It's been a little while.
I was thinking of doing one of those, "all you are," posts, but I'm so ennui-laden with trying to summarize myself. You just cannot wrap a person in words-that's what's so riveting and adoration-spurring about characters-they're confinable people, just as amazing and real as real people, and yet, they can be ensconced neatly into written words.
If I seem to be rambling and just off my game, that's probably because I'm up in the air. I'm still going through all of the motions of my idyllic life (when I’m honest about it, I have nothing to contest), and yet...I'm not just existing. (I wish I were.)
I’m basically ripping out the current mental interior and raiding the furniture department for suitable trappings. This will eventually be rewarding, but I'm unnerved because I'm sure I'm imparting this sporadic, annoying person right now, and I'm really not. I'm just...not stanch. By definition, I can’t be, because you can’t be stalwart in the nonexistent convictions. I mean, people are, in things they don’t believe in, but I try not to deal with that. Everything is in the air, so there's really nothing cohesive at this point. When it has all crystallized, I'm sure it will be amazing. Right now, there’s me (the me that you deal with) and there’s this (if I may utilize a film-ism-I am applying it differently) an Idea of Me. And even I do not know what it is.
But right now, I'm a bundle of nerves, and it's maddening. I greatly look forward to the day when I can summarize myself.
That was a lot of nothing! Photos coming, Libby! :)
If I seem to be rambling and just off my game, that's probably because I'm up in the air. I'm still going through all of the motions of my idyllic life (when I’m honest about it, I have nothing to contest), and yet...I'm not just existing. (I wish I were.)
I’m basically ripping out the current mental interior and raiding the furniture department for suitable trappings. This will eventually be rewarding, but I'm unnerved because I'm sure I'm imparting this sporadic, annoying person right now, and I'm really not. I'm just...not stanch. By definition, I can’t be, because you can’t be stalwart in the nonexistent convictions. I mean, people are, in things they don’t believe in, but I try not to deal with that. Everything is in the air, so there's really nothing cohesive at this point. When it has all crystallized, I'm sure it will be amazing. Right now, there’s me (the me that you deal with) and there’s this (if I may utilize a film-ism-I am applying it differently) an Idea of Me. And even I do not know what it is.
But right now, I'm a bundle of nerves, and it's maddening. I greatly look forward to the day when I can summarize myself.
That was a lot of nothing! Photos coming, Libby! :)