(no subject)
So much for keeping up on my journal....
This month has been interesting to say the least. I also almost fucked up things with L., we have now witnessed and survived one another being ill in one form or another and now we are learning how one another deals with stress and depression.
L's car broke down this week, I asked him to make a dr appt and that coupled with Christmas coming up, he is loosing his shit. Although he is trying to hide it, he can't. His poker face is weak.
I truly care about him and there is love there, I may not be in love but I do care deeply for him and it hurts me to see him hurt.
So for the time being, I will be here, to comfort him as best as I can until he gets out of his funk. I will do my best not to cry around him even though this time of year is difficult for me also. I need to be strong for him. He will need the support.
I can honestly say I would do anything to make this boy happy.
Christmas is in a couple days, next post I'll write about the phone incident. Ugh.
But I digress. Christmas is a couple days away and I hope L likes what I got him. I suck at this gf thing and suck even more at shopping for people.
I have told L that someday I will marry him .... ok I'll think about it, but if he were to ever ask, I would definitely say yes.
And again, he has yet to witness me off my meds or hit a severe depression. Even a slight med change could fuck everything up if he isn't prepared or willing to stick things out. Shit he may run for the hills. Only time will tell if he is the one. As he always says we shall burn that bridge when we come to it.
In other news I received a Christmas card from Steve this year, I was shocked.
Kyles birthday was last week and I whispered happy birthday up to the sky as I shoved a couple cupcakes in my mouth.
His dad passed away 6 months to the day after my dad passed and that anniversary is coming up a day after Mrs. Hager's.
Holy shit. So much sadness.
This month has been interesting to say the least. I also almost fucked up things with L., we have now witnessed and survived one another being ill in one form or another and now we are learning how one another deals with stress and depression.
L's car broke down this week, I asked him to make a dr appt and that coupled with Christmas coming up, he is loosing his shit. Although he is trying to hide it, he can't. His poker face is weak.
I truly care about him and there is love there, I may not be in love but I do care deeply for him and it hurts me to see him hurt.
So for the time being, I will be here, to comfort him as best as I can until he gets out of his funk. I will do my best not to cry around him even though this time of year is difficult for me also. I need to be strong for him. He will need the support.
I can honestly say I would do anything to make this boy happy.
Christmas is in a couple days, next post I'll write about the phone incident. Ugh.
But I digress. Christmas is a couple days away and I hope L likes what I got him. I suck at this gf thing and suck even more at shopping for people.
I have told L that someday I will marry him .... ok I'll think about it, but if he were to ever ask, I would definitely say yes.
And again, he has yet to witness me off my meds or hit a severe depression. Even a slight med change could fuck everything up if he isn't prepared or willing to stick things out. Shit he may run for the hills. Only time will tell if he is the one. As he always says we shall burn that bridge when we come to it.
In other news I received a Christmas card from Steve this year, I was shocked.
Kyles birthday was last week and I whispered happy birthday up to the sky as I shoved a couple cupcakes in my mouth.
His dad passed away 6 months to the day after my dad passed and that anniversary is coming up a day after Mrs. Hager's.
Holy shit. So much sadness.