Love Was Always Borderline Insanity. [Standalone.]
Title: Love Was Always Borderline Insanity.
Author: lithiumreactant
Pairing: Gerard Way / Mikey Way
Rating: PG-13 [ Sexual references ]
POV: First. Gerard-centric.
Word Count: 1,341.
Summary: The world wasn’t enough though. I wanted you to have the moon and stars and every perfectly written song and every band shirt that you always wanted from my closet and… I just wanted you to have everything.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the bands mentioned in this fictional story, however I am always looking for good rent prices.
Author Note: Comments are love.
Love Was Always Borderline Insanity
& Standalone &
+ Your Marriage Aisle Was My Funeral Bed +
I saw you coming up the driveway. Your head was down and your hair was in your face and those damn glasses were barely on your nose. The rain was weighing down on you and I recognized my shirt as it stuck to your drenched figure.
It didn’t look like it had been a good day for you.
I didn’t move though. I stayed on the windowsill and clutched my drawing pad as you pushed the door open and set your backpack down with a wet thulp. Your mind was somewhere else; you weren’t really Mikey. Mikey was some other where. He was not standing across the living room kicking off his wet shoes and dripping on the linoleum floor.
“Hi Mikes,” I ventured, trying to see if I could make something appear in those hollow eyes.
You only barely perked up. “Hi Gerard.”
“How was your day?”
Just a shrug.
“You’re really wet.”
”No shit.”
I frowned a little, setting the notebook aside and pulling my knees up. You didn’t really look like you wanted to talk, but you didn’t leave either. I nudged my head toward the window and you stood there for a couple seconds more before walking across the carpet and sitting down on the windowsill.
“School?”
“Girls. They’re stupid,” you let out a sigh.
I smiled and pushed some of your wet hair back and placed your glasses back onto your nose properly. “You know, I could’ve just told you that and saved you some time and heart ache.”
“I don’t get it! They give you all these signs that say they like you and then when you ask them out they start up with this whole spiel about how they have no idea how you could possibly get to that conclusion. I mean, she calls me all the time and she’s always flirting with me, but she won’t even go see a movie with me?”
“Girls are stupid, Mikes. Way to complicated.”
Another sigh. “Yeah, but it’s just lonely sometimes.”
“It’s life. You’ve got me.”
“Yeah, I know, it’s just sometimes you want someone else than your brother. Maybe even someone my own age.” You sighed. “Hello, I’m Michael Way and I just realized that life isn’t fair.”
“At least you learned it early on.” I put my legs down and before I really even knew what I was doing my nose was positioned at an awkward angle against yours and my dry mouth was pushed up against your wet one. It was a kiss. A warm kiss for my best friend and brother. “Congratulations, Mikes.”
It was our first kiss, but not our last. Suddenly every time you had a bad day you’d come looking for a kiss. Soon that changed to every time you had a bad day and every time you had a good day, which then evolved to every day. They were at first chaste, and then became greedy when no one was looking. You stopped looking at girls and focused on me. I never minded, it never occurred to me to mind. I think I had really been in love with my brother even before that day when you came home all hollow and drenched.
As we got older our relationship grew with us. We weren’t only brother and best friends, we were lovers, even if we never said it.
The band started up and I guess we just stopped because we were just so busy. Always working. Always performing. You started looking at girls again, and I guess I did too.
But this? Mikey, how did it come to this?
”Gerard!” A laugh spilled from your mouth as you grappled blindly for the glasses that I was holding up in the air.
“What Mikey?” I grinned, watching as you tried to make out the blurry shapes around the room, knowing very well you weren’t as blind as you were acting. You humored me. I appreciated it.
“I can’t see! Give them back!”
“Oh, but they’re always in my way.” I pinched your side and bumped my face forward to steal a kiss.
You let out another small laugh and stumbled back onto the bed with me, returning the kiss. Your tongue delved for more, twisting your glasses out of my hand and pushing them off the bed, deciding that I was right. They were always in the way.
She looks gorgeous. Alicia dressed in white and heading down the aisle to your waiting smile and waiting vow. She was perfect for you.
More perfect than I could ever be for you.
I know I’ll always have a part of you, you’ll always be my brother and I know we’ll always love each other. But the fact is that she has the part that I want. I don’t want to share you; I want you all for myself. It’s selfish, I know… but you always let me have my way. You taught me to be selfish.
My fists were balled up and my knuckles were white. No one noticed, but I know you would’ve if you were looking at me. You always noticed. I guess that’s why it hurt. You weren’t looking at me; you were looking at her. You were only an arms length away, but I had never felt so distant from you.
When the minister asked if there was anyone against this marriage my mind was screaming at me to blurt yes. It was deafening, every part of me wanted to scream out that I loved you.
But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.
I wouldn’t ruin your perfect day for the world. I loved you and thus wanted you to have the world. The world wasn’t enough though. I wanted you to have the moon and stars and every perfectly written song and every band shirt that you always wanted from my closet and…
I just wanted you to have everything. Even more… I wanted to be the one to give it to you.
Mom was crying…
And I wanted to cry too.
The thunder boomed over my head and I could hear the rain pelt against the window. These kind of nights were my favorite.
The door creaked up and I waited patiently for the whisper I knew would come.
“Gerard?”
Right on time.
You crept forward, tiptoeing into my room and making the floorboards cry out from under your bare feet.
“M’awake.”
“I know this is stupid, and I know you think I’m way to old to be afraid of these kind of things but I can’t sleep and the thunder is just really loud and I thought that maybe you’d still be awake and you could-“
“Come on.” I pulled the covers back and moved over to make room for your tiny body. You crawled onto the bed and next to me as I pulled the covers over both of our bodies.
“Thanks…” you whispered.
Another boom of thunder.
You whimpered and pressed yourself close. I smiled and wrapped my arms around you, lifting your chin up and licking your lips, hoping I could steal some of your fear away. I didn’t care if my seventeen-year old brother was still afraid of thunderstorms. All I cared about was that I was still the first person you came to when you were scared.
So this was goodbye. That relationship we had. It was gone. You, my baby brother, have outgrown me. I have stayed inside that childhood first love, while you have moved on.
Everyone gathered for the reception. You were now legally tied to your love, and I was left on the other side of the knot.
So it should be fitting that this ended the same way it started.
I smiled at you and before I really even knew what I was doing my nose was positioned at an awkward angle against yours and my sorrowful mouth was pushed up against your joyous one. It was a kiss. A warm kiss for my best friend, brother and long-lost lover. “Congratulations, Mikes.”
Author: lithiumreactant
Pairing: Gerard Way / Mikey Way
Rating: PG-13 [ Sexual references ]
POV: First. Gerard-centric.
Word Count: 1,341.
Summary: The world wasn’t enough though. I wanted you to have the moon and stars and every perfectly written song and every band shirt that you always wanted from my closet and… I just wanted you to have everything.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the bands mentioned in this fictional story, however I am always looking for good rent prices.
Author Note: Comments are love.
Love Was Always Borderline Insanity
& Standalone &
+ Your Marriage Aisle Was My Funeral Bed +
I saw you coming up the driveway. Your head was down and your hair was in your face and those damn glasses were barely on your nose. The rain was weighing down on you and I recognized my shirt as it stuck to your drenched figure.
It didn’t look like it had been a good day for you.
I didn’t move though. I stayed on the windowsill and clutched my drawing pad as you pushed the door open and set your backpack down with a wet thulp. Your mind was somewhere else; you weren’t really Mikey. Mikey was some other where. He was not standing across the living room kicking off his wet shoes and dripping on the linoleum floor.
“Hi Mikes,” I ventured, trying to see if I could make something appear in those hollow eyes.
You only barely perked up. “Hi Gerard.”
“How was your day?”
Just a shrug.
“You’re really wet.”
”No shit.”
I frowned a little, setting the notebook aside and pulling my knees up. You didn’t really look like you wanted to talk, but you didn’t leave either. I nudged my head toward the window and you stood there for a couple seconds more before walking across the carpet and sitting down on the windowsill.
“School?”
“Girls. They’re stupid,” you let out a sigh.
I smiled and pushed some of your wet hair back and placed your glasses back onto your nose properly. “You know, I could’ve just told you that and saved you some time and heart ache.”
“I don’t get it! They give you all these signs that say they like you and then when you ask them out they start up with this whole spiel about how they have no idea how you could possibly get to that conclusion. I mean, she calls me all the time and she’s always flirting with me, but she won’t even go see a movie with me?”
“Girls are stupid, Mikes. Way to complicated.”
Another sigh. “Yeah, but it’s just lonely sometimes.”
“It’s life. You’ve got me.”
“Yeah, I know, it’s just sometimes you want someone else than your brother. Maybe even someone my own age.” You sighed. “Hello, I’m Michael Way and I just realized that life isn’t fair.”
“At least you learned it early on.” I put my legs down and before I really even knew what I was doing my nose was positioned at an awkward angle against yours and my dry mouth was pushed up against your wet one. It was a kiss. A warm kiss for my best friend and brother. “Congratulations, Mikes.”
It was our first kiss, but not our last. Suddenly every time you had a bad day you’d come looking for a kiss. Soon that changed to every time you had a bad day and every time you had a good day, which then evolved to every day. They were at first chaste, and then became greedy when no one was looking. You stopped looking at girls and focused on me. I never minded, it never occurred to me to mind. I think I had really been in love with my brother even before that day when you came home all hollow and drenched.
As we got older our relationship grew with us. We weren’t only brother and best friends, we were lovers, even if we never said it.
The band started up and I guess we just stopped because we were just so busy. Always working. Always performing. You started looking at girls again, and I guess I did too.
But this? Mikey, how did it come to this?
”Gerard!” A laugh spilled from your mouth as you grappled blindly for the glasses that I was holding up in the air.
“What Mikey?” I grinned, watching as you tried to make out the blurry shapes around the room, knowing very well you weren’t as blind as you were acting. You humored me. I appreciated it.
“I can’t see! Give them back!”
“Oh, but they’re always in my way.” I pinched your side and bumped my face forward to steal a kiss.
You let out another small laugh and stumbled back onto the bed with me, returning the kiss. Your tongue delved for more, twisting your glasses out of my hand and pushing them off the bed, deciding that I was right. They were always in the way.
She looks gorgeous. Alicia dressed in white and heading down the aisle to your waiting smile and waiting vow. She was perfect for you.
More perfect than I could ever be for you.
I know I’ll always have a part of you, you’ll always be my brother and I know we’ll always love each other. But the fact is that she has the part that I want. I don’t want to share you; I want you all for myself. It’s selfish, I know… but you always let me have my way. You taught me to be selfish.
My fists were balled up and my knuckles were white. No one noticed, but I know you would’ve if you were looking at me. You always noticed. I guess that’s why it hurt. You weren’t looking at me; you were looking at her. You were only an arms length away, but I had never felt so distant from you.
When the minister asked if there was anyone against this marriage my mind was screaming at me to blurt yes. It was deafening, every part of me wanted to scream out that I loved you.
But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.
I wouldn’t ruin your perfect day for the world. I loved you and thus wanted you to have the world. The world wasn’t enough though. I wanted you to have the moon and stars and every perfectly written song and every band shirt that you always wanted from my closet and…
I just wanted you to have everything. Even more… I wanted to be the one to give it to you.
Mom was crying…
And I wanted to cry too.
The thunder boomed over my head and I could hear the rain pelt against the window. These kind of nights were my favorite.
The door creaked up and I waited patiently for the whisper I knew would come.
“Gerard?”
Right on time.
You crept forward, tiptoeing into my room and making the floorboards cry out from under your bare feet.
“M’awake.”
“I know this is stupid, and I know you think I’m way to old to be afraid of these kind of things but I can’t sleep and the thunder is just really loud and I thought that maybe you’d still be awake and you could-“
“Come on.” I pulled the covers back and moved over to make room for your tiny body. You crawled onto the bed and next to me as I pulled the covers over both of our bodies.
“Thanks…” you whispered.
Another boom of thunder.
You whimpered and pressed yourself close. I smiled and wrapped my arms around you, lifting your chin up and licking your lips, hoping I could steal some of your fear away. I didn’t care if my seventeen-year old brother was still afraid of thunderstorms. All I cared about was that I was still the first person you came to when you were scared.
So this was goodbye. That relationship we had. It was gone. You, my baby brother, have outgrown me. I have stayed inside that childhood first love, while you have moved on.
Everyone gathered for the reception. You were now legally tied to your love, and I was left on the other side of the knot.
So it should be fitting that this ended the same way it started.
I smiled at you and before I really even knew what I was doing my nose was positioned at an awkward angle against yours and my sorrowful mouth was pushed up against your joyous one. It was a kiss. A warm kiss for my best friend, brother and long-lost lover. “Congratulations, Mikes.”