(no subject)
So the other day some random chick read tarot cards for me at school and some of the crap she said really creeped me out. She said that I had lost a good friend recently, that I had lost motivation and that I was too preoccupied with whats been happening lately that I've gotten off track. She also said that I had a bright future comeing up and fast - but I don't want to jinx that. I dunno - I just found it all rather creepy - especially since I don't really belive in that stuff.
Anyway - on the subject of motivation, I really don't have any anymore. I've been skipping classes left and right, I already droped one class. I wait till the last second to do all my homework - and when I do it the work is half assed becuase I don't really care anyway. Last semester I was in this escape mentality and that helped - but now I'm just thinking that even when I leave things will probably not change much. It will just be the same shit with diffrent people in a diffrent place. I'm just so tired of everything, I mean, almost pysicaly tired - I just want to go to bead and never wake up. I need to find something to live for - my own future doesn't seem to be cutting it, becuase right now that future just seems to be as lonely and depressing as my life is now. I want to give up on living even though I havn't really lived yet.
Anyway - on the subject of motivation, I really don't have any anymore. I've been skipping classes left and right, I already droped one class. I wait till the last second to do all my homework - and when I do it the work is half assed becuase I don't really care anyway. Last semester I was in this escape mentality and that helped - but now I'm just thinking that even when I leave things will probably not change much. It will just be the same shit with diffrent people in a diffrent place. I'm just so tired of everything, I mean, almost pysicaly tired - I just want to go to bead and never wake up. I need to find something to live for - my own future doesn't seem to be cutting it, becuase right now that future just seems to be as lonely and depressing as my life is now. I want to give up on living even though I havn't really lived yet.