I hope this makes sense
The last entry I made was seriously lacking some important information about stupid shit that went down. In the post before the last one where i wrote about how Eddie was mad at me. He wasn't mad at me I found out, he was mad at justin because he liked justin and was hurt but still liked me. I talked to eddie and lori friday I think and Lori told me justin was confused and needed to figure things out. I understood that and respected that but still wanted to talk to him, not to pressure him, just because I like talking to him. Then apparently Justin didn't want to talk to me on the phone because he wanted to talk to me in person and it was really important and I asked Lori to ask him when he would want to and she wouldn't because she said she didn't want to be in the middle. That wouldn't have put her in the middle, and she always puts me in the middle of her and matt's shit. She promised me she would drive him over the next day, but that never happened and she wasn't picking up her cell phone. It was stressing me out and freaking me out a lot, and i didn't know why. Nothing was helping so i snorted a half a vicodin and took 3 muscle relaxants and slept till 7. The next day was the ritalin day so I wasn't as distracted by the Justin situation and the day after that I had summer school and was still doing ritalin so I felt that happiness only stimulants can give me, that comforting feeling. After school I had a shitload of homework and worked on that until my drug group. Then came back home and watched a 2-hour tv show and went for more ritalin after that and found out i had a voice message. It was Justin apologizing for blowing me off and he felt horrible about everything and wanted to see me really bad so we could have that talk we really needed and he would call me later. He didn't call and I was still spiraling into depression and felt the need for ritalin growing stronger. The next day, Tuesday, I didn't want to be alone and I called Ashley and she and Vivi picked me up and we drove around and it helped a little but I was still sad. Then we came back to my house and watched a movie but Ashley's friend called and she had to pick her up but Violetta wanted to see the end of the movie so Ashley said she'd come back and pick her up when she called. She wasn't picking up her cell phone and then guess who called? None other than Justin asking if I wanted to chill and if I could pick him up because Eddie had to go a meeting or something and I told him I would but I needed to talk to ashley so we tried calling her again and she wasn't picking up. My brother wouldn't pick him up because he didn't want to miss the beginning of the All-Star game but I did get him to drive us to get Vivi's car so she drove to pick Justin up for me and dropped us off at my house. Because I was so depressed earlier I did a lot of ritalin and ephedra and was nervous because I was afraid he was going to break up with me because he said "we really need to talk, and in person" so I couldn't stop moving around, fixing things or tidying up. He thought it was because I was mad at him but I told him I wasn't. Then the talk came and it wasn't anything bad at all so all that worrying and getting real fucked up was for nothing. He asked if I really liked him because he really liked me and talked with Eddie and he's fine with us going out, and really wanted to be with me. I told him of course I like him and was all happy and we snuggled and watched porn and made out until 11:30 when Eddie picked him up. My mom was pissed he was there that late but I didn't even care. I even told him how I felt about not being called and what I did and why and he apologized some more and told me it was hard to call me sometimes due to still being on the run but he'd call me more. So I've been in a pretty good mood other than feeling like shit because I have some stomach bug, but even that hasn't brought me down or stopped me from chilling, I'm not contagious so I don't have to worry about getting other people sick.