this is form a couiple months ago
ell i cant pass up this chance to post again!
ive had a pretty good week. It was fun while it lasted.
I guess i can recap the events fromt he last couple days for you all, i really had a good time. on sunday i met my roomates friend Erin. she is a very beautiful girl and extremely intelligent. i had no idea what to say to her. i was tounge tied. well we went to get breakfast afterwards.
then fast forward to Wendsday
went out to the club and low and behold there was Erin!! i even got the nerve to ask her out!! she said yes!!
Fast forward to thursday
picked up Erin around 7 ish. we went to a resurant and we split a Nacho. the waitress asked us if we wanted a full plate or a half plate. we ordered a full plate. little did we know that it was fucking huge!! i wasnt that hungry but man she was! well we got a to go box and ended up forgetting it there. then we went and saw lord of the rings for the third time! i watched her eat her pop corn and i got bold and reached over and held her hand. was i to bold? i dont know. well after the movie we went out to lake Arrow Head and watched the stars until we froze our asses off. then we sat in my truck and talked for about an hour or so. then i drove her home. when she was exiting the truck i stopped her and gave her a kiss goodnight. was it appropriate? got me. And i didnt smoke one single cigerette the whole time!! very impressive!!
well i didnt call er on friday cause i was told i should wait at least a day so i dont seem over bearing.
well i waited in total dread!!
well now i know she doent want to date me and that she did not have as good of a time as she told me she did. and that makes her a liar. so there fore she is now recieving the treatment i give all liars. complete and total disregard. she will no longer recive and words from me. i dont think ill ever talk to her again..and thats that!
so i hope everyone hear is having a better new years than i am!!
life is grand!!
WEEEE
well, i am sorry to everyone who reads my Journal. ive tried to update but it just wouldnt let me.
Alot of things have happened to me since my last post. the biggest thing was my girl friend that i can say that i started to love broke up with me. thats pretty much got me down these holidays. i really thought we had a future together, how ever she feels that i have no ambition or motivation to do anything with my life and i am not stable enough for her. in a way i am sorta depressed about it, but then again, if she bails on me at the first sign of trouble , what would she have done if we got married and hit a rough spot? according to my sister, if it was meant to be then it will happen. but according to my experience it will never happen simply because i know there is somethings about me that people just cant tolerate of get used to. the fact of the matter is i do not have a job as of yet. but i felt that i could take my time and find a job that makes me happy or get into college. but she didnt think that it was right for me t do that. now she is gone and i am left with a big hole in my heart. she said that i never told her what was on my mind. i never said anything to tell her or show her how much she means to me. i admit i was wrong. but i also admit that i do not like to let people into my world. it seems that just when i feel ready to open up completly they have had enough and bail useing the old "we will be better off as friends". well you know i dont agree with that in the slightest. granted i know i am rough on th edges but if you would just have looked deeper into my soul you would have seen the real me. my defenses from being hurt so many times before had started to crack. but now those defenses have been healed and even added to. i try to comfort my self by telling myself that its ok. that everything will be alright. but thats nothing but a lie. i am now torn and incomplete. She made me feel truly wonderful for the first time in a long time. now that feeling has been replaced by sorrow. i dont know where i am going, or how i am going to get there. i just want someone that is willing to stick it out to the end. i can promise that what others see of me is not what is actually there. so i hold out my hand to you. inviting you to join me on this forboding road of life walk hand in hand with me until we reach the end of that road. remember that phrase, "for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, from this day forward, til death do us part" i am willing to make that vow. Are you?
ive had a pretty good week. It was fun while it lasted.
I guess i can recap the events fromt he last couple days for you all, i really had a good time. on sunday i met my roomates friend Erin. she is a very beautiful girl and extremely intelligent. i had no idea what to say to her. i was tounge tied. well we went to get breakfast afterwards.
then fast forward to Wendsday
went out to the club and low and behold there was Erin!! i even got the nerve to ask her out!! she said yes!!
Fast forward to thursday
picked up Erin around 7 ish. we went to a resurant and we split a Nacho. the waitress asked us if we wanted a full plate or a half plate. we ordered a full plate. little did we know that it was fucking huge!! i wasnt that hungry but man she was! well we got a to go box and ended up forgetting it there. then we went and saw lord of the rings for the third time! i watched her eat her pop corn and i got bold and reached over and held her hand. was i to bold? i dont know. well after the movie we went out to lake Arrow Head and watched the stars until we froze our asses off. then we sat in my truck and talked for about an hour or so. then i drove her home. when she was exiting the truck i stopped her and gave her a kiss goodnight. was it appropriate? got me. And i didnt smoke one single cigerette the whole time!! very impressive!!
well i didnt call er on friday cause i was told i should wait at least a day so i dont seem over bearing.
well i waited in total dread!!
well now i know she doent want to date me and that she did not have as good of a time as she told me she did. and that makes her a liar. so there fore she is now recieving the treatment i give all liars. complete and total disregard. she will no longer recive and words from me. i dont think ill ever talk to her again..and thats that!
so i hope everyone hear is having a better new years than i am!!
life is grand!!
WEEEE
well, i am sorry to everyone who reads my Journal. ive tried to update but it just wouldnt let me.
Alot of things have happened to me since my last post. the biggest thing was my girl friend that i can say that i started to love broke up with me. thats pretty much got me down these holidays. i really thought we had a future together, how ever she feels that i have no ambition or motivation to do anything with my life and i am not stable enough for her. in a way i am sorta depressed about it, but then again, if she bails on me at the first sign of trouble , what would she have done if we got married and hit a rough spot? according to my sister, if it was meant to be then it will happen. but according to my experience it will never happen simply because i know there is somethings about me that people just cant tolerate of get used to. the fact of the matter is i do not have a job as of yet. but i felt that i could take my time and find a job that makes me happy or get into college. but she didnt think that it was right for me t do that. now she is gone and i am left with a big hole in my heart. she said that i never told her what was on my mind. i never said anything to tell her or show her how much she means to me. i admit i was wrong. but i also admit that i do not like to let people into my world. it seems that just when i feel ready to open up completly they have had enough and bail useing the old "we will be better off as friends". well you know i dont agree with that in the slightest. granted i know i am rough on th edges but if you would just have looked deeper into my soul you would have seen the real me. my defenses from being hurt so many times before had started to crack. but now those defenses have been healed and even added to. i try to comfort my self by telling myself that its ok. that everything will be alright. but thats nothing but a lie. i am now torn and incomplete. She made me feel truly wonderful for the first time in a long time. now that feeling has been replaced by sorrow. i dont know where i am going, or how i am going to get there. i just want someone that is willing to stick it out to the end. i can promise that what others see of me is not what is actually there. so i hold out my hand to you. inviting you to join me on this forboding road of life walk hand in hand with me until we reach the end of that road. remember that phrase, "for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, from this day forward, til death do us part" i am willing to make that vow. Are you?