Don't Save Me Ch.15
Summary: Ashfire tries to find a reason to stay among the Autobots and a choice is made
Rating: T
: comlink :
-thoughts-
nbsp; The songs used were:
nbsp; When You're Evil by Voltaire
nbsp; Your Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
nbsp; Breath by Breaking Benjamin
Systems purred as silver, white, and black lay in a tangled heap. The two bots lounged in the afterglow, enjoying the renewal of their bond. Prowl and Jazz had become accustomed to being close again after so much time apart. It was hard to imagine how they survived eons without the other.
"Ah'm sorry, Prowler, really am." Jazz mumbled his accent thick as he pressed close to the frame under him.
"I know. I've already forgiven you."
"Ya know it's hard to stay mad at ya when you're so sexy all the time."
Prowl snorted at Jazz's weak attempt at humor. They had always had a physical relationship. It was always amusing how much time and energy they spent interfacing. A frown fell upon Prowl's features when he remembered he would have to ruin this sweet moment with his bondmate. "Jazz, I have to tell you something."
"Hmmm?" Jazz hummed halfway lulled into recharge.
"I need you to watch over Mer-, Ashfire for me." That woke the saboteur up.
"What?"
Prowl shifted uncomfortably under the silver form. "Next week Optimus and I are meeting with government officials in Washington and Sam will be returning to his parents on a break from school…"
"You need me to watch over your little one while you're gone." Jazz finished. He wasn't pleased. They had just some amazing make up sex and Prowl just couldn't wait to drop the bomb on him. Oh well, he wouldn't fuss Jazz decided. He knew he would say yes. Anything for Prowl, even if it meant swallowing his disdain for the white femme. However, there was one thing he had to know.
"Prowl?"
"Hmm?"
"Ashfire isn't her real name, is it?" Jazz asked, more of a statement than a question. He knew it wasn't it couldn't be, not after Prowl's slip up.
"It isn't." Prowl confirmed. "Jazz I can't…"
"I know, lover its a Black Ops thing." Jazz purred, comforting the black and white mech. "You have to earn the right to know. I'll wait. Now let's get some recharge. Primus knows we're going to need it."
The femme huffed as she sat in Jazz's office doing more of her rubix cubes. Prowl left for a delegation in Washington a week ago and now she was stuck with the midget. The midget was in here doing his work plus Prowl's while the tactician was away.
She promised her creator to get along with him, but this was torture. She didn't even have Bumblebee to distract her. He was too busy being with that human, Sam. She decided she hated him. The human that was, he was too whiny. It made her wonder why the Autobots were so protective of him. There had to be something she hadn't seen yet, because it was confusing.
A sigh left her intakes. Later tonight she'd have to sneak out. She didn't want to admit it but the place Bumblebee took her last week was...nice. She had already been there three times since the first visit. Once with the yellow scout and twice late at night.
Speaking of which, where was the lil' Bee? It wasn't like she missed him. If he wanted to run around with his human that was his business.
With three clicks the rubix cube was finished. She added it to her collection as she counted them all. 25,253. Wow, she really needed a hobby. She reached for a new cube and found the box she kept all the undone ones in empty. Shit. What was she going to do now?
Glancing at the midget, she decided it wasn't worth her time to stay here. She stood, stretching the kinks out of her frame.
"Where are you goin?" Jazz intoned, cutting his optics to the white femme.
"Gonna see Hatchet." She replied. If there was one thing she liked about the silver mech it was that he let her wander the base by herself.
"Don't start anythin' you can't finish" Jazz warned. He knew he probably shouldn't let the femme go on her own, but it was stressful to always be with her, stressful for the femme and him. He found that he had actually improved their relationship by granting her that small amount of freedom. The only problem was that there were several Autobots that didn't like it. Mainly the Arcees and Ironhide. Well two Arcees and Ironhide.
"Whatever." The femme replied as she entered the hall.
It really was strange how much her life had changed. Once upon a time she would never consider walking around the Autobot base, yet here she was. It was…unsettling.
Arriving at the med bay's doors, Ashfire took a second to listen. If Ratchet was in the middle of a rant she would wait to enter so as to not bring his wrath down on her. When she didn't hear Ratchet's trademark temper, she deemed it safe to enter.
Upon entering, the femme found Ratchet working on the blue Arcee. She had done her best to avoid all the Arcees after the blue one tried to attack her for referring to the motorcycle as the 'blue one'. She didn't get why that would offend, it wasn't like she was lying. That Arcee was blue and they all go by the same name so how the hell else was she to distinguish one from the others?
Ratchet turned from his work to glance at the white femme behind him. "And for what honor am I being graced with your presence for femme?" the medic questioned, voice dripping with sarcasm
"I've run out of rubix cubes to amuse myself with, sir." She replied just as cheekily. "So your new purpose in life is to entertain me before you fall apart from rust."
The blue motorcycle glared at the ex-con while Ratchet chuckled. "What makes you think that you can waltz around here and talk to us like that?" she snapped. Primus she hated the Con.
The femme smirked and turned on her speakers.
It's so easy when you're evil
This is the life you see, the devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
Ratchet laughed as he straightened up and the Arcee began to splutter with indignation. "You've spent too much time with Bumblebee," the medic chuckled. Arcee on the other hand was not amused.
"You disrespectful scum." The blue femme hissed. "You shouldn't be here. The only reason Prime let you stay is because you're Prowl's spawn."
"Get you." Ratchet growled at the small femme, brandishing his wrench. "I'm not going to tolerate that in here. She has just as much right to be here as you do. If you don't like it you can leave before I decide to turn you into an appliance."
Huffing, the blue Arcee rolled out of the med bay. Was it wrong that Ashfire felt a smug bit of satisfaction at watching the annoying thing be reprimanded by the medic?
She decided it wasn't.
However, there was one thing that disturbed her. There were conflicting emotions responding to the medic's defense of her. She felt…warmth that he would defend her. But there was uncertainty. Why was he defending her? It wasn't like the Arcee was lying. She didn't belong here. He must want something from her, he had to. Why else would he stand up for her?
Ratchet watched the warmongering femme leave. It was puzzling how Arcee's components were so different from each other. That one was always trying to start conflict. With a sigh he turned his attention back to Ashfire. There was no missing the thoughtful look in the femme's optics. He noticed when she was lost in her head she seemed to relax and her optics took on a smoldering glow.
-No wonder Bumblebee is infatuated with her - Ratchet thought with amusement.
Clearing his throat to get her attention, Ratchet watched as the white femme came back to the present. "Don't let what Arcee said get to you. She's just bored with no action."
She shrugged. "She was stating fact. I really don't belong here."
Ratchet scowled. "Yes you do and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
"So it doesn't bother you that I was a Decepticon? That my existence has been spent sabotaging, impersonating, and killing your side?" she replied with a raised optic ridge.
"Youngling, I'm a medic first and an Autobot second. But more importantly I'm a mech. You could be the spawn of Unicron himself and I wouldn't turn you away."
She was stunned. The old medic had spoken with genuine care in his voice. The only people who had ever cared about her were Barricade and Soundwave and his symbiotes. It was disconcerting.
She glanced to the side, unable to maintain eye contact with Ratchet. "I'm not sure what to say."
A small smile came to Ratchet's face. "Then don't say anything." He said as he strode to the femme and wrapped his arms around her.
She stiffened as she felt Ratchet hug her. It was strange. She didn't have many memories of hugs. She remembered Barricade cradling her when she small and as she grew older he would hold her close when she was injured or when he was in need of comfort. She remembered sitting on Soundwave's lap or next to his leg as the telepath's tentacles made sure she didn't slip or wander away. She remembered when she was a youngling and spent time with Deadlock. He would wrap his arm around her waist and press her against his body, but that was about it for physical affection other than interfacing.
This was something different. It wasn't bad, just strange.
Not sure what to do, she just sat and let the old mech hold her. It wasn't threatening so there was no reason to pull away. She didn't wrap her arms around him in return, but she felt it was enough for the medic to just let him hold her a bit longer.
Ratchet felt the femme tense as he hugged her. He watched her face as she seemed to debate with herself whether she should move or not. Eventually she forced the tension from her frame and sat peacefully, allowing the medic maintain the embrace. Ratchet didn't expect her to hug him back, but the fact that she was allowing the contact was a positive sign.
After awhile the old mech let the young femme go and took a couple steps back to give her some personal space. "Ok youngling, I got work to do, so shoo."
It took a minute for the femme's usual cocky demeanor to come back full force, but it did. "Whatever, maybe when I come back you'll have some manners." She tossed over shoulder as she strode out the door
"Don't count on it!" the ornery medic called after her.
When the doors closed behind her, she stopped. Her mouth curved into a deep scowl as her engine released a thundering growl. -I'm getting attached. - And suddenly the need to be away from base eclipsed all else.
Bumblebee sat with Sam at the view. Sam was visiting his parents during a break sadly things weren't going well for the young man. Mikeala and him had just broken up. Bee was saddened to see that his two young friends couldn't be together anymore, but he respected Mikeala's decisions. All he could do was offer Sam his support. He had spent all week with Sam and was beginning to worry about leaving Ashfire and Jazz alone together for so long.
Sam was very curious about Ashfire to Bumblebee's embarrassment. "So what kind of girl is she?"
"What?" Bee replied intelligently.
"What is the new Con like?"
"She's not a Con anymore Sam. She's been declared neutral by Prime."
"Yeah, but isn't that because she's Prowl's kid?"
"…..Yes."
"So?" Sam asked, eyes twinkling as he struggled to keep the grin off his face. "Does Prowl know you've got a crush on her?"
Bumblebee's engine stalled. "I do not." the camaro protested.
"Yes you do." Sam teased, laughing when he saw how flustered Bee was getting. "It's okay Bee." Sam patted his giant robot friend on the leg. "It'd be good for you to have someone besides me to hang around with."
Bee softened at the reassurance. "Thanks Sam."
The two friends sat in silence for a bit longer, enjoying the view and the calm of the evening. When the peace had passed Sam turned to his companion. "Are you ready to head back to base?"
Bumblebee nodded his head and transformed into the camaro that the human felt proud to be in.
When Bumblebee and Sam returned to base, they heard shouting. As Bee pulled up they could see NEST members running around looking panicked. "What's going on?" Sam asked, getting out of Bee so he could transform.
"I don't know." Bee sent out a ping on his comlink. Ratchet responded.
: What is it, youngling? :
: I just got back and everyone is running around. What's going on? : Bumblebee sent.
: The humans are throwing a hissy fit because Ashfire has disappeared. :
: She left? :
: Yup. Ironhide, Sideswipe, and the twins have already left to look for her. Personally, I think Jazz has the right idea about this situation. :
: Jazz? : Bumblebee questioned. He didn't doubt Jazz, but the strained relationship between the two were common knowledge .
: Jazz believes that if we leave her alone she'll come back by herself. I agree with him, but I know that not a lot of people are happy about her being here and will use this as ammo to get rid of her. Kid if you know where she went, you'd best get there. :
: Understood. Bumblebee out. :
"So what's going on?" Sam asked the yellow mech.
"Ashfire has gone missing. I have to find her." Bee informed the young man. With that, the young mech transformed and zoomed off to the one place Ashfire felt at peace.
Sam stood there grinning as he watched his car/best friend drive off. "Man he's so whipped."
Bumblebee sped to the ocean. She had to be there. She had to. He refused to think that she ran away, Ashfire wouldn't do that to Prowl. He hoped she wouldn't do that to him.
Relief flooded Bumblebee when his scanners picked up the femme's signal. Transforming, he started to run to the white form standing at the water's edge. He stopped at an arms distance from the femme. A worried look took over Bee's face when Ashfire didn't react to his presence.
"Ashfire?"
She looked over her shoulder at him. "Bumblebee." She quietly said her voice a strange monotone.
Bumblebee twitched his doorwings down in an empathetic gesture. "Is something wrong?"
The femme looked back to the ocean. A pregnant silence filled the air as the sound of lapping waves seemed like nothing but an annoying buzz. "I think it's time for me to leave." She answered at long last.
The feeling of pure ice washed through Bee's frame at her words. "You don't mean that."
"Why wouldn't I?" the femme countered. "There's nothing to keep me here. Why shouldn't I leave?"
"Prowl would miss you. I…I would miss you."
"Why!" the femme snapped, keeping her back to Bumblebee. "Why do you care? Why do any of you care?" She wouldn't look at him. She wouldn't. She didn't care about the hurt she could practically taste coming from him.
That's why innocent things didn't last, they were too fragile. Yet he had managed to last, to survive the war.
No, she didn't care, she wouldn't.
She didn't want his innocence, didn't want to see him break. Not anymore. Before it was fun to tease, now…she couldn't describe it. She didn't want to think about it. That would mean getting close. She didn't want to get close that would mean changing. And she didn't want to change.
Bumblebee knew the femme was trying to push him away. He wouldn't let her. He didn't understand why she was doing this, but he wouldn't let her. Not now. Not when he was so sure of himself, so sure this is what he wanted. Slowly the camaro closed the distance between him and the femme and gently wrapped his arms around her, pressing his face against her back.
He had to make her see that she was needed here. That he needed her here. He couldn't remember the last time he felt his spark burn like this and he was so tired of being alone. Bumblebee tried to speak, but his vocalizer wouldn't form the words. Of course it happened now when he needed to talk most. Carefully he scrutinized his music list to find the words he needed. Words that would make Ashfire see that she had to stay.
Cause I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay. Stay.
Ashfire listened to song Bee had chosen. Figures he'd find something like that to play to her. She glanced down at the yellow arms holding her. Funny how this was the second hug she received today. At least this one wasn't as awkward. She could feel the comfort and need emanating from the scout behind her.
It felt almost nice. Bumblebee felt warm. Not like the burn of arousal she's coaxed out of his frame before. No, this was gentle, simple, sincere. It almost frightened her. Still she didn't move. It wasn't worth it, not when the numbing warmth was flowing into her body, relaxing her, calming her.
She should leave. She should kill this poison filling her, weakening her. But that would mean moving away from the scout cradling himself against her back.
Well, as Barricade used to say she was a hedonist.
"Do you want me?" she whispered.
"Yes."
"Are you sure?" she asked. "I can't promise to be kind or gentle. I'll probably hurt you…but you won't be lonely." She turned her head to look at the scout through her peripheral vision. "Do you still want me?"
Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay, though my skies are turning gray
A bitter smile spread across her face as Bee continued to play the song. The irony was tragic. "You may live to regret this." She told the naïve mech. The arms around her tightened.
"I won't." Bee forced out, voice filled with static.
"You will." She replied activating her own speakers.
You've got to fight just to make it through
Cause I will be the death of you