I hate this feeling!
I hate it when guys try to hard and then I feel bad for turning them down. Even if I don't like a guy i don't want to be a bitch. I just want it to be clear that I want nothing more with them than a friendship. Unfortunately, it's hard for some guys to realize that. I have two people on my mind and I shouldn't have either of them on my mind. One, I need to just move on from and the other is the person that I really wanna move on to. I don't have feelings for him right now, but the "what if's and could be" is going through my mind. Unfortunately, I don't think it could happen right now. Maybe in the future. I couldn't mess it up if it happened though. I've watched this person grow into an amazing adult. He's smart, incredible at what he does and is a very respectable guy! It took me years to see this though. I feel like I'm still immature to be with this person. I don't think I've grown up enough yet to be with him. He has gone through things in life that I have yet to experience. I kinda wish that I have, but I have a little bit to go before I can do the things that he has done like move out, start a career. Anyways, I also realized that I DO want a relationship right now. I'm just lazy and don't want to put in the time and the effort of getting to know someone. If things happened again with the one on my mind I would be willing to put in the time and effort because I already know what I would be getting myself into. Well, I'm off to watch a little t.v. and go to bed. Have a good night! :)