I really shouldn't laugh at this... yet I am
My father and I were talking about Thomas a Becket today, and how he died (not a very pretty picture), and somehow we ended up talking about the ignominous death of Richard I (the Lionheart). After years of crusading and staging large battles and winning major victories, he died from a measly arrow wound to the shoulder that went gangrenous.
What a crappy place to get gangrene. I mean, okay, it's NEVER nice to get gangrene, no matter where you get it, but seriously -- the shoulder? I mean, that's right next to your head. You can't exactly amputate that, now can you? I mean, can you imagine how THAT conversation would have gone?SURGEON: Well, yer 'ighness, Oi've got good news and bad news. Pick yer poison (no pun intended, yer majesty)
RICHARD: Bad news, my good man, bad news.
SURGEON: Well... ye've got gangrene, yer 'ighness.
RICHARD: No!
SURGEON: 'Fraid so, 'fraid so. And i's spreading from yer shoulder to yer neck
RICHARD: Horrors!
SURGEON: BUT! There's good news, yer 'ighness!
RICHARD: Tell on, tell on!
SURGEON: We can stop the gangrene, what's already started, from spreading if we amputate, yer majesty.
RICHARD: Fine, fine, take the arm! I shall fight another day in another way!
SURGEON: Actually, i's not the arm we'd need to take, majesty.
RICHARD: Well... what then?
SURGEON: Well, sir, we can stop the gangrene, but we're goin' to have to amputate yer 'ead.
RICHARD: *blink*
RICHARD: WHAT?
SURGEON: Just a quick procedure, 'ighness. Bit of a snip, bit of a cut, bit of a slice, and bing, bang, bongo, yer right as rain; just a bit shorter.
RICHARD: Let me get this straight. You're asking permission to cut off my head?
SURGEON: Oh no, sir! That'd be ridiculous!
RICHARD: Glad we agree on that.
SURGEON: No, sir, we'd never cut off yer HEAD. No no, we'd be cutting off yer body. Works better that way. We'd just have to find ya some kind of decorative pedestal to rule from.
I shouldn't find that funny. And yet I do. LOL! *goes and gives self stern talking to*
What a crappy place to get gangrene. I mean, okay, it's NEVER nice to get gangrene, no matter where you get it, but seriously -- the shoulder? I mean, that's right next to your head. You can't exactly amputate that, now can you? I mean, can you imagine how THAT conversation would have gone?SURGEON: Well, yer 'ighness, Oi've got good news and bad news. Pick yer poison (no pun intended, yer majesty)
RICHARD: Bad news, my good man, bad news.
SURGEON: Well... ye've got gangrene, yer 'ighness.
RICHARD: No!
SURGEON: 'Fraid so, 'fraid so. And i's spreading from yer shoulder to yer neck
RICHARD: Horrors!
SURGEON: BUT! There's good news, yer 'ighness!
RICHARD: Tell on, tell on!
SURGEON: We can stop the gangrene, what's already started, from spreading if we amputate, yer majesty.
RICHARD: Fine, fine, take the arm! I shall fight another day in another way!
SURGEON: Actually, i's not the arm we'd need to take, majesty.
RICHARD: Well... what then?
SURGEON: Well, sir, we can stop the gangrene, but we're goin' to have to amputate yer 'ead.
RICHARD: *blink*
RICHARD: WHAT?
SURGEON: Just a quick procedure, 'ighness. Bit of a snip, bit of a cut, bit of a slice, and bing, bang, bongo, yer right as rain; just a bit shorter.
RICHARD: Let me get this straight. You're asking permission to cut off my head?
SURGEON: Oh no, sir! That'd be ridiculous!
RICHARD: Glad we agree on that.
SURGEON: No, sir, we'd never cut off yer HEAD. No no, we'd be cutting off yer body. Works better that way. We'd just have to find ya some kind of decorative pedestal to rule from.
I shouldn't find that funny. And yet I do. LOL! *goes and gives self stern talking to*