RPS (Jared/Jensen) After the memories are gone [12/18]
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Chapter Twelve
Jensen woke up covered in sweat. It was that same dream again. He had been having it even more frequently lately and he was beginning to grow desperate.
He had called his doctor in Dallas two days ago, explaining to him the details of the dream and the sudden changes in his life. The old doctor had explained to him that the dream was probably an unconscious expression of all his worries and that it may have no direct relation with any lost memory. But Jensen hadn’t been so sure. The men in his dream were faceless and the feeling was of a sudden flashback. Jensen suspected that it could be related to something that had happened to him or someone he knew. In any way, it was disturbing and it was interfering with his sleep.
Jensen took a deep breath and stood up carefully so as not to wake Jared. He walked down the stairs and arrived at the small living room, where dozens of boxes were placed around the sofa. Soon they would be moving to the new house and their few belongings were being carefully packed. Jensen didn’t want to think about all the money Jared was investing in this house. He knew that he couldn’t contribute with any money for the expenses and the fact was eating him from the inside. He owned Jared far too much and he hated that his mother couldn’t understand that.
She had appeared twice at the cabin, without announcement, inviting herself for dinner or lunch and being as inconvenient as possible. Especially about their new house and the fact that it used to belong to the Ackles family. Jared was a gentleman about it, but Jensen didn’t share any of his endless patience. His mother was getting on his nerves and Jensen was reaching his limit.
Jensen sighed loudly and looked outside from the living room window. It was still night, the intense moonlight was coming from the outside designing the shapes of trees on the floor. Outside there was only the sound of distant dogs and night birds. Jensen had never felt so tired, but the prospect of going to bed for another version of the same nightmare kept him awake. He leaned his face against the cold glass of the window and closed his eyes, feeling the moonlight hitting his eyelids.
“Jen?” He sensed Jared’s hand reaching for his shoulder even before he had touched it.
“Sorry, I woke you up.” Jensen opened his eyes.
“It seems I can’t sleep alone anymore.” Jared hugged him close, a big hand guiding Jensen’s head to Jared’s chest. “Another nightmare?”
“Yeah.” Jensen didn’t want to retell everything that he had seen over and over again.
“We shouldn’t move this soon. I don’t think you’re ready.” This time Jared was the one who sighed.
“I really want to live there and this place served its purpose. The toilet barely works, the cold water was only fun once and I can’t cook properly in this kitchen.”
“I loved every single moment. There were no servants to bother us, no neighbours…” Jared kissed Jensen’s forehead.
“Until my mum decided to bother us.” Jensen shrugged. “And, we can come back here anytime we want.”
“Are you sure this is the right thing to do?”
“Yeah.” Jensen looked into Jared’s eyes. “We need our space. We can’t hide here forever, the people of Snyder need to get used to the idea that we’re together.”
“You’re right, as usual.” Jared agreed kissing Jensen in the lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Jensen whispered back.
Jensen took another sip of his beer and stretched his long legs in a lazy slow movement. He was tired, the moving had taken all day and there was still a lot left to do. He looked up and watched his fiancé with amusement.
Jared refused to give up unpacking for the day. He kept looking at the boxes and frowning, he just couldn’t rest without getting everything in place first.
“Will you sit with me?” Jensen asked amused.
“Somebody needs to do the work around here.” Jared glared at him.
“I’m exhausted.” Jensen complained. “Just sit with me.”
“I can’t! This is a mess and not even an organized mess.” Jared held a pair of socks in the air as an example.
“Jared, nobody is going to see this but us, so what’s the difference? We had a hard day and I really need the rest.” Jensen gestured to the empty space on the sofa.
“I…” Jared looked at all the boxes and then back at Jensen a few times. “Who am I kidding? I give up.”
“That’s the way.” Jensen smiled and reached for another beer from the six-pack lying on the floor.
Jared accepted it with a kiss and finally rested against the sofa with a loud sigh and a slow stretching movement of legs and arms.
“Isn’t it great?” Jensen commented. “I really feel as if I’m home.”
“So, you’re feeling ok so far?” Jared’s worried expression made Jensen’s heart ache.
“More or less.” Jensen admitted sincerely. “I’m still avoiding my old bedroom and most of the upper level. I still get nervous every time I go there. ”
“How are we supposed to live here like this?” Jared asked with irony.
“There’s a guest room in this floor…”
“I still think this was a mistake.” Jared frowned but took another sip of his beer.
“I’ll be careful.” Jensen leaned against his fiancé.”We’ll be careful.”
“You’ll tell me if something goes wrong, right?”
“Of course.” Jensen murmured enjoying the much needed rest.
Jared’s hand guided his head closer and Jensen opened his mouth, welcoming his fiance’s kisses. It was somewhat different to do it in their own house, in the place where they were planning to live for the rest of their lives. It made the upcoming wedding look real and Jensen felt genuine peacefulness for the first time in a long time.
“I love you.” Jared whispered against his mouth.
“I love you too.” Jensen leaned down on the sofa, pushing Jared with him.
They kissed with a newer intensity, rejoicing in each other’s words. Jensen spread his legs to welcome Jared in a closer embrace. His hand travelled down the clothed back to rest on Jared’s ass. He felt the jeans and the muscles underneath and just as he was about to make a dirty remark and a clear invitation to take the kissing to another level he felt something in Jared’s jeans vibrate.
“Fuck.” Jensen cursed as the sound of the cell phone started to be heard.
“Sorry, Jen.” Jared sighed loudly but reached for his cell phone, looked at the screen and took the call.
Jensen watched him as his facial expression altered at every exchange of words.
Annoyance.
Anger.
Sadness.
Guilt.
He didn’t need to hear the whole conversation to know that Jared was talking with his father. It was perhaps odd that they hadn’t moved much during the phone call, Jared was still trapped between his legs and Jensen felt a comforting hand stroke his outer thigh. Jensen smiled. Jared wanted to reassure him that everything was ok, but he was the one who needed comfort.
Mr. Padalecki was once again disturbing their little heaven. His mother was getting used to seeing them together, perhaps for all the wrong reasons, but still she was trying to give Jared a chance. Especially now that she had been reassured that Jared had not been the reason Jensen had left Snyder in the first place. Jensen knew that although she wasn’t the perfect mother she was happy to see him happy. She was still scared but Jared had slowly won her over and Jensen was only afraid that he would never be able to do the same with Jared’s father.
Their last conversation had led him to believe that they had problems and similar arguments before. And although Jared reassured him that his father had never interfered directly in their previous relationship, Jensen wasn’t so sure. He had seen hatred that went beyond Snyder rivalry and superstition. He wasn’t surprised or displeased to see Jensen back, he was completely furious as if such thing should have never been possible.
Jensen kept such considerations to himself. He didn’t want to bother Jared without having anything more than suspicions. He didn’t like the man and that was enough to cloud his judgement. He knew that he could be unfairly wrong.
“I see that I managed to ruin the mood.” Jared’s voice woke Jensen from his thoughts.
“Sorry, I was just thinking.”
“It was my father, if you hadn’t noticed.” Jared moved away sitting next to him on the sofa and Jensen reluctantly let him go.
“I did.” Jensen studied Jared’s face looking for any clue about what was coming. “What did he want?”
“He’s forcing us to set a date for the wedding.” Jared sighed. “He’s calling a family meeting to officially transfer control of the bank accounts and lands to me as the new head of the family. In order to do that we have to announce an official date for the wedding.”
“When is this going to happen?” Jensen asked worried. “And what other members?”
“This weekend.” Jensen sighed at that answer and Jared frowned. “And he was talking mostly of my cousins and his brother. And maybe my grandmother will come from New York to meet you.”
“This weekend is pretty soon. We haven’t talked about a date yet.” Jensen stated carefully.
“He’s doing this on purpose. He knows we rushed the engagement because of the debt and he’s trying to force us into breaking it.” Jared reached for Jensen’s hand. “But I don’t want to. I’ve never been this happy before. I’ve never feel this complete… I want to make it official.”
“I feel the same.” Jensen smiled and squeezed Jared’s hand.
“So let’s just say… four months?” Jared searched Jensen’s face for an answer. “It’s time enough to prepare for the wedding and hopefully we’ll make our parents get along until then. What do you think?”
“Sounds perfect.” Jensen touched the engagement ring on Jared’s hand.
“I guess we’ll have to survive another party.” Jared frowned.
“I can’t wait.” Jensen rolled his eyes and fell against the sofa suddenly exhausted again.
Next chapter...
Chapter Twelve
Jensen woke up covered in sweat. It was that same dream again. He had been having it even more frequently lately and he was beginning to grow desperate.
He had called his doctor in Dallas two days ago, explaining to him the details of the dream and the sudden changes in his life. The old doctor had explained to him that the dream was probably an unconscious expression of all his worries and that it may have no direct relation with any lost memory. But Jensen hadn’t been so sure. The men in his dream were faceless and the feeling was of a sudden flashback. Jensen suspected that it could be related to something that had happened to him or someone he knew. In any way, it was disturbing and it was interfering with his sleep.
Jensen took a deep breath and stood up carefully so as not to wake Jared. He walked down the stairs and arrived at the small living room, where dozens of boxes were placed around the sofa. Soon they would be moving to the new house and their few belongings were being carefully packed. Jensen didn’t want to think about all the money Jared was investing in this house. He knew that he couldn’t contribute with any money for the expenses and the fact was eating him from the inside. He owned Jared far too much and he hated that his mother couldn’t understand that.
She had appeared twice at the cabin, without announcement, inviting herself for dinner or lunch and being as inconvenient as possible. Especially about their new house and the fact that it used to belong to the Ackles family. Jared was a gentleman about it, but Jensen didn’t share any of his endless patience. His mother was getting on his nerves and Jensen was reaching his limit.
Jensen sighed loudly and looked outside from the living room window. It was still night, the intense moonlight was coming from the outside designing the shapes of trees on the floor. Outside there was only the sound of distant dogs and night birds. Jensen had never felt so tired, but the prospect of going to bed for another version of the same nightmare kept him awake. He leaned his face against the cold glass of the window and closed his eyes, feeling the moonlight hitting his eyelids.
“Jen?” He sensed Jared’s hand reaching for his shoulder even before he had touched it.
“Sorry, I woke you up.” Jensen opened his eyes.
“It seems I can’t sleep alone anymore.” Jared hugged him close, a big hand guiding Jensen’s head to Jared’s chest. “Another nightmare?”
“Yeah.” Jensen didn’t want to retell everything that he had seen over and over again.
“We shouldn’t move this soon. I don’t think you’re ready.” This time Jared was the one who sighed.
“I really want to live there and this place served its purpose. The toilet barely works, the cold water was only fun once and I can’t cook properly in this kitchen.”
“I loved every single moment. There were no servants to bother us, no neighbours…” Jared kissed Jensen’s forehead.
“Until my mum decided to bother us.” Jensen shrugged. “And, we can come back here anytime we want.”
“Are you sure this is the right thing to do?”
“Yeah.” Jensen looked into Jared’s eyes. “We need our space. We can’t hide here forever, the people of Snyder need to get used to the idea that we’re together.”
“You’re right, as usual.” Jared agreed kissing Jensen in the lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Jensen whispered back.
Jensen took another sip of his beer and stretched his long legs in a lazy slow movement. He was tired, the moving had taken all day and there was still a lot left to do. He looked up and watched his fiancé with amusement.
Jared refused to give up unpacking for the day. He kept looking at the boxes and frowning, he just couldn’t rest without getting everything in place first.
“Will you sit with me?” Jensen asked amused.
“Somebody needs to do the work around here.” Jared glared at him.
“I’m exhausted.” Jensen complained. “Just sit with me.”
“I can’t! This is a mess and not even an organized mess.” Jared held a pair of socks in the air as an example.
“Jared, nobody is going to see this but us, so what’s the difference? We had a hard day and I really need the rest.” Jensen gestured to the empty space on the sofa.
“I…” Jared looked at all the boxes and then back at Jensen a few times. “Who am I kidding? I give up.”
“That’s the way.” Jensen smiled and reached for another beer from the six-pack lying on the floor.
Jared accepted it with a kiss and finally rested against the sofa with a loud sigh and a slow stretching movement of legs and arms.
“Isn’t it great?” Jensen commented. “I really feel as if I’m home.”
“So, you’re feeling ok so far?” Jared’s worried expression made Jensen’s heart ache.
“More or less.” Jensen admitted sincerely. “I’m still avoiding my old bedroom and most of the upper level. I still get nervous every time I go there. ”
“How are we supposed to live here like this?” Jared asked with irony.
“There’s a guest room in this floor…”
“I still think this was a mistake.” Jared frowned but took another sip of his beer.
“I’ll be careful.” Jensen leaned against his fiancé.”We’ll be careful.”
“You’ll tell me if something goes wrong, right?”
“Of course.” Jensen murmured enjoying the much needed rest.
Jared’s hand guided his head closer and Jensen opened his mouth, welcoming his fiance’s kisses. It was somewhat different to do it in their own house, in the place where they were planning to live for the rest of their lives. It made the upcoming wedding look real and Jensen felt genuine peacefulness for the first time in a long time.
“I love you.” Jared whispered against his mouth.
“I love you too.” Jensen leaned down on the sofa, pushing Jared with him.
They kissed with a newer intensity, rejoicing in each other’s words. Jensen spread his legs to welcome Jared in a closer embrace. His hand travelled down the clothed back to rest on Jared’s ass. He felt the jeans and the muscles underneath and just as he was about to make a dirty remark and a clear invitation to take the kissing to another level he felt something in Jared’s jeans vibrate.
“Fuck.” Jensen cursed as the sound of the cell phone started to be heard.
“Sorry, Jen.” Jared sighed loudly but reached for his cell phone, looked at the screen and took the call.
Jensen watched him as his facial expression altered at every exchange of words.
Annoyance.
Anger.
Sadness.
Guilt.
He didn’t need to hear the whole conversation to know that Jared was talking with his father. It was perhaps odd that they hadn’t moved much during the phone call, Jared was still trapped between his legs and Jensen felt a comforting hand stroke his outer thigh. Jensen smiled. Jared wanted to reassure him that everything was ok, but he was the one who needed comfort.
Mr. Padalecki was once again disturbing their little heaven. His mother was getting used to seeing them together, perhaps for all the wrong reasons, but still she was trying to give Jared a chance. Especially now that she had been reassured that Jared had not been the reason Jensen had left Snyder in the first place. Jensen knew that although she wasn’t the perfect mother she was happy to see him happy. She was still scared but Jared had slowly won her over and Jensen was only afraid that he would never be able to do the same with Jared’s father.
Their last conversation had led him to believe that they had problems and similar arguments before. And although Jared reassured him that his father had never interfered directly in their previous relationship, Jensen wasn’t so sure. He had seen hatred that went beyond Snyder rivalry and superstition. He wasn’t surprised or displeased to see Jensen back, he was completely furious as if such thing should have never been possible.
Jensen kept such considerations to himself. He didn’t want to bother Jared without having anything more than suspicions. He didn’t like the man and that was enough to cloud his judgement. He knew that he could be unfairly wrong.
“I see that I managed to ruin the mood.” Jared’s voice woke Jensen from his thoughts.
“Sorry, I was just thinking.”
“It was my father, if you hadn’t noticed.” Jared moved away sitting next to him on the sofa and Jensen reluctantly let him go.
“I did.” Jensen studied Jared’s face looking for any clue about what was coming. “What did he want?”
“He’s forcing us to set a date for the wedding.” Jared sighed. “He’s calling a family meeting to officially transfer control of the bank accounts and lands to me as the new head of the family. In order to do that we have to announce an official date for the wedding.”
“When is this going to happen?” Jensen asked worried. “And what other members?”
“This weekend.” Jensen sighed at that answer and Jared frowned. “And he was talking mostly of my cousins and his brother. And maybe my grandmother will come from New York to meet you.”
“This weekend is pretty soon. We haven’t talked about a date yet.” Jensen stated carefully.
“He’s doing this on purpose. He knows we rushed the engagement because of the debt and he’s trying to force us into breaking it.” Jared reached for Jensen’s hand. “But I don’t want to. I’ve never been this happy before. I’ve never feel this complete… I want to make it official.”
“I feel the same.” Jensen smiled and squeezed Jared’s hand.
“So let’s just say… four months?” Jared searched Jensen’s face for an answer. “It’s time enough to prepare for the wedding and hopefully we’ll make our parents get along until then. What do you think?”
“Sounds perfect.” Jensen touched the engagement ring on Jared’s hand.
“I guess we’ll have to survive another party.” Jared frowned.
“I can’t wait.” Jensen rolled his eyes and fell against the sofa suddenly exhausted again.
Next chapter...