if i had words.
an intersting mix of feelings:
reading an article on trayvon martin and america's "culture of suspicion"
learning that scientists have discovered there are 9 species of fish in AUS that are developing arms and legs
seeing my uncle's picture of the last time he held Grandma's hand
listening to radical face's "welcome home" and lama's "spell" (which makes me think of no.6)
i've come home. and now i'm wondering where i'll go.
i wish i could change the world. in some way. in some small way. i want my children to ask me, like i ask my mother, "where were you then? what did you do?" and i'll say, "i was there. i was there. and i held my fist high and cried with them all. i was there. and i did that."
what are we in the scope of things? sometimes i get caught up in living that isn't really living. it's like auto-pilot. work, school, whatever you can call my social life. day-to-day my worries-- money, grades, clothing. my family. but aren't there things bigger than that? isn't the world at stake? isn't liberty and happiness at stake? isn't the world changing in some ways drastically and in some ways slowly? i want to change people's life. to free them. to free myself. even if we are so small. maybe it's because we are so small, that our need for peace is magnified. we aren't going to last long, individually, perhaps even collectively. and maybe that makes it even more important to find a balance.
i don't want to go through life without questioning things. i don't want to be so material. i don't want to let myself think the rat-race is ok. sometimes i think, "i want to be who i am. why am i not that person? there is no better time than now?" but that "ideal" me is someone all style and no substance. more talk and look... more air, than anything worth being. but... sometimes when I think like this... that person i want to be seems so far off and another image replaces it-- one of me as a fighter. somebody who is going to change this world.
but i know, i'm gunna finish writing this. listening to these songs. feeling these things. and then it'll be just like before. back in the loop. well, i guess i can't hold this radicalized opinion forever. i just wish i could feel this spark, the need to change the order of things, more often.
reading an article on trayvon martin and america's "culture of suspicion"
learning that scientists have discovered there are 9 species of fish in AUS that are developing arms and legs
seeing my uncle's picture of the last time he held Grandma's hand
listening to radical face's "welcome home" and lama's "spell" (which makes me think of no.6)
i've come home. and now i'm wondering where i'll go.
i wish i could change the world. in some way. in some small way. i want my children to ask me, like i ask my mother, "where were you then? what did you do?" and i'll say, "i was there. i was there. and i held my fist high and cried with them all. i was there. and i did that."
what are we in the scope of things? sometimes i get caught up in living that isn't really living. it's like auto-pilot. work, school, whatever you can call my social life. day-to-day my worries-- money, grades, clothing. my family. but aren't there things bigger than that? isn't the world at stake? isn't liberty and happiness at stake? isn't the world changing in some ways drastically and in some ways slowly? i want to change people's life. to free them. to free myself. even if we are so small. maybe it's because we are so small, that our need for peace is magnified. we aren't going to last long, individually, perhaps even collectively. and maybe that makes it even more important to find a balance.
i don't want to go through life without questioning things. i don't want to be so material. i don't want to let myself think the rat-race is ok. sometimes i think, "i want to be who i am. why am i not that person? there is no better time than now?" but that "ideal" me is someone all style and no substance. more talk and look... more air, than anything worth being. but... sometimes when I think like this... that person i want to be seems so far off and another image replaces it-- one of me as a fighter. somebody who is going to change this world.
but i know, i'm gunna finish writing this. listening to these songs. feeling these things. and then it'll be just like before. back in the loop. well, i guess i can't hold this radicalized opinion forever. i just wish i could feel this spark, the need to change the order of things, more often.