.if he would of been hurt i don't think i would have her living in my house but i feel for her...i mean i just lost it a year ago but it's a life changing thing.she needs to move on and find someone that treats her better.i love mark to death but he is an ass hole.he has never treated her right.i would never be with him becaused i see the way he has treated her and i know him to well.
i want to move.i want to move to cali.i don't care if i'm alone when i do it or not.i'm going to do it....fuck this.i don't want to be here anymore.everything is just fucking great in my life right now and all i want to do is move or run away or something.
i think i will....why not...no one can stop me right?is what i want so why not right...
i'm done.
i feel like she ripped my heart out and took it with her.
she really doesn't want me anymore and i have realised it.
i have realised it and i'm ok.
i'm ok but i'm dying inside...
i'm ok but i'm dead outside as well.
she says i should move on so i guess i will.
i can do that for her i guess.
i always said i would do anything for her...
for those of you that don't know....me and brooke had kinda a final blow out thing.it was like our last talk about being together.i guess she doesn't want it anymore.she wants to try with amanda so ok.i mean i can't do anything about it anyway so why try to fight it.i just want everyone to get along like we used to but i guess we never really did.i'm being told that they were all just putting up with me so they could be around brooke so oh well.i'm happy with the true friends i have anyway.i have been with people everyday it seems.i'm always either with mark or with someone.its nice having such great friends.everyone thinks i'm going to break down or something...i hope i'm making all of you proud.i know i'm making myself proud.i'm not ever going to let a girl or anything like that get me down.i'm doing really good with everything else.i'm kinda seeing this girl ariel....well trying to.she needed a place to stay so i told her she could move in for a bit.i liked her before she moved in but she is not trying to date right now.she keeps telling me that she just has alot on her plate right now and doesn't want to date or anything and i'm good with that.i'm not really wanting to date right now anyway.i'm havin fun and just not being tied down is nice.i took a bike ride the other morning after work...it was nice to just go...to not have to answer to anyone....just go and not come back till i want to.i have been doing alot of things like that.i find my self wanting ariel to go with me but she never wants to.we do click in alot of ways but the ways we don't click drives me nuts.i don't know...we will see how things play out.
"i'm cold...
i'm ugly...
i'm always confused by eveything...
i could stare into a thousand eyes but every smile hides a bold faced lie..."
mark and tara broke up.tara is staying with me right now.she is moving back to new jersey this week.she lost control of her self and the car and flipped it with him in it.it seemed like she was trying to kill him from his side of it but from her side of it she just couldn't handle shit anymore and lashed out and lost control of the car.if he would of been hurt i don't think i would have her living in my house but i feel for her...i mean i just lost it a year ago but it's a life changing thing.she needs to move on and find someone that treats her better.i love mark to death but he is an ass hole.he has never treated her right.i would never be with him becaused i see the way he has treated her and i know him to well.
i want to move.i want to move to cali.i don't care if i'm alone when i do it or not.i'm going to do it....fuck this.i don't want to be here anymore.everything is just fucking great in my life right now and all i want to do is move or run away or something.
i think i will....why not...no one can stop me right?is what i want so why not right...
i'm done.