You take it on faith, you take it to the heart. The waiting is the hardest part.
Today is Thursday.
Normally, this wouldn't be significant at all. Just another day in another week.
Tomorrow is Friday however, and a very specific Friday. From Friday the 19th to Sunday the 21st is review weekend in the Education department. This is the weekend where the people in charge of the Professional Year go through all the applications and determine who gets to learn the secret handshake in to the program.
My application is one of these. It made it in only after much drama, angst, and frustration, but it made it in. I got my e-mail yesterday saying that all aspects of my application had been recieved -- this means my application essay, all my forms, my criminal record check, and all the reference letters I needed to accumulate are all in the hands of the department. This is a very good thing, as unless my application package is there in its entirety, they are not obligated to look at it.
Now all that's left is to play a game of wait and see between now and Sunday.
I shouldn't be this nervous. And yet, for some reason, I'm teetering on this really ragged edge. I'm scared spitless that despite everything I've put in to this over the past four years, that it somehow won't be enough. This leads in to a whole thing about my fear of rejection (OH LORDY IT IS BIG AND UGLY), but I won't assault you with that particular complex of mine right now. What I will do is tell you that this is weighing very heavilly upon my mind. I want this so badly that it hurts to think about it.
I know I ask for this a lot from you guys, but dear flist, I'm going to request it once more since this program is so very, very important to me and my future. If you can find a moment to spare over this weekend for some prayer, positive thoughts, or whatever way you might appeal to the universe at large, it would mean a lot to me if you would do so on my behalf.
Normally, this wouldn't be significant at all. Just another day in another week.
Tomorrow is Friday however, and a very specific Friday. From Friday the 19th to Sunday the 21st is review weekend in the Education department. This is the weekend where the people in charge of the Professional Year go through all the applications and determine who gets to learn the secret handshake in to the program.
My application is one of these. It made it in only after much drama, angst, and frustration, but it made it in. I got my e-mail yesterday saying that all aspects of my application had been recieved -- this means my application essay, all my forms, my criminal record check, and all the reference letters I needed to accumulate are all in the hands of the department. This is a very good thing, as unless my application package is there in its entirety, they are not obligated to look at it.
Now all that's left is to play a game of wait and see between now and Sunday.
I shouldn't be this nervous. And yet, for some reason, I'm teetering on this really ragged edge. I'm scared spitless that despite everything I've put in to this over the past four years, that it somehow won't be enough. This leads in to a whole thing about my fear of rejection (OH LORDY IT IS BIG AND UGLY), but I won't assault you with that particular complex of mine right now. What I will do is tell you that this is weighing very heavilly upon my mind. I want this so badly that it hurts to think about it.
I know I ask for this a lot from you guys, but dear flist, I'm going to request it once more since this program is so very, very important to me and my future. If you can find a moment to spare over this weekend for some prayer, positive thoughts, or whatever way you might appeal to the universe at large, it would mean a lot to me if you would do so on my behalf.