long walk on the beach.
just got back from yet another long walk. these walks allow me to think, even more so than i already do. whether thats good or bad, i don't really care. i ponder about pondering and why i drive myself to the edge of insanity. insanity is all it really is. And then i tip over yet another cup when i question my insanity. it's not insanity at all. i know this because my false insanity can be easily cured by something. the question that remains is, What exactly will cure whatever it is that i suffer from? a sense of paranoia is brewed in my mind from all of this. paranoia of what? nothing really. just paranoid. why am i so paranoid about a bright glow from behind a hill that suddenly disappears when i blink my eyes? why am i paranoid of sounds that come from things that i can't see? why am i paranoid of seeing an empty park? everything makes noise at this time. the trees converse now. afraid to do so during the day in case of being discovered by the people as something that lives. all of this from just a stroll around flying solo. an extreme sense of complex simplicity. i'm not afraid of being alone anymore.
adults like to call teenage obstacles like this just things that we ALL go through. maybe so, maybe not. how can anyone say that, not being able to see through the eyes of anyone else. they live on assumptions like these and i'm afraid i will too, when i get to that 'wise' yet ignorant age of being considered an adult. my urge to keep my thoughts from being simple makes me never want to become an adult like those who generalize things. living my life one thought at a time is what i love to do, even though it tears me apart inside. when i get older, my priorities will change and i'll just become another damn person.
i like a girl. i need to put a cap on it or else the molotov breaks. it really hurts.
adults like to call teenage obstacles like this just things that we ALL go through. maybe so, maybe not. how can anyone say that, not being able to see through the eyes of anyone else. they live on assumptions like these and i'm afraid i will too, when i get to that 'wise' yet ignorant age of being considered an adult. my urge to keep my thoughts from being simple makes me never want to become an adult like those who generalize things. living my life one thought at a time is what i love to do, even though it tears me apart inside. when i get older, my priorities will change and i'll just become another damn person.
i like a girl. i need to put a cap on it or else the molotov breaks. it really hurts.