And the rosary beads count the one, two, threes.

[lithiumlaughter]

One of the more amusing parts of working at a bookstore is restocking the romance novels.

One, whenever I'm shelving anything with the word 'renegade' in the title, I start humming the song by Styx. You may or may not be surprised at how frequently this occurs. Two, As soon as you think you've seen absolutely every possible way you can use either

Comments

[green_amberjade]

I want a vampire cowboy - I don't understand why no one has ever thought of this before. It's just too hawt to not have existed before this point. Although, just wait a little and next it will be vampire highlanders!

Regarding Diana Gabaldon - I haven't read her books although my mom has and I believe that she enjoyed them as she does pick up Gabaldon's books when they're on the bargain tables. Since her blow up at fandom, I've lost all interest in checking out any of her books, especially since I found out that she 'loaned' out her characters to another writer. They might be masterpieces but it's unlikely I'll ever find out now and I'm quite okay with that.

On a completely different note, Little Women now makes perfect sense to me - somewhat. I still don't get why Jo didn't get together with Laurie, but that is a rant for another day. No, now I finally understand why Laurie was obsessed with becoming a part of the March family. They're werewolves (or Vampires, depending on which book you pick up). No wonder he was willing to marry any March sister just as long as he could be made immortal!

[lithiumlaughter]

You know, a vampire cowboy of my own might not be a bad thing. I'm already imagining explaining the whole situation to Dave, and it is hilarious.
Percy: So, Dave? There's this guy.
Dave: *cocks shotgun*
Percy: Thats, erm, not going to work on him.
Dave: Percy, explain. Now.
Percy: His name is Jeff Archer, and he's a cowboy vampire, and can I keep him pleasepleaseplease?
Dave: *blinks* Necrophilia. Seriously? Necrophilia?
Percy: When you say it that way, it sounds horrible.
Dave: Right. I'm gonna go sharpen some stakes, borrow some of your mother's silver jewelry, and take out stock in a garlic greenhouse.
Percy: A slight overreaction, don't you think?
Dave: Okay. So no stock in garlic. But I'm cooking pasta with enough garlic in the sauce to kill a horse tonight, and I want him over for dinner.
Percy: BECAUSE THAT'S SO MUCH BETTER.
Dave: Thems the breaks, Percy.

Sweet Murphy. *shakes head*

Alas, but there are already vampire highlanders. A few, actually. Are you looking for recommendations, m'dear? *grins*

Re: Diana Gabaldon.
I've been told that I should read the first book, then drop the series like it's hot. I may just have to do that. One of the fringe benefits of working at a bookstore is that you can take whatever book you like to the back, and keep it there as your breaktime reading material. "Outlander" may be next on my list.

...tell me you haven't read "Little Vampire Women". Because if you've picked up that piece of tripe, I may have to come over and harm you in some way, shape, or form. I love you, I swear. Friends don't let friends read crap.

[green_amberjade]

You will invite me to this dinner or our friendship is over. Gotta love Dave and his overprotectiveness. Knowing my dad, he'd just blow up the vampire cowboy using C4, which he now knows how to use thanks to Burn Notice.

Damn. There goes my quick get rich plan. How about Sherlock, the Vampire Detective? Y/Y?

I wish I worked in a place where I could go read a book in the back. Of course, I would probably abuse this because I would get right to a point where I just couldn't put the book down, but all's well that ends well.

I have not read "Little Vampire Women" nor do I want to as it would probably ruin the new head canon I have in my head which is glorious. I merely saw the cover one day in Chapters. Had one of those moments where the world slowed to a complete stop. Which was then followed by me loudly exclaiming, "IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!" Shall I tell you? I think I shall:

Basically the March family are all Vampires, which boy-next-door Laurie discovers one day to his shock when he's hanging out with Jo. Anyway, he falls madly in love with her and she's all "you're a little young for me" which sends the poor boy down a spiral of DOOM as they look the SAME AGE! Even when he's older, Jo still refuses to be with him, so Laurie seduces Amy and marries her because he's so desperate to be turned before he's much older. It also succeeds in making Jo extremely jealous which is a big bonus. But before Laurie can take advantage of this, Jo meets the Professor, another vampire and they begin their affair. Which leads to Laurie killing both the Professor and Amy, which leads to this really twisted relationship between Jo and Laurie where they dance around each other for years unsure of whether they want to kill each other or not.

MEANWHILE, Beth has this weird thing going on with Laurie's Grandpa who is obsessed with her because she so greatly reminds him of his daughter who died, plus there's the fact that she'll be a child forever. And he allows her to feed off of him and goes ballistic when she's killed. Which leads to some Vampire Hunters getting ruined for life.

Meg is really the only one who has a happy, but bittersweet story as she falls madly, deeply in love with John Brooke, Laurie's tutor. Because Meg's so nice, she doesn't want to be with him because she fears condemning his soul and dooming him to a life he will eventually hate her for. But John Brooke is all badass and tells her that if she can't turn him, then just let him spend the rest of his eternity with her. I haven't decided yet if she does eventually turn him, but either way, he made her the happiest woman for all of her lifetime.

[lithiumlaughter]

You're just going to sit there and laugh the entire night, aren't you? Jeff Archer (or whatever my vampire cowboy's name is) will sit there at the kitchen table awkwardly, trying to graciously refuse the food as Dave insists he have some. He'd probably pull the guilt card at one point -- "My cooking isn't that bad, is it?" -- and in the end, would probably corner the vampire cowboy with a crucifix after dinner and attempt to stake him.
Mum would probably be laughing with you, and would draw the line at staking since dust and ash are a pain to get out of the carpet, dammit.

Sherlock the vampire detective. Hmmm. That's a new one.
(Speaking of, do you remember the show "Sherlock Holmes In The 22nd Century"?)
I know that Neil Gaiman wrote a short Sherlock Holmes story based on 'A Study In Scarlet', though set against a backdrop of Lovecraftian mythos. Not the same thing as a vampire detective though, so you may be on to something there.

Whatever you do, if you DO end up writing this novel, swear to me that you will not allow any publishing company to use a cover that looks anything like the one from "Little Vampire Women". Seriously, Jewels could whip up something better with some stock images and fifteen minutes. Sweet potato pie, that book is ugly, both inside and out.

...you've spent a good deal of time thinking this through, haven't you?
The sad thing is that your version kicks the ass of "Little Vampire Women" all over the place, and I would likely read it. Dark, twisted, and awesome? Check, check, check. You may end up having to write this if only for me.
(I vote John and Meg watch a sunrise together; he stabs himself, she ends up suiciding by sunlight, and it's BEAUTIFUL and crappit, I want this so bad now.)

[green_amberjade]

I will also bring a camera so that after Dave stakes your vampire cowboy boytoy we can watch it in slow motion right after we finish vacuuming up Jeff Archer's ashes. I will also bring tissues for you and let you cry on my shoulder as I am your best friend and this is what best friends do.

I do indeed remember that cartoon, which was most awesome. My love for cartoon detectives like Sherlock Holmes and Batman truly knows no bounds.

I will gladly enlist Jewel's services when I do publish my own version of "Little Vampire Women" (coming soon to an LJ near you). I wonder if we should use the cast from the movie or come up with a new badass cast for our badass vampire family.

Actually, I just saw the cover and I instantly knew exactly how I would have written it. Which was rather surprising since I haven't read the original book in a long, long time. And now, because you have offered me just that little bit of encouragement, you know that I am going to write this for you. And from henceforth, your OTP shall be Meg/John or Jo/Laurie, which ever one you shall prefer.

[lithiumlaughter]

You will probably set the video to some sweeping, dramatic violin music to really draw out the pathos, because you're evil like that. I fully expect you to be supplying the ice tea for this particular cry session.

I watched "Batman Begins" a week ago, and then dowloaded all the episodes of "Batman: The Animated Series" featuring the Scarecrow. Holy. Crap. The version of him from the first two seasons is ridiculous, but the one from the fourth? He can still make shit my pants. Amazing what a quiet, creepy rasp and a redesign of the character can do. I'm pondering downloading the complete series now.

But "Sherlock Holmes In The 22nd Century" was AWESOME, and I thought I was the only person who remembered it. I want to try and find it now, GARGH.

Jewels would actually be flattered at a request to do something like that. I get so pissed off with some books simply because a publishing company let a monkey play with Microsoft Paint (NOT EVEN KIDDING -- some of the covers I've seen are THAT bad). You shouldn't judge a book by its cover, I know, but COME ON. Effort, people. Effort.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! This is pleasing in so, so many ways. You would actually do the idea justice, because you wouldn't be just shoving vampires in the story, but making it a story about vampires, and taking in a beautiful and dark direction that makes my black little heart glee. I think Jo/Laurie would be my OTP, if only because of the whole "you're a little young for me" bit. I am very open to multi-shipping in this universe though. It's too much fun to stick with just one.