(no subject)
hung out with ally and joe today.
it was awesome
we went to denny's.
and then to Jon's accident sight. My heart beat faster as we pulled into the pavement beside where he died. I had to slow myself down, because i would have run over to it if i hadnt. i let myself take everything in. i tried to look for the yellowed spots on the pavement and guardrail that had once signified where jons head smashed through, as did the one bent spike thing. A candle was lit.Someone had been there earlier. when? and who? do they still feel the way that i do? so many things had been added to the small memorial since i had last gone there, a day ater the accident. How could so much time pass? Tomorrow will be 10 months since he died. 10 months of vulnerablity, and stepping on eggshells, being careful not to say anything to upset anyone. i forced myself to move on...away from the place where he spent the last few minutes of his life.
next was jons grave.
not too bad...i just retraced in my mind the burial. the sounds...the emotions..the rose i set on his casket after i burnt my lips kissing the brown metal. i took a couple pebbles to remember this day.
anyways..enough about that.
after we went to the mall..where i met up with dave and tom...and ally and i ended up seeing Stay Alive with them...it was good....kinda fucked up. and kinda blegh. i almost fell asleep a couple of times.
i love being able to smell dave on my clothes and in my hair. lol..random..sorry.
anywho..i hope everyone had a nice friday.
it was awesome
we went to denny's.
and then to Jon's accident sight. My heart beat faster as we pulled into the pavement beside where he died. I had to slow myself down, because i would have run over to it if i hadnt. i let myself take everything in. i tried to look for the yellowed spots on the pavement and guardrail that had once signified where jons head smashed through, as did the one bent spike thing. A candle was lit.Someone had been there earlier. when? and who? do they still feel the way that i do? so many things had been added to the small memorial since i had last gone there, a day ater the accident. How could so much time pass? Tomorrow will be 10 months since he died. 10 months of vulnerablity, and stepping on eggshells, being careful not to say anything to upset anyone. i forced myself to move on...away from the place where he spent the last few minutes of his life.
next was jons grave.
not too bad...i just retraced in my mind the burial. the sounds...the emotions..the rose i set on his casket after i burnt my lips kissing the brown metal. i took a couple pebbles to remember this day.
anyways..enough about that.
after we went to the mall..where i met up with dave and tom...and ally and i ended up seeing Stay Alive with them...it was good....kinda fucked up. and kinda blegh. i almost fell asleep a couple of times.
i love being able to smell dave on my clothes and in my hair. lol..random..sorry.
anywho..i hope everyone had a nice friday.