ALL FOR YOU
Hey everyone- I know I’m horrible at updating. But the past 3 days I haven’t left the house, so trust me nothing is knew in my life besides oh yeah SICKNESS! Lol a general term for my messed up body. But on Friday, lets see a full day of school! Woo hoo! And then I think I stayed home? Yeah my short term memory is horrible cuz of these drugs too! And Saturday? Umm home? Oh and people came over that nyt..that was fun. Just a good group of my friends who enjoyed each others company and NO DRAMA!! Yippee!! Well almost lol. And Sunday helped with Grandma Leid and Beth with the little ones. Made a cool mosaic picture that reminds me that I need to tell people that Jesus loves them =) I learned a lot from those kids lol still have to put that prized picture on the fridge. And Sunday we had meetings for Kentucky and Mexico. Both of which I’m not sure I am going on, but after those meetings man I will do whatever it takes for me to go. Especially Mexico!! My mom might have to go..which would be cool just entirely weird, I don’t exactly seeing her ministering like as a sponsor to my friends. But ya never know, it could be awesome, so we will see. Then that nyt I worked frantically on my support raising letters for Mexico. Which was fun, and I hope with all those people praying that God will just open up doors! Not just for me, but for everyone going on the trip and the kiddies that we’ll become friends with…ohh man its gonna be fun to try to communicate with them all week. Lol although I know God will blow us away as well as that language barrier.
What else is new? Umm Prom is coming up in a few days..ohh man my stomach just did that turn insideout thing. Ickk this is horrible, I wasn’t even nervous before now I cant stop my stomach from feeling sick..well I’m sure part of it is my digestion problem lol but the other part…ooo man I’m so nervous. Its not the getting dressed up, being on a date, dancing, having people look at you thing AT ALL…nope I’m okay with all of that. Its just usually you go to dances with friends, people that you’re closest to. Except this time…yeah its gonna be a little different/awkward. And I know that the more I think and worry about it the harder its going to be. But still, I dunno Luke and I haven’t even been friends longer than 2 months. I know a little bit about him, but not enough to be completely comfortable and have no awkward silences. I know it’ll be a fun nyt, just not really prepared for it is all. But Erin and Justin Lmrx lol no idea how to spell that, are in my group now which totals the count of people I know up to 4 outta 10 haha ahh well..the after party should be a good time! I’m excited, Zublers house is the place to be that nyt!! So you all should come alright? Even if you don’t go to PROM seriously its gonna kick butt.
Oh yeah my parents and I still have to decide well at least by the end of this week whether I have to be homebound or not. Which that means that I don’t go to school anymore and I have a teacher, probably a sub, come to my house for an hour everyday and give me my homework in English and history cuz those are the only academic classes I haven’t dropped lol. It would be nice just so I don’t have to worry about missing school cuz I feel crappy or being there when I feel horrible. But I don’t know if I can handle it..not going back..ugh we’ll see. Hopefully we can continue on as we’re doing now. Where I come in when I can and just talk to my teachers about homework n tests. And maybe they’ll continue to be nice and wave tests n assignments..lol seriously I joke about how great that is..but honestly its been a total God thing! And getting a 4.0 when you’ve missed like 25 days of the quarter! Yeah another blessing!
I don’t know…I think I’m beginning to end result..like why God allowed all this crap to happen. To be honest its been a tough road…theres times where I’ve given up and said screw it. Theres times when I felt like the whole world, including God turned their back on me. Theres been times where I cant stop crying, but don’t know why I started in the first place. But yet, things could be soooo much worse. And I’ve only been going thru this for a few months. Theres people who are sick for their entire lives, who cant move outta bed, or ever see their friends and family. Theres people who are alone when they go thru things like this in their lives. Who don’t have any family or friends to help them get thru it. Theres people who don’t know what its like to feel loved. I’ve been so blessed in my short 17 years. I cant even tell you how overwhelmed I am at times because of my incredible family, awesome church, and great friends. It doesn’t seem fair at times, I feel so selfish for even complaining about things. So I guess that’s something that I’ve become more aware of thru this part of my life. And another thing that blew me away the other nyt was just the overwhelming fact of how HOLY God truly is. And how very unholy we are. This fact when I was reading the book from Chris Tomlin’s book The Way I was Made…really blew me away. “So in Philippians it says ‘God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.’ EVERY PERSON WHO HAS BREATH WILL DECLARE JESUS AS LORD AND KING THE BIBLE SAYS. THAT’S ALL 6.5 BILLION(GIVE OR TAKE A FEW) ON THIS PLANET RIGHT NOW, PLUS EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER LIVED BEFORE AND WILL LIVE AFTER US. So think of Jesus in a new light-as the supreme celebrity, the one who should be-and will be-getting all the admiration, all the attention, all the service, and all the praise.”
That totally blew me away, I mean I’ve heard that verse before but never really thought about EVERY NAME! That’s soo CRAZY! Even more reason to just stand in AWE of God’s fame. He truly is the one who deserves all of our worship.
And catch this..”You cannot bridge the gap from your falleness to God’s holiness. Only Christ can do that for us. Therefore, when we really see the holiness of God-the complete otherness of Him-its right that we tremble. But consider this: The holy, holy One, from whose throne comes flashes of lightning and peals of thunder-this very God draws you and me to Himself. Just to be allowed, much less invited, into His presence is proof of His INCREDIBLE mercy and love. And it gets even better: This same holy God sees all his children dressed only in the spotless white of Christ’s holiness.
Think about that for a while. Think about it all night. Drink on it all day. Build your life on it. And I promise you that the wonder of God’s holiness will get you on your feet, or on your face, in His presence.”
That whole concept really got me thinking and blew me away. I thought I would share it with you. Now, being in God’s presence means more to me. It blows me away that He invites us to draw near. HE is the King of the Universe, and he desires to meet with us!
And I’ve realized that I have not been making my time with God much of an important thing lately, it comes after what I want to do at that moment. When in reality, it should be a constant desire of mine. When I wake up it should be what I long to do, go meet with God. During my day, I need to have the same mindest of Christ. And at nyt, during my last moments of my day, I should be soo grateful that God allows me to come into His presence. Even if I’ve disappointed Him, even when I mess up, he doesn’t hold it against me. He calls me His child and his love has no bounds. No matter what I do, He doesn’t love me any less or any more. That kind of LOVE…It blows me away…
GOD THANK YOU FOR BEING MORE THAN ENOUGH…
YOU ARE STILL MORE AWESOME THAN I KNOW…
“What would your life and mine look like if we set out each day to truly live in wonder of Him??”