Life goes too fast. Need a pill of happiness!
What can i say. Too much to tell about this one and half year, which passed.
Life is turning like a carousel.
No more games. Divorce. A year of independant (if there is such thing at all ) life.
Another marriage. Living half of world apart. Kids. School. Work. Planning.
Living in an empty space. Thats how i would explain my nowaday state.
You're just out there. No idea where exactly. No idea where to go/move/fly/do anything.
Cold. Kids playing their own games. Friends too busy to call. Ive dropped ideas about calling them, cause there were numerous times they simply HAD NO TIME to meet. Do i have time to keep calling?
My love is too far away out of reach. Not much to do - its just how it is. We need to wait. How long? No idea.
Yet, its pain. I HATE computers, headsets, and all possible messengers. Cause its the only way i can see and hear him. And its such a teasing. And it totally NOT THE WAY i wanna do this.
I wanna cry, i wanna scream, i wanna cuddle in his arms and tell his everything about how i feel, and i ... cant.
Cause every word, every mood, every sad sound will make him even more depressed.
We need to wait. We wait.
And yet, my life goes. Now. Every minute. No matter how... i am.
Sad, annoyed, planning, waiting, baring, hoping, anything.
Trying to remember big things i should be happy about, tho tend to forget:
I love John. He loves me. We gonna be together. I have 2 healthy and smart girls. Everything gonna be ok .. eventualy...
Trying to find small things to be happy about: A cup of tasty tea. Peter Gabriel. My annoying friend dachshund. A weekend - lots of time to do whatever i feel like. Sleep. New anime series i havent seen. Healthy kids. Short haircut. Me.
I should be more happy about myself. (keep trying... harder... harder)
"Dont give up
You still have us
Dont give up
We dont need much of anything
Dont give up
cause somewhere theres a place
Where we belong"
Life is turning like a carousel.
No more games. Divorce. A year of independant (if there is such thing at all ) life.
Another marriage. Living half of world apart. Kids. School. Work. Planning.
Living in an empty space. Thats how i would explain my nowaday state.
You're just out there. No idea where exactly. No idea where to go/move/fly/do anything.
Cold. Kids playing their own games. Friends too busy to call. Ive dropped ideas about calling them, cause there were numerous times they simply HAD NO TIME to meet. Do i have time to keep calling?
My love is too far away out of reach. Not much to do - its just how it is. We need to wait. How long? No idea.
Yet, its pain. I HATE computers, headsets, and all possible messengers. Cause its the only way i can see and hear him. And its such a teasing. And it totally NOT THE WAY i wanna do this.
I wanna cry, i wanna scream, i wanna cuddle in his arms and tell his everything about how i feel, and i ... cant.
Cause every word, every mood, every sad sound will make him even more depressed.
We need to wait. We wait.
And yet, my life goes. Now. Every minute. No matter how... i am.
Sad, annoyed, planning, waiting, baring, hoping, anything.
Trying to remember big things i should be happy about, tho tend to forget:
I love John. He loves me. We gonna be together. I have 2 healthy and smart girls. Everything gonna be ok .. eventualy...
Trying to find small things to be happy about: A cup of tasty tea. Peter Gabriel. My annoying friend dachshund. A weekend - lots of time to do whatever i feel like. Sleep. New anime series i havent seen. Healthy kids. Short haircut. Me.
I should be more happy about myself. (keep trying... harder... harder)
"Dont give up
You still have us
Dont give up
We dont need much of anything
Dont give up
cause somewhere theres a place
Where we belong"