(no subject)
I will ask the members of the grand jury to take the following statement as the fact and realize the effect it had on the witness.
Ok so i sit inbetween two people. The first will be known as John Doe Weird Beard (a.k.a. J.D. Weird beard for this grand jury testimony.) So J.D. Weird beard is as his name states. on monday the first red flag that poped up was the fact that he is ohh id say late 40's to mid 50's. He was looking at his dungons and dragons scores. You know like cheacking wich wizard has moved up a rank or whatever the fuck losers do in their basements. Second red flag. Hes always sleeping. Seriously man u litteraly are fucking changing peoples lives and ur asleep. Officer Bill tells me i have to wake him up so he doesnt get in trouble from the A.D.A's but seriously im over it and the next time i have to wake him up or hes doing cross word puzzles during testimony ima look at the "What Would Heychris do" bracelet and puch that 350+ pound nerd in the face. Straight up.
The next person im sitting next to we will call Jane Doe Bangladesh (J.D. Bangladesh for this grand jury testimony.) Shes what i call awsome. She thinks im really smart and she did the funniest thing today. Jane Doe Apple's Mom was like "where are you from?" J.D. Bangledesh goes "Guess. where do you think I'm from Iran or Iraq. J.D. Apple's Mom looks shocked and flustered to which J.D. Bangladesh goes "Just kidding!!!! im from Bangladesh!! did i scare u??" I almost rofled for real i was an inch away from the floor.
ahhh so that made my dad but otherwise its hell.
ohh P.S. Lana and i saw Andrew Lantos walking into court with his mom. He recognized me and said hi and then seemed way embarrased. Good times.
I forgot to add that after we were sworn in J.D. weird beard turns to me and goes "does this mean we are married now?" yeahhhhh i almost killed myself right there and then.
Ok so i sit inbetween two people. The first will be known as John Doe Weird Beard (a.k.a. J.D. Weird beard for this grand jury testimony.) So J.D. Weird beard is as his name states. on monday the first red flag that poped up was the fact that he is ohh id say late 40's to mid 50's. He was looking at his dungons and dragons scores. You know like cheacking wich wizard has moved up a rank or whatever the fuck losers do in their basements. Second red flag. Hes always sleeping. Seriously man u litteraly are fucking changing peoples lives and ur asleep. Officer Bill tells me i have to wake him up so he doesnt get in trouble from the A.D.A's but seriously im over it and the next time i have to wake him up or hes doing cross word puzzles during testimony ima look at the "What Would Heychris do" bracelet and puch that 350+ pound nerd in the face. Straight up.
The next person im sitting next to we will call Jane Doe Bangladesh (J.D. Bangladesh for this grand jury testimony.) Shes what i call awsome. She thinks im really smart and she did the funniest thing today. Jane Doe Apple's Mom was like "where are you from?" J.D. Bangledesh goes "Guess. where do you think I'm from Iran or Iraq. J.D. Apple's Mom looks shocked and flustered to which J.D. Bangladesh goes "Just kidding!!!! im from Bangladesh!! did i scare u??" I almost rofled for real i was an inch away from the floor.
ahhh so that made my dad but otherwise its hell.
ohh P.S. Lana and i saw Andrew Lantos walking into court with his mom. He recognized me and said hi and then seemed way embarrased. Good times.
I forgot to add that after we were sworn in J.D. weird beard turns to me and goes "does this mean we are married now?" yeahhhhh i almost killed myself right there and then.