My New (ish) Love... ^______^
is an actor by the name of 聂远 Nie Yuan. Well, technically, I love a character played by him, first and foremost. When I was down with the swine, I had whole days upon days to rest in bed and do nothing but watch dramas. This 贞观长歌 is a historical drama set in the rich tapestry of Tang Dynasty. He plays the third son 李恪, of the emperor, one of the earlier Tang rulers.
In the drama, he is brilliant and ambitious, and throughout the story continues to vie for the inheritance of the throne. Unfortunately, he was ill-equipped for this race starting at square one, because he derives his maternal lineage from the royalty of the previous, overthrown dynasty. The crowned prince, on the other hand, a kindly but cowardly fellow, has the support of the entire court behind him, plus his mother the queen and his uncle the chief counselor to the emperor. No matter how outstanding his achievements, how talented his performances (or perhaps because of them--being the nail that sticks out), he is passed over for recognition, and even rebuked for immodesty. Outshining the crowned prince is an unforgivable sin. To play the game of delicate balance in court, sometimes even his father is forced to punish him when he was not at fault. His mentor, who is really much more of a father to him than his own father ever was, tries to convince him to soften his edges, but he is too proud to listen, and his father's efforts at spurning him only caused him to more desperately aim to prove himself to his father.
Since love didn't seem to be forth-coming, then approval would suffice. And so he strove to win his father's approval (and it was hard-won approval), often taking on the most difficult and distasteful tasks that would involve risking his life or his popularity. Father makes use of him, but does not love and cherish him, like the others, and is always ready to order him to be caned or sent away from court at the slightest infraction. Royal wrath is baaad to incur. In the end, even though the crowned prince loses the inheritance, the throne went to the emperor's ninth child, another one of the queen's birth children. And he was put to death on questionable charges.
But he is proud, and men don't cry. Sometimes, despite all the outward facade of strength and aggression, he seems just like a hurt and lonely child who badly wanted Father's love and attention. It hurts to see the puppy-like excitement in his eyes at the slightest praise his father manages to spare him. Ah, this dog-blood is starting to nasty even myself out. But oh, he suffers so exquisitely. And he speaks to the hurt, approval-seeking child in all of us. But approval is not love. Perhaps he needs a therapist's couch more than he needs a throne.
MVs:
http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/eRgQUtDd_3c/
http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/-lBlacO5PQ8/ (him and his mentor)
www.tudou.com/programs/view/rLcCRLslovA/ (this one is the saddest) >.<