RPS (Jared/Jensen) After the memories are gone [10/18]
Listen to the soundtrack for this chapter! Just click play! (More information at the soundtrack post!)
Chapter Ten
…The pain was beyond intense.
He wanted to scream for help, but he was coughing and suffocating due to the blood in his mouth. He couldn’t see the face of the attackers but they were being merciless. Lying on the floor of the cemented street, Jensen hugged his legs against his chest, trying to suppress the pain but his vision was spinning and the pain was only increasing…
Jensen suddenly sat up in bed confused.
It was that dream again. He had been having it ever since they had moved into the cabin. Lately it was increasing in frequently. He’d dream it more than once a night.
He ran a hand through his sweat soaked hair and wiped the sweat from his face with the sleeve on his other arm. His breathing was returning to normal and Jensen closed his eyes trying to regain control.
“Jen?” Jared looked up from his pillow. “The dream again?”
“Yeah, it’s driving me crazy.” Jensen stood up and moved to the bathroom.
“How’re you feeling?” Jared had followed him.
“Tired, I can’t sleep properly like this.” Jensen washed his face as he spoke.
“Just take a pill like I told you. I’ll wake you up at lunch time once I’ve returned from the ranch.” Jared offered him a towel to dry his face.
“You know I hate taking drugs.” Jensen frowned.
“Stress is building up.” Jared hugged him close. “I feel terribly sorry, at least for me… just take the pill and rest for a day.”
“This is not your fault.” Jensen replied but he accepted the pill and the glass of water anyway. “It’s the stress of fitting into the wedding dress.”
“Don’t try to fool me.” But Jared was amused anyway. “Let’s just go to bed.”
“It’s just a stupid dream.” He reassured Jared for the tenth time that week.
But even Jensen could sense in his tone of voice that he wasn’t so sure.
“What do you think?” Jared whispered to him, while the saleswoman stood at the door.
“I’m not sure.” Jensen frowned.
Actually what he truly wanted to say was that he hated the house and that almost everything about it needed to be changed.
They’ve been searching for a house to buy for the last few days. Since the decision had been made so hastily, they lacked time to properly choose a good one. The small wooden cabin could only accommodate them for so long and they definitely needed to make a decision. The problem was that Jensen - and he suspected Jared as well - was unhappy with almost every single one of the houses they’ve seen so far. The few good ones were too old or too small for them and the rest was unacceptable.
“It’s terrible I know.” Jared whispered back.
Jared turned away and spoke with the woman quietly. Jensen stood looking at the horrible wallpaper on the living room walls. He wasn’t sure they were going to find something acceptable in Snyder. The community wasn’t that big and they were both used to a kind of living that it wasn’t common in this town.
“Come on, there’s a place I want you to see.” Jared surprised him and he looked confused at him, in search for answers.
“What?” Jensen asked.
“Just see it first. If you like it we’ll talk about it…” Jared told him while guiding him to the car.
Jensen was surprised that they had left the saleswoman at the last house. He wasn’t sure if Jared was feeling alright or if he was simply venting the frustration of not finding a good place. Either way, they didn’t drive for long, soon they parked the car and Jared got out.
“Where are we?” Jensen looked up at the house in front of them.
The house looked to be made of stone. Grey bricks were covering the walls and the windows were outlined by pastel granite. The three-storeyed house had three visible chimneys and was surrounded by a beautiful garden. The foursided roof was covered in old brown tiles designed in the shape of many triangles pointing to the sky. The house looked taken from the 19th century but it had been clearly preserved against the passage of time. It was in one word, magnificent.
“It’s beautiful.” Jensen murmured.
“Do you want to see the inside?” Jared showed him a key.
“Of course.” Jensen moved to the door impatiently. “Is it for sale?”
“Yes, it’s been for sale for many years.” Jared opened the door and Jensen followed him. “But nobody has the money to buy it.”
“It looks like it needs repairs.” Jensen looked inside fascinated. “But it’s amazing and it’s not too close to the centre of Snyder!”
“Unfortunately, there’s a catch.” Jared added carefully. “That was why I’ve been keeping this a last resource.”
“What?” Jensen turned away focusing his gaze on Jared.
“It used to belong to your family.” Jared waited before proceeding. “Your father sold it to a couple of rich tourists to pay some debts a few years ago. But they got tired of it quickly and have been trying to sell it ever since.”
“Are you telling me I used to live here?” Jensen asked confused.
“Yes.”
“Really?” Jensen smiled.
“Until you moved to Dallas this used to be your house.” Jared gestured around.
“That’s surprising.” Jensen wondered why his mother hadn’t told him.
“Your room was upstairs. There’s a tree outside, close to the window. I used to climb it and knock on the window to call you.” Jared pointed upstairs.
“Oh, my God.” Jensen felt a sudden headache with the strong flashbacks that were coming.
“Jen.” Jared held him close. “Are you ok?”
“I’m just…” Jensen shocked his head. “It was overwhelming. I was watching you knock on the window while you were speaking.”
“Is that normal?” Jared asked worried, still holding him close.
“No. I mean, it’s been a while since I felt this way.” Jensen took a deep breath. “This place is filled with memories. My brain is trying to retrieve them.”
“I knew this wasn’t such a good idea.” Jared started to walk them to the door. “We’ll find something else.”
“No. No.” Jensen stood still. “This is a good idea! It’s been a while since I had this amount of clear memory coming back to me. Maybe this place is the answer to my recovery. Imagine what living here could do to me.”
“Yes, but you weren’t looking so well a few seconds ago.” Jared observed him carefully.
“I like the house! The location is great and if it helps me regain my memories than it’s the perfect place!” Jensen stated excitedly.
“Your mum won’t be happy to know that we’re going to buy the old family house. And the memories can come at a high price. You were fainting on me, Jen!”
“Trust me, I can do this.” Jensen pleaded.
“You don’t need to.” Jared opened his arms in confusion. “We’ll find another house, I’m sure…”
“But I want to!” Jensen was angry. “Don’t you understand? I want those memories back, I want to see everything.”
“But Jen…” Jared tried to interrupt him.
“Of course you don’t understand! You know what happened, you remember it! You can’t understand how frustrating it is…” Jensen eyes watered. “How difficult it is to have the answer within yourself and not being able to reach for them!”
“I can’t let you do this.” Jared stated calmly.
“I don’t need your permission to do anything!” Jensen snapped.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” Jared looked sorry.
“I need to clear my head. You’re sounding too much like your father.” Jensen stormed away from the house.
Once outside, he looked at it once again and wondered just how much of this place was still a mystery for him. He had never heard of this house, he had never walked around these trees… But just as he reached the tall tree Jared had talked about, Jensen was forced to sit on the grass at the sudden amount of images that fill his head.
Precious memories were returning.
Next chapter...
Chapter Ten
…The pain was beyond intense.
He wanted to scream for help, but he was coughing and suffocating due to the blood in his mouth. He couldn’t see the face of the attackers but they were being merciless. Lying on the floor of the cemented street, Jensen hugged his legs against his chest, trying to suppress the pain but his vision was spinning and the pain was only increasing…
Jensen suddenly sat up in bed confused.
It was that dream again. He had been having it ever since they had moved into the cabin. Lately it was increasing in frequently. He’d dream it more than once a night.
He ran a hand through his sweat soaked hair and wiped the sweat from his face with the sleeve on his other arm. His breathing was returning to normal and Jensen closed his eyes trying to regain control.
“Jen?” Jared looked up from his pillow. “The dream again?”
“Yeah, it’s driving me crazy.” Jensen stood up and moved to the bathroom.
“How’re you feeling?” Jared had followed him.
“Tired, I can’t sleep properly like this.” Jensen washed his face as he spoke.
“Just take a pill like I told you. I’ll wake you up at lunch time once I’ve returned from the ranch.” Jared offered him a towel to dry his face.
“You know I hate taking drugs.” Jensen frowned.
“Stress is building up.” Jared hugged him close. “I feel terribly sorry, at least for me… just take the pill and rest for a day.”
“This is not your fault.” Jensen replied but he accepted the pill and the glass of water anyway. “It’s the stress of fitting into the wedding dress.”
“Don’t try to fool me.” But Jared was amused anyway. “Let’s just go to bed.”
“It’s just a stupid dream.” He reassured Jared for the tenth time that week.
But even Jensen could sense in his tone of voice that he wasn’t so sure.
“What do you think?” Jared whispered to him, while the saleswoman stood at the door.
“I’m not sure.” Jensen frowned.
Actually what he truly wanted to say was that he hated the house and that almost everything about it needed to be changed.
They’ve been searching for a house to buy for the last few days. Since the decision had been made so hastily, they lacked time to properly choose a good one. The small wooden cabin could only accommodate them for so long and they definitely needed to make a decision. The problem was that Jensen - and he suspected Jared as well - was unhappy with almost every single one of the houses they’ve seen so far. The few good ones were too old or too small for them and the rest was unacceptable.
“It’s terrible I know.” Jared whispered back.
Jared turned away and spoke with the woman quietly. Jensen stood looking at the horrible wallpaper on the living room walls. He wasn’t sure they were going to find something acceptable in Snyder. The community wasn’t that big and they were both used to a kind of living that it wasn’t common in this town.
“Come on, there’s a place I want you to see.” Jared surprised him and he looked confused at him, in search for answers.
“What?” Jensen asked.
“Just see it first. If you like it we’ll talk about it…” Jared told him while guiding him to the car.
Jensen was surprised that they had left the saleswoman at the last house. He wasn’t sure if Jared was feeling alright or if he was simply venting the frustration of not finding a good place. Either way, they didn’t drive for long, soon they parked the car and Jared got out.
“Where are we?” Jensen looked up at the house in front of them.
The house looked to be made of stone. Grey bricks were covering the walls and the windows were outlined by pastel granite. The three-storeyed house had three visible chimneys and was surrounded by a beautiful garden. The foursided roof was covered in old brown tiles designed in the shape of many triangles pointing to the sky. The house looked taken from the 19th century but it had been clearly preserved against the passage of time. It was in one word, magnificent.
“It’s beautiful.” Jensen murmured.
“Do you want to see the inside?” Jared showed him a key.
“Of course.” Jensen moved to the door impatiently. “Is it for sale?”
“Yes, it’s been for sale for many years.” Jared opened the door and Jensen followed him. “But nobody has the money to buy it.”
“It looks like it needs repairs.” Jensen looked inside fascinated. “But it’s amazing and it’s not too close to the centre of Snyder!”
“Unfortunately, there’s a catch.” Jared added carefully. “That was why I’ve been keeping this a last resource.”
“What?” Jensen turned away focusing his gaze on Jared.
“It used to belong to your family.” Jared waited before proceeding. “Your father sold it to a couple of rich tourists to pay some debts a few years ago. But they got tired of it quickly and have been trying to sell it ever since.”
“Are you telling me I used to live here?” Jensen asked confused.
“Yes.”
“Really?” Jensen smiled.
“Until you moved to Dallas this used to be your house.” Jared gestured around.
“That’s surprising.” Jensen wondered why his mother hadn’t told him.
“Your room was upstairs. There’s a tree outside, close to the window. I used to climb it and knock on the window to call you.” Jared pointed upstairs.
“Oh, my God.” Jensen felt a sudden headache with the strong flashbacks that were coming.
“Jen.” Jared held him close. “Are you ok?”
“I’m just…” Jensen shocked his head. “It was overwhelming. I was watching you knock on the window while you were speaking.”
“Is that normal?” Jared asked worried, still holding him close.
“No. I mean, it’s been a while since I felt this way.” Jensen took a deep breath. “This place is filled with memories. My brain is trying to retrieve them.”
“I knew this wasn’t such a good idea.” Jared started to walk them to the door. “We’ll find something else.”
“No. No.” Jensen stood still. “This is a good idea! It’s been a while since I had this amount of clear memory coming back to me. Maybe this place is the answer to my recovery. Imagine what living here could do to me.”
“Yes, but you weren’t looking so well a few seconds ago.” Jared observed him carefully.
“I like the house! The location is great and if it helps me regain my memories than it’s the perfect place!” Jensen stated excitedly.
“Your mum won’t be happy to know that we’re going to buy the old family house. And the memories can come at a high price. You were fainting on me, Jen!”
“Trust me, I can do this.” Jensen pleaded.
“You don’t need to.” Jared opened his arms in confusion. “We’ll find another house, I’m sure…”
“But I want to!” Jensen was angry. “Don’t you understand? I want those memories back, I want to see everything.”
“But Jen…” Jared tried to interrupt him.
“Of course you don’t understand! You know what happened, you remember it! You can’t understand how frustrating it is…” Jensen eyes watered. “How difficult it is to have the answer within yourself and not being able to reach for them!”
“I can’t let you do this.” Jared stated calmly.
“I don’t need your permission to do anything!” Jensen snapped.
“I didn’t mean it like that.” Jared looked sorry.
“I need to clear my head. You’re sounding too much like your father.” Jensen stormed away from the house.
Once outside, he looked at it once again and wondered just how much of this place was still a mystery for him. He had never heard of this house, he had never walked around these trees… But just as he reached the tall tree Jared had talked about, Jensen was forced to sit on the grass at the sudden amount of images that fill his head.
Precious memories were returning.
Next chapter...