RPS (Jared/Jensen) After the memories are gone [3/18]
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Chapter Three
Jensen paced around his studio. He didn’t know what to do.
It turned out that the horses appeared a few hours later, apparently a prank of some farmer’s kids. Jensen had felt no relief at all. He actually felt much worse. Not only was he still feeling bad for what he had said to Jared, now he felt stupid for insinuating his involvement in the robbery.
It was clear that this place had the capability of bringing up the worst in him. He couldn’t even believe that he had insinuated that Jared wanted to take advantage of their economical situation. He had been nothing but civil with him and Jensen must had sounded arrogant and full of himself.
He couldn’t stop thinking about Jared. The man intrigued him as much as he allured him. He felt more alive next to him than he ever felt in his life. Jared started a fire inside him and he would rather fight and scream than be indifferent to him. He had felt an instant attraction but lately he was sure there had to be much more. Certainly this had something to do with their past relationship, whatever that had been.
The flashbacks were clearly about them. Ant they weren’t kids on any of them. His mother had been wrong. After Jared’s mother died they didn’t remain friends, they had remain boyfriends. Jared had probably be the only serious relationship he had always had and that had to mean something.
He sighed loudly. He hated to be unfair and he wanted to apologise, he just wasn’t sure how he should do it. Jared probably didn’t want to see him ever again and he didn’t trust anyone to contact Jared for him. He needed to sort things out face to face. He needed to feel that he had done everything he could.
Jensen walked out of the room and out of the house in seconds. He called one of his men over and asked for the address of the Padalecki family. The guy didn’t even blink. He got the directions and the car keys in two minutes and shortly after he was driving to the place. He decided to act on impulse and do what his heart was telling him to, instead of overanalyzing every single aspect. He had been doing that since he arrived at Snyder and so far it hadn’t help him make the right decisions.
As soon as he saw the house, Jensen felt like changing his mind. The place was huge, surrounded by a never-ending green field. He drove through the iron gates and was promptly greeted by a woman wearing a uniform. The Padaleckis were indeed extremely rich.
“Good day, sir.” She looked at his face carefully. “Oh! The young Mr. Ackles. What can you possibly be doing here?”
“I’m here to speak with Jared Padalecki.” Jensen felt a little embarrassed.
“Really?” She looked almost scared.
“If you don’t mind…” Jensen urged her to help him.
“But of course. If you must…” She moved along the path leading him into the house. The walked down a short corridor ad she paused in front of the door.
“Here we are.” She paused frowning. “Behind this door, sir. He’s doing some paper work. Nowadays he does most of the work around the house.”
“Shouldn’t you announce me?” Jensen asked.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, sir.” She looked terrified by thought of doing such thing and Jensen was simply too confused to understand her actions.
He stood by the door as she walked away with short but quick paces. Forced to take action, Jensen took a deep breath, knocked twice on the door and opened it. Jared was indeed working, seated behind an old desk and surrounded by dozens of papers. Jensen noticed that he hadn’t shaved in a while and that his whole face froze when he saw him. Jensen felt a pain in his chest at the look the brown haired man gave him. He wanted to understand why Jared could affect him so.
“What are you doing here?” Jared’s tone was obvious, he was angry.
“I’ve come to apologise.” Jensen said bluntly.
“Why should I hear what you have to say?” Jared rose from his chair. “You didn’t give me much chance to speak the last time we talked. Actually, I’m not even sure if I want to see your face here.”
“I was a complete jerk the last time we talked…”Jared interrupted him.
“You were. You may not remember me, but that doesn’t change who I am in this town nowadays! I’ve never been so insulted in my entire life.” Jared glared at him. “You accused me and my family of robbery and even more absurd things.”
“There’s nothing I can say to justify what I did. But I’ve been under a lot of stress and when the horses disappeared I kind of lost it. I blamed you out of frustration… And my mum’s venomous prejudices didn’t help either.”
“Some of the things you said were damn right pejorative.” Jared was still gazing intensely at him.
“I know and you were nothing but friendly to me. The only person in this town who actually offered me his friendship… But I don’t trust anyone easily and I kept feeling you had to have a motive…” Jensen felt tears coming to his eyes, it was all too much.
“I have a motive. We used to be very close…” Jared voice was softer. “We made a promise.”
“A promise?” Jensen asked confused.
“It doesn’t matter anymore. You’ve lost your memory and now all those things are gone. You were right about something, we are strangers!”
“What promise?” Jensen repeated as Jared sat back in his chair. “What promise?”
“We promised that no matter what, we would always return to Snyder.” Jared chuckled and it sounded sadly painful. “We had plans about what we would do to this town, together. Even when you left, you promised me you would return. When I saw you again…”
“I had no idea.” Jensen murmured.
“You couldn’t know.” Jared eyes were distant; he was remembering what Jensen wished he could remember.
“Were…” Jensen hesitated. “Were we seriously involved?”
“Do you mean if I loved you? Yes. If we made any silly promises of love when you went away? No.” Jared paused and looked away. “We knew what your departure meant. But I promised I would still be your friend when you returned, I promised you I would always be here. And you promised that you would return.”
Jensen knew that Jared was deeply hurt. He truly couldn’t remember the love and promises he was referring to. Yet, Jensen couldn’t help but feel an echo of the emotions Jared was retelling. He felt Jared’s wound and wanted to reach for him. He finally understood the connection he had felt the first time he had laid his eyes on Jared Padalecki.
“Jared, I’m sorry.” Jensen was crying. “I didn’t know.”
“Great. So now not only my actions repulse you and fill you with suspicion, you also pity me.” Jared wasn’t looking at him yet.
“That’s not it. You have been absolutely amazing to me. I genuinely feel sorry about what happened and what I said to you. I like you.” Jensen took a deep breath. “I feel like I’ve lost my best friend and I’m only realizing it now.”
“I guess you did.” Jared sounded defeated.
“It doesn’t have to be that way. We can still be friends. We can still try…” Jensen didn’t have time to rationalize what he was feeling. He just knew that he didn’t want to lose Jared.
“For what? Why?” Jared finally looked at him. “You’re here to solve your family’s problems and then you’re back to Dallas. I know that now. I can see that there’s nothing keeping you here.”
“I… I want to.” Jensen retorted.
“That used to be enough for me. But we’re adults now.” Jared rose up from his chair again. “I’m not going to let you play with my feelings just because you want to.”
“What about my feelings?” Jensen asked grabbing Jared’s shoulder as he passed him by.
“Your feelings? What feelings?” Jared face was so close he could taste his breath.
And in almost instinctive gesture Jensen moved and brushed his lips against Jared’s. He didn’t want to fight, he didn’t want to explain his feelings, all he wanted was to be consumed by the fire that Jared had lit inside of him ever since they’ve met. He wanted to make sure he had at least one taste of what had been his life, of what his life could have been if he had never been in that tragic accident. He wanted to show Jared that although he couldn’t remember it, he could still feel part of it.
Jared seemed frozen underneath his touch, but passion seemed to rise in him, because a moment later he was kissing back most ardently. A kiss that tasted like home. It was a feeling Jensen hadn’t know since the accident.
He was still getting flashbacks. Confusing ones. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on the present.
“What are we doing?” Jared asked later, hugging him impossibly tight against him.
“There are stronger things than amnesia.” Jensen grabbed Jared’s hand and placed it against his heart. “It knows you. I don’t know how else to explain it.”
“There’s no way you can remember.” Jared rested his forehead against Jensen’s, crying openly now.
“I’ve been having flashbacks. Small ones. It’s difficult to explain but I keep seeing us together every time you’re near.” Jensen murmured. “I do like you, very much. I just couldn’t understand why and it got me confused and frustrated.”
They kissed again. Slowly and more gently this time. Jensen had never felt this way; this man that could drive him crazy could also appease him so easily. He felt powerless in Jared’s arms. Surrendering to the feelings he had never felt so intensely before.
“It drove me crazy and I almost drove you away. Please, please forgive me.” Jensen whispered.
“We need to take things slowly. There’s much that you don’t know yet.” Jared whispered back. “My father won’t be pleased with this.”
“Snyder rivalries?” Jensen asked, sighing.
“Mostly, yes. Also you need to think things through very carefully. You feel this way about me probably because of reminiscence of past memories. I want you to know me, the real me.”
“You haven’t seen me in years and yet you feel the same. Isn’t it the same?”
“I’ve never forgotten you.” Jared caressed his face. “You were my only true love and I want you to know that.”
Lost in each other’s arms they kissed one more time, forgetting for a moment everything and everyone that would be against them.
Next chapter...
Chapter Three
Jensen paced around his studio. He didn’t know what to do.
It turned out that the horses appeared a few hours later, apparently a prank of some farmer’s kids. Jensen had felt no relief at all. He actually felt much worse. Not only was he still feeling bad for what he had said to Jared, now he felt stupid for insinuating his involvement in the robbery.
It was clear that this place had the capability of bringing up the worst in him. He couldn’t even believe that he had insinuated that Jared wanted to take advantage of their economical situation. He had been nothing but civil with him and Jensen must had sounded arrogant and full of himself.
He couldn’t stop thinking about Jared. The man intrigued him as much as he allured him. He felt more alive next to him than he ever felt in his life. Jared started a fire inside him and he would rather fight and scream than be indifferent to him. He had felt an instant attraction but lately he was sure there had to be much more. Certainly this had something to do with their past relationship, whatever that had been.
The flashbacks were clearly about them. Ant they weren’t kids on any of them. His mother had been wrong. After Jared’s mother died they didn’t remain friends, they had remain boyfriends. Jared had probably be the only serious relationship he had always had and that had to mean something.
He sighed loudly. He hated to be unfair and he wanted to apologise, he just wasn’t sure how he should do it. Jared probably didn’t want to see him ever again and he didn’t trust anyone to contact Jared for him. He needed to sort things out face to face. He needed to feel that he had done everything he could.
Jensen walked out of the room and out of the house in seconds. He called one of his men over and asked for the address of the Padalecki family. The guy didn’t even blink. He got the directions and the car keys in two minutes and shortly after he was driving to the place. He decided to act on impulse and do what his heart was telling him to, instead of overanalyzing every single aspect. He had been doing that since he arrived at Snyder and so far it hadn’t help him make the right decisions.
As soon as he saw the house, Jensen felt like changing his mind. The place was huge, surrounded by a never-ending green field. He drove through the iron gates and was promptly greeted by a woman wearing a uniform. The Padaleckis were indeed extremely rich.
“Good day, sir.” She looked at his face carefully. “Oh! The young Mr. Ackles. What can you possibly be doing here?”
“I’m here to speak with Jared Padalecki.” Jensen felt a little embarrassed.
“Really?” She looked almost scared.
“If you don’t mind…” Jensen urged her to help him.
“But of course. If you must…” She moved along the path leading him into the house. The walked down a short corridor ad she paused in front of the door.
“Here we are.” She paused frowning. “Behind this door, sir. He’s doing some paper work. Nowadays he does most of the work around the house.”
“Shouldn’t you announce me?” Jensen asked.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, sir.” She looked terrified by thought of doing such thing and Jensen was simply too confused to understand her actions.
He stood by the door as she walked away with short but quick paces. Forced to take action, Jensen took a deep breath, knocked twice on the door and opened it. Jared was indeed working, seated behind an old desk and surrounded by dozens of papers. Jensen noticed that he hadn’t shaved in a while and that his whole face froze when he saw him. Jensen felt a pain in his chest at the look the brown haired man gave him. He wanted to understand why Jared could affect him so.
“What are you doing here?” Jared’s tone was obvious, he was angry.
“I’ve come to apologise.” Jensen said bluntly.
“Why should I hear what you have to say?” Jared rose from his chair. “You didn’t give me much chance to speak the last time we talked. Actually, I’m not even sure if I want to see your face here.”
“I was a complete jerk the last time we talked…”Jared interrupted him.
“You were. You may not remember me, but that doesn’t change who I am in this town nowadays! I’ve never been so insulted in my entire life.” Jared glared at him. “You accused me and my family of robbery and even more absurd things.”
“There’s nothing I can say to justify what I did. But I’ve been under a lot of stress and when the horses disappeared I kind of lost it. I blamed you out of frustration… And my mum’s venomous prejudices didn’t help either.”
“Some of the things you said were damn right pejorative.” Jared was still gazing intensely at him.
“I know and you were nothing but friendly to me. The only person in this town who actually offered me his friendship… But I don’t trust anyone easily and I kept feeling you had to have a motive…” Jensen felt tears coming to his eyes, it was all too much.
“I have a motive. We used to be very close…” Jared voice was softer. “We made a promise.”
“A promise?” Jensen asked confused.
“It doesn’t matter anymore. You’ve lost your memory and now all those things are gone. You were right about something, we are strangers!”
“What promise?” Jensen repeated as Jared sat back in his chair. “What promise?”
“We promised that no matter what, we would always return to Snyder.” Jared chuckled and it sounded sadly painful. “We had plans about what we would do to this town, together. Even when you left, you promised me you would return. When I saw you again…”
“I had no idea.” Jensen murmured.
“You couldn’t know.” Jared eyes were distant; he was remembering what Jensen wished he could remember.
“Were…” Jensen hesitated. “Were we seriously involved?”
“Do you mean if I loved you? Yes. If we made any silly promises of love when you went away? No.” Jared paused and looked away. “We knew what your departure meant. But I promised I would still be your friend when you returned, I promised you I would always be here. And you promised that you would return.”
Jensen knew that Jared was deeply hurt. He truly couldn’t remember the love and promises he was referring to. Yet, Jensen couldn’t help but feel an echo of the emotions Jared was retelling. He felt Jared’s wound and wanted to reach for him. He finally understood the connection he had felt the first time he had laid his eyes on Jared Padalecki.
“Jared, I’m sorry.” Jensen was crying. “I didn’t know.”
“Great. So now not only my actions repulse you and fill you with suspicion, you also pity me.” Jared wasn’t looking at him yet.
“That’s not it. You have been absolutely amazing to me. I genuinely feel sorry about what happened and what I said to you. I like you.” Jensen took a deep breath. “I feel like I’ve lost my best friend and I’m only realizing it now.”
“I guess you did.” Jared sounded defeated.
“It doesn’t have to be that way. We can still be friends. We can still try…” Jensen didn’t have time to rationalize what he was feeling. He just knew that he didn’t want to lose Jared.
“For what? Why?” Jared finally looked at him. “You’re here to solve your family’s problems and then you’re back to Dallas. I know that now. I can see that there’s nothing keeping you here.”
“I… I want to.” Jensen retorted.
“That used to be enough for me. But we’re adults now.” Jared rose up from his chair again. “I’m not going to let you play with my feelings just because you want to.”
“What about my feelings?” Jensen asked grabbing Jared’s shoulder as he passed him by.
“Your feelings? What feelings?” Jared face was so close he could taste his breath.
And in almost instinctive gesture Jensen moved and brushed his lips against Jared’s. He didn’t want to fight, he didn’t want to explain his feelings, all he wanted was to be consumed by the fire that Jared had lit inside of him ever since they’ve met. He wanted to make sure he had at least one taste of what had been his life, of what his life could have been if he had never been in that tragic accident. He wanted to show Jared that although he couldn’t remember it, he could still feel part of it.
Jared seemed frozen underneath his touch, but passion seemed to rise in him, because a moment later he was kissing back most ardently. A kiss that tasted like home. It was a feeling Jensen hadn’t know since the accident.
He was still getting flashbacks. Confusing ones. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on the present.
“What are we doing?” Jared asked later, hugging him impossibly tight against him.
“There are stronger things than amnesia.” Jensen grabbed Jared’s hand and placed it against his heart. “It knows you. I don’t know how else to explain it.”
“There’s no way you can remember.” Jared rested his forehead against Jensen’s, crying openly now.
“I’ve been having flashbacks. Small ones. It’s difficult to explain but I keep seeing us together every time you’re near.” Jensen murmured. “I do like you, very much. I just couldn’t understand why and it got me confused and frustrated.”
They kissed again. Slowly and more gently this time. Jensen had never felt this way; this man that could drive him crazy could also appease him so easily. He felt powerless in Jared’s arms. Surrendering to the feelings he had never felt so intensely before.
“It drove me crazy and I almost drove you away. Please, please forgive me.” Jensen whispered.
“We need to take things slowly. There’s much that you don’t know yet.” Jared whispered back. “My father won’t be pleased with this.”
“Snyder rivalries?” Jensen asked, sighing.
“Mostly, yes. Also you need to think things through very carefully. You feel this way about me probably because of reminiscence of past memories. I want you to know me, the real me.”
“You haven’t seen me in years and yet you feel the same. Isn’t it the same?”
“I’ve never forgotten you.” Jared caressed his face. “You were my only true love and I want you to know that.”
Lost in each other’s arms they kissed one more time, forgetting for a moment everything and everyone that would be against them.
Next chapter...