Caution, genius at work.
People around here don't give credit where credit is due. If I decide to break it off in your ass either anonymously, or with a screen name attached to it, in my humble opinion, you probably deserve it. IF you don't want to be subject to a not so nice letter, I'll give you the quick list of things that trigger such outbursts. They're actually pretty simple, and you can make a little song, or write them on a sticky note if you forget things easily.
1) Reduce any of my friends to a one night stand: This has happened to both male and female friends of mine. In both cases, they were trying to down play the fact that they were screwed. In both cases, I made the offending parties aware of their transgressions, and the fact the such treatment isn't acceptable. Never did I ask for an apology, or even for them to change, I simply asked them to discontinue their treatment of said party, namely the close personal friend(s) of mine.
2) You air your dirty laundry on live journal, expect some chapped ass cheeks: Thats the way things go folks. Sorry about your luck. If people don't agree with me, that's fine, their replies get posted, and aren't editted or screened by me. IF I think you're a tool, you or your friend's replies will probably do a much better job furthering that point than I ever could.
3) There is a serious lack of ass kicking in this world: I hate to sound base, but it's true. No one stands up for themselves anymore. If I choose to stand up for you, and you don't like it, tough noogies. It had nothing to do with you, everyone knows it, and it reflects on me, and me only. Simple.
4) Don't Lie: It's really pretty simple. Don't treat me like an idiot, and I won't make you look like one.
5) Quit writing about me in your live journal!: Right. I sincerely doubt you're cool enough to make it into my live journal. If you are, you should be thankful that such a distinguished privilege has been bestowed upon you, and you are officially free to shower me with money, blow jobs, and lemon tea cookies. Personally, I like lemon tea cookies.
6) You used my first name in your live journal! People are going to figure out who I am, and bad things are going to happen!: Right. First of all, anyone's name that's been in here is so generic that there are only about 50 million other people with your first name. Sorry to spoil you, but there are 50 million Alex's who know 50 million Mike's who know 50 million John's. Sorry, it's a big world, and no one knows who you are. Such is life.
7) You commented on my live journal. Who the hell are you? I don't know you. Are you going to stalk me, send 50 pizzas to my house when I didn't order them, or leave a thoroughbred's head in my bed (Hey I rhymed!)?: Short answer is no. I don't stalk people. If there's pizza to be purchased, I'm eating it, and I don't like hurting horsies.
Short answer on the who am I?
My name is Alex.
I'm 23.
I'm an IT engineer.
I drive a white sports car.
Your mom still has my wallet. I want it back. Now.
What? You're dating someone? I probably beat you to it. (It's true, ask Gwen or Jenny.)
I work too much.
I smoke.
My mom told me I look kind of like Eric Clapton, only 30 years younger.
Antagonzing people isn't bad, it's my job.
I don't shut up. Ever.
My humor, sarcasm, and opinion brake for no one.
Don't call me, I'll call you.
It's not you baby, it's me.
You read my live journal? You want to hang out? Make an appointment. How's the tuesday after never sound?
I use a lot of analogies. Usually involving cars. If you cannot understand it, deal with it, or you can
learn how many valves per cylinder a 1994 Mazda Rx-7 has. I'll give you a hint. It's a rotary.
I have a Nokia 6120 cell phone. Yay for me.
I use a Dell computer, about 2 years old.
I wear a Seiko watch.
I use a fender tube amp, because frankly, I think it sounds better.
Britney Spears is ugly without makeup. If she looked like she did in the "Toxic" video, I'd still do her, and so would you, so you can quit pretending you don't buy into the establishment. It's passe.
Anyway, that's all you get for now kids.
1) Reduce any of my friends to a one night stand: This has happened to both male and female friends of mine. In both cases, they were trying to down play the fact that they were screwed. In both cases, I made the offending parties aware of their transgressions, and the fact the such treatment isn't acceptable. Never did I ask for an apology, or even for them to change, I simply asked them to discontinue their treatment of said party, namely the close personal friend(s) of mine.
2) You air your dirty laundry on live journal, expect some chapped ass cheeks: Thats the way things go folks. Sorry about your luck. If people don't agree with me, that's fine, their replies get posted, and aren't editted or screened by me. IF I think you're a tool, you or your friend's replies will probably do a much better job furthering that point than I ever could.
3) There is a serious lack of ass kicking in this world: I hate to sound base, but it's true. No one stands up for themselves anymore. If I choose to stand up for you, and you don't like it, tough noogies. It had nothing to do with you, everyone knows it, and it reflects on me, and me only. Simple.
4) Don't Lie: It's really pretty simple. Don't treat me like an idiot, and I won't make you look like one.
5) Quit writing about me in your live journal!: Right. I sincerely doubt you're cool enough to make it into my live journal. If you are, you should be thankful that such a distinguished privilege has been bestowed upon you, and you are officially free to shower me with money, blow jobs, and lemon tea cookies. Personally, I like lemon tea cookies.
6) You used my first name in your live journal! People are going to figure out who I am, and bad things are going to happen!: Right. First of all, anyone's name that's been in here is so generic that there are only about 50 million other people with your first name. Sorry to spoil you, but there are 50 million Alex's who know 50 million Mike's who know 50 million John's. Sorry, it's a big world, and no one knows who you are. Such is life.
7) You commented on my live journal. Who the hell are you? I don't know you. Are you going to stalk me, send 50 pizzas to my house when I didn't order them, or leave a thoroughbred's head in my bed (Hey I rhymed!)?: Short answer is no. I don't stalk people. If there's pizza to be purchased, I'm eating it, and I don't like hurting horsies.
Short answer on the who am I?
My name is Alex.
I'm 23.
I'm an IT engineer.
I drive a white sports car.
Your mom still has my wallet. I want it back. Now.
What? You're dating someone? I probably beat you to it. (It's true, ask Gwen or Jenny.)
I work too much.
I smoke.
My mom told me I look kind of like Eric Clapton, only 30 years younger.
Antagonzing people isn't bad, it's my job.
I don't shut up. Ever.
My humor, sarcasm, and opinion brake for no one.
Don't call me, I'll call you.
It's not you baby, it's me.
You read my live journal? You want to hang out? Make an appointment. How's the tuesday after never sound?
I use a lot of analogies. Usually involving cars. If you cannot understand it, deal with it, or you can
learn how many valves per cylinder a 1994 Mazda Rx-7 has. I'll give you a hint. It's a rotary.
I have a Nokia 6120 cell phone. Yay for me.
I use a Dell computer, about 2 years old.
I wear a Seiko watch.
I use a fender tube amp, because frankly, I think it sounds better.
Britney Spears is ugly without makeup. If she looked like she did in the "Toxic" video, I'd still do her, and so would you, so you can quit pretending you don't buy into the establishment. It's passe.
Anyway, that's all you get for now kids.