It's friggin' God's day...
Taken from Best of Craigslist:
Please Hear My Prayer
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2006-11-09, 2:59PM CST
Dear Jesus,
I want to believe in you and your miraculous powers, I really do. I was raised in a devout Catholic home, and as long as I remember have been hearing about your divine nature and limitless compassion. You turned water into wine, healed lepers, and even raised the dead. I know you have boundless abilities. I also know that your compassion compels you to assist those who suffer, and to hear their agonized prayers.
I have been ceaselessly praying to you for over three years now Jesus, yet still my prayer remains unanswered. Please tell me: Why won’t you run over my co-worker Renee with an 18 ton cement truck? Every day is another eternity of listening to Renee talk about her mildly retarded, morbidly obese child and her husband’s swollen testicles and ass-boils. I am suffering beyond the point of endurance my Lord. Please make manifest your divine Love and Grace by sending a cement truck of mercy to squash Renee flat in all your love and wisdom.
Thank you in advance -
_____________________
HAHAHHA. *tear* Oh man.. <3
More to come.
Please Hear My Prayer
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2006-11-09, 2:59PM CST
Dear Jesus,
I want to believe in you and your miraculous powers, I really do. I was raised in a devout Catholic home, and as long as I remember have been hearing about your divine nature and limitless compassion. You turned water into wine, healed lepers, and even raised the dead. I know you have boundless abilities. I also know that your compassion compels you to assist those who suffer, and to hear their agonized prayers.
I have been ceaselessly praying to you for over three years now Jesus, yet still my prayer remains unanswered. Please tell me: Why won’t you run over my co-worker Renee with an 18 ton cement truck? Every day is another eternity of listening to Renee talk about her mildly retarded, morbidly obese child and her husband’s swollen testicles and ass-boils. I am suffering beyond the point of endurance my Lord. Please make manifest your divine Love and Grace by sending a cement truck of mercy to squash Renee flat in all your love and wisdom.
Thank you in advance -
_____________________
HAHAHHA. *tear* Oh man.. <3
More to come.