Fic: Unusual Punishment(7/??, PG-13)
Title: Unusual Punishment
Author: Kristi
Pairing: hints of Lita/Cena
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone used.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A tempermental redhead, the WWE champion, the self proclaimed Legend Killer, and a short high flying luchador. What does this spell? Nothing special until the four are forced to drive across the country as a punishment. The bad thing Christmas is coming.
Spoilers: December '05.
Warnings: I say f*ck once or twice in here, which by normal standards let me keep the PG-13 rating unless I add a third use of it, haha. Sexual innuedo in a later chapter.
Note: Prepare for a silly story.
Chapter Seven - Lost?
Yet again the driver of the SUV toting four of WWE’s finest found himself in silence. They’d been on the road for a good six hours, making the current time 6 p.m. John sighed as he glared out the window, being stuck in bumper to bumper traffic was something he really despised. He leaned forward on the steering wheel and glanced at the other occupants. Randy had again fallen asleep. The Legend Killer’s mouth opened slightly and John could swear he saw faint traces of drool on the window. With a smile the WWE champion filed that bit of information away for later uses of humiliation for the younger superstar.
John turned slightly to glance at the two occupying the back. The redhead had her eyes closed but he knew she wasn’t asleep. The diva’s head bobbing to the music playing from her cd player. Rey offered a smile to John and removed his head phones to talk.
“What’s up?”
John snorted, “Man we’ve been in this car for way to long. I wanna get out.”
Rey rolled his eyes, “Well you might want to inch us up hermano. The cars are moving slowly.”
John returned his attention to the road and like Rey had said there was now a few good inches between the Mexican’s SUV and the Toyota in front of them.
“The next exit ramp I see, we’re takin’ it.” John stated.
Worry crossed Rey’s face. “If we do that...”
“Yeah, yeah I know. But this is a pain in the ass and I don’t feel like drivin’ the rest of the way. So what if we miss a show. I don’t got a match or anythin’ I just had to do a promo.”
“Aren’t you lucky?” Rey said sarcastically as the car moved a few more inches. “Have you forgotten that you’re not alone on this Trip from Hell? You have me, Orton and Red. What’s to say we don’t have matches.”
Blue eyes rolled, “I doubt the hellcat has any match. She just has to be the eye candy for that ass Edge. And we all know how much she loves doin’ that. Orton wouldn’t care, I know him. He’d make up a good excuse for why we didn’t make it.”
Rey shrugged even though he knew John wasn’t looking at him, “Whatever. Just keep me out of the fire when Li-Li decides to kick your ass for costing her job.”
“I’m not gonna cost her, her job.” John mumbled as he cautiously looked at the redhead from the rearview mirror. She remained engrossed with her music.
Rey laughed, “Right...she’s still mad about what happened you know.”
John snorted, “She still blamin’ me for this mess? It ain’t my fault the bastard tried to hit on her. I just stood up for her and I get kicked in the ass for being my good hearted self.”
Rey laughed and earned a glare from the 28-year-old. “Just stood up for her? John you claimed she was your girlfriend, got the man mad, started a fight, broke three tables and somehow dragged me and Orton into it. Oh! And let‘s not forget it was you who...”
John smiled at the memory as Rey continued to rattle off what had happened.
\_/Flashback...The Cause of the whole mess\_/
It was two days before the superstars of the WWE had to go to the Staples Center for yet another show. And tonight was one of the few nights a few of those superstars decided to hit the club scene. John Cena, Lita, Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton, Mickie James, Trish Stratus, Dave Batista, Victoria, Melina, Chris Masters and Lilian Garcia were among those making this fun filled trip. Although a few were more then a bit reluctant.
The evening had started out smoothly or as smoothly as it could with the said group of superstars. Trish, Mickie, Melina and Lilian had been more then ready to hit the dance floor upon arrival, trying to drag along the reluctant forms of Lita and Victoria. The men remained parked in the booths the large group had managed to grab a hold of and get their drinks. Four drinks and two body shots later, the divas were more then just a little bit tipsy and while a few of the men within the group were still somber for driving purposes their were quite a few reluctant to leave the club.
Tyson, Hunter and Dave had managed to sort most of the drunken bodies out of the club and safely into the cars. John being the designated driver for his ‘group’ was stuck with the privilege of trying to herd Mickie James, Trish, Randy, Rey and Lita to the SUV he rented. Granted the task didn’t seem as hard as it sounded. But when three very much drunk divas’ begin to believe they were pole dancers, we have problems.
It didn’t help Cena’s case the Randy and Rey were also drunk, although they weren’t as bad the divas were but still. Somehow the young champion had managed to gain some help from Randy and Rey in retrieving the divas from the poles. This task seemed impossible as the three divas giggled and dodged hands whenever one of the superstars tried to grab her.
The club owner wasn’t the least bit happy with the happenings and demanded for the six to leave. Rey and Randy had finally gotten a hold of Trish and Mickie, very much dragging the divas to the car and locking them inside so they wouldn’t get into any more trouble before heading back inside to find John. And what they had come back to was quiet hilarious, at least in their eyes.
John was currently at the receiving end of a lap dance courtesy of one smiling redheaded diva. Randy smiled devilishly as Rey shook his head.
“Cena you’re supposed to be getting Red to the car not encouraging her.” Rey stated from his position away from the two. Lita giggled and John sent a pointed glare in the direction of the short luchador.
“Hey man, I ain’t able to control how the women feel ‘bout me.” He shrugged, a smirk appearing on his face. “What can I say? They find me irresistible. I mean seriously, even pansy boy is being turned on over there.”
Rey turned around and tried not to laugh a shocked Randy. The young man glaring daggers through the WWE champion.
“You know John...if you’re so irresistible then why’d she just run away from you?” Randy pointed a distance away from them.
John blinked and looked towards the pointed direction. Sure enough Lita had managed to sneak off his lap and into the sea of people.
“Dammit now I hafta find her again. The woman’s more trouble then she’s worth.”
With those words, John pushed through the crowded club with Randy and Rey trailing not that far behind. It wasn’t long before the trio found the redhead being felt up by a random club goer. John was quick to step up pulling the drunken Lita away.
“Hey man I’m sorry but she’s spoken for.”
Lita giggled, clenching tightly to John’s shirt. “No I’m not silly.” She tapped John’s nose with her index finger. “But if you want to...” The diva wobbled slightly and John tightened his hold on her, ignoring Randy’s snickering from behind him.
“Aye dios miyo, ella está loca.” Rey mumbled. (Oh my God, she is crazy.)
The man smirked before reaching out for the redhead. “Ya heard her. She isn’t taken, so I’ll be taking the chick back.”
Blue eyes rolled and John detached the redhead from his shirt and handed her over to Randy. “I told ya she’s spoken for. My girl just had one to many drinks so lay off.”
“I think that’s a bunch of bullshit.” The man stepped closer to John. John now able to smell the alcohol on the other mans breath.
John made a face, “Bro ya need a serious tic-tac.” A hand waved in front of his face to emphasis his point.
“You smartass punk.” The man pushed John forward. The dark haired wrestler stared at the floor a moment and clicked his tongue before his fist came flying forwards.
Punches and kicks were thrown. John was tossed back against a table, causing the wooden table to break under his weight. However, John got his retribution by flipping the other man into a nearby table. Of course this wasn’t the WWE so John was putting his street fighting skills to good use. Another table had been broken when both men fumbled and crashed onto it. They grappled and the two had even attempted to strangle the other.
Meanwhile, Randy had his hands full with trying to keep the very much drunken redhead from stripping. Her halter top already lost. She giggled when the tall superstar wrapped his arms tightly around her to pin her arms to her side. Rey was left with the task of trying to break up the fight. This good deed only managed to get him dragged into the mess when one of the other man’s friends decided to join the fry.
It hadn’t been long before the cops arrived and took the four fighting men into custody for disturbing the peace. Lita was then taken in for inappropriate exposure while Randy was taken in for association.
\_/End Flashback\_/
John couldn’t help but laugh. That had actually been one of his funnier adventures at a club and something he’d never forget.
“It’s snowing.” Lita stated from the back seat.
Blue eyes blinked as he finally noticed the white flakes falling on the windshield. “Ya ain’t lyin’.”
Lita rolled her eyes as she removed her headphones. “Why would I be lying? What were you thinking about?”
John shrugged, “Nothin’ important.”
“Yeah right, that’s why you had this weird smile on you’re face.”
“Since when has it been a sin to smile?” John snapped.
Lita laughed, “Calm down.”
Again John blinked, “What no smart comeback?”
“I’m in a good mood.” Lita glanced over at Rey as the luchador pulled out a notepad from the pocket in front of him. The two beginning a game of Tic-Tac Toe.
“What time is it?” Rey asked as he placed an X in the desired position.
“6:30.”
“John...” Lita asked as she looked around. “Where are we?”
“Uh...” The driver remained quiet. He hadn’t really been paying attention to where he had been traveling. Randy had been appointed the navigator, it was his job to feed John with the directions. And well after Randy had fallen asleep John just decided to go with instinct. “I dunno?”
Lita and Rey blinked. Rey watched silently knowing that the redhead was going to blow up. She looked around and read off one of the signs.
“Detroit, Michigan next left...” Lita took a deep breathe.
John flinched.
“JOHN!”
Randy jumped awake and blinked sleepily. “Wha?”
Lita exclaimed, “You got us lost?!”
Author: Kristi
Pairing: hints of Lita/Cena
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone used.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A tempermental redhead, the WWE champion, the self proclaimed Legend Killer, and a short high flying luchador. What does this spell? Nothing special until the four are forced to drive across the country as a punishment. The bad thing Christmas is coming.
Spoilers: December '05.
Warnings: I say f*ck once or twice in here, which by normal standards let me keep the PG-13 rating unless I add a third use of it, haha. Sexual innuedo in a later chapter.
Note: Prepare for a silly story.
Chapter Seven - Lost?
Yet again the driver of the SUV toting four of WWE’s finest found himself in silence. They’d been on the road for a good six hours, making the current time 6 p.m. John sighed as he glared out the window, being stuck in bumper to bumper traffic was something he really despised. He leaned forward on the steering wheel and glanced at the other occupants. Randy had again fallen asleep. The Legend Killer’s mouth opened slightly and John could swear he saw faint traces of drool on the window. With a smile the WWE champion filed that bit of information away for later uses of humiliation for the younger superstar.
John turned slightly to glance at the two occupying the back. The redhead had her eyes closed but he knew she wasn’t asleep. The diva’s head bobbing to the music playing from her cd player. Rey offered a smile to John and removed his head phones to talk.
“What’s up?”
John snorted, “Man we’ve been in this car for way to long. I wanna get out.”
Rey rolled his eyes, “Well you might want to inch us up hermano. The cars are moving slowly.”
John returned his attention to the road and like Rey had said there was now a few good inches between the Mexican’s SUV and the Toyota in front of them.
“The next exit ramp I see, we’re takin’ it.” John stated.
Worry crossed Rey’s face. “If we do that...”
“Yeah, yeah I know. But this is a pain in the ass and I don’t feel like drivin’ the rest of the way. So what if we miss a show. I don’t got a match or anythin’ I just had to do a promo.”
“Aren’t you lucky?” Rey said sarcastically as the car moved a few more inches. “Have you forgotten that you’re not alone on this Trip from Hell? You have me, Orton and Red. What’s to say we don’t have matches.”
Blue eyes rolled, “I doubt the hellcat has any match. She just has to be the eye candy for that ass Edge. And we all know how much she loves doin’ that. Orton wouldn’t care, I know him. He’d make up a good excuse for why we didn’t make it.”
Rey shrugged even though he knew John wasn’t looking at him, “Whatever. Just keep me out of the fire when Li-Li decides to kick your ass for costing her job.”
“I’m not gonna cost her, her job.” John mumbled as he cautiously looked at the redhead from the rearview mirror. She remained engrossed with her music.
Rey laughed, “Right...she’s still mad about what happened you know.”
John snorted, “She still blamin’ me for this mess? It ain’t my fault the bastard tried to hit on her. I just stood up for her and I get kicked in the ass for being my good hearted self.”
Rey laughed and earned a glare from the 28-year-old. “Just stood up for her? John you claimed she was your girlfriend, got the man mad, started a fight, broke three tables and somehow dragged me and Orton into it. Oh! And let‘s not forget it was you who...”
John smiled at the memory as Rey continued to rattle off what had happened.
\_/Flashback...The Cause of the whole mess\_/
It was two days before the superstars of the WWE had to go to the Staples Center for yet another show. And tonight was one of the few nights a few of those superstars decided to hit the club scene. John Cena, Lita, Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton, Mickie James, Trish Stratus, Dave Batista, Victoria, Melina, Chris Masters and Lilian Garcia were among those making this fun filled trip. Although a few were more then a bit reluctant.
The evening had started out smoothly or as smoothly as it could with the said group of superstars. Trish, Mickie, Melina and Lilian had been more then ready to hit the dance floor upon arrival, trying to drag along the reluctant forms of Lita and Victoria. The men remained parked in the booths the large group had managed to grab a hold of and get their drinks. Four drinks and two body shots later, the divas were more then just a little bit tipsy and while a few of the men within the group were still somber for driving purposes their were quite a few reluctant to leave the club.
Tyson, Hunter and Dave had managed to sort most of the drunken bodies out of the club and safely into the cars. John being the designated driver for his ‘group’ was stuck with the privilege of trying to herd Mickie James, Trish, Randy, Rey and Lita to the SUV he rented. Granted the task didn’t seem as hard as it sounded. But when three very much drunk divas’ begin to believe they were pole dancers, we have problems.
It didn’t help Cena’s case the Randy and Rey were also drunk, although they weren’t as bad the divas were but still. Somehow the young champion had managed to gain some help from Randy and Rey in retrieving the divas from the poles. This task seemed impossible as the three divas giggled and dodged hands whenever one of the superstars tried to grab her.
The club owner wasn’t the least bit happy with the happenings and demanded for the six to leave. Rey and Randy had finally gotten a hold of Trish and Mickie, very much dragging the divas to the car and locking them inside so they wouldn’t get into any more trouble before heading back inside to find John. And what they had come back to was quiet hilarious, at least in their eyes.
John was currently at the receiving end of a lap dance courtesy of one smiling redheaded diva. Randy smiled devilishly as Rey shook his head.
“Cena you’re supposed to be getting Red to the car not encouraging her.” Rey stated from his position away from the two. Lita giggled and John sent a pointed glare in the direction of the short luchador.
“Hey man, I ain’t able to control how the women feel ‘bout me.” He shrugged, a smirk appearing on his face. “What can I say? They find me irresistible. I mean seriously, even pansy boy is being turned on over there.”
Rey turned around and tried not to laugh a shocked Randy. The young man glaring daggers through the WWE champion.
“You know John...if you’re so irresistible then why’d she just run away from you?” Randy pointed a distance away from them.
John blinked and looked towards the pointed direction. Sure enough Lita had managed to sneak off his lap and into the sea of people.
“Dammit now I hafta find her again. The woman’s more trouble then she’s worth.”
With those words, John pushed through the crowded club with Randy and Rey trailing not that far behind. It wasn’t long before the trio found the redhead being felt up by a random club goer. John was quick to step up pulling the drunken Lita away.
“Hey man I’m sorry but she’s spoken for.”
Lita giggled, clenching tightly to John’s shirt. “No I’m not silly.” She tapped John’s nose with her index finger. “But if you want to...” The diva wobbled slightly and John tightened his hold on her, ignoring Randy’s snickering from behind him.
“Aye dios miyo, ella está loca.” Rey mumbled. (Oh my God, she is crazy.)
The man smirked before reaching out for the redhead. “Ya heard her. She isn’t taken, so I’ll be taking the chick back.”
Blue eyes rolled and John detached the redhead from his shirt and handed her over to Randy. “I told ya she’s spoken for. My girl just had one to many drinks so lay off.”
“I think that’s a bunch of bullshit.” The man stepped closer to John. John now able to smell the alcohol on the other mans breath.
John made a face, “Bro ya need a serious tic-tac.” A hand waved in front of his face to emphasis his point.
“You smartass punk.” The man pushed John forward. The dark haired wrestler stared at the floor a moment and clicked his tongue before his fist came flying forwards.
Punches and kicks were thrown. John was tossed back against a table, causing the wooden table to break under his weight. However, John got his retribution by flipping the other man into a nearby table. Of course this wasn’t the WWE so John was putting his street fighting skills to good use. Another table had been broken when both men fumbled and crashed onto it. They grappled and the two had even attempted to strangle the other.
Meanwhile, Randy had his hands full with trying to keep the very much drunken redhead from stripping. Her halter top already lost. She giggled when the tall superstar wrapped his arms tightly around her to pin her arms to her side. Rey was left with the task of trying to break up the fight. This good deed only managed to get him dragged into the mess when one of the other man’s friends decided to join the fry.
It hadn’t been long before the cops arrived and took the four fighting men into custody for disturbing the peace. Lita was then taken in for inappropriate exposure while Randy was taken in for association.
\_/End Flashback\_/
John couldn’t help but laugh. That had actually been one of his funnier adventures at a club and something he’d never forget.
“It’s snowing.” Lita stated from the back seat.
Blue eyes blinked as he finally noticed the white flakes falling on the windshield. “Ya ain’t lyin’.”
Lita rolled her eyes as she removed her headphones. “Why would I be lying? What were you thinking about?”
John shrugged, “Nothin’ important.”
“Yeah right, that’s why you had this weird smile on you’re face.”
“Since when has it been a sin to smile?” John snapped.
Lita laughed, “Calm down.”
Again John blinked, “What no smart comeback?”
“I’m in a good mood.” Lita glanced over at Rey as the luchador pulled out a notepad from the pocket in front of him. The two beginning a game of Tic-Tac Toe.
“What time is it?” Rey asked as he placed an X in the desired position.
“6:30.”
“John...” Lita asked as she looked around. “Where are we?”
“Uh...” The driver remained quiet. He hadn’t really been paying attention to where he had been traveling. Randy had been appointed the navigator, it was his job to feed John with the directions. And well after Randy had fallen asleep John just decided to go with instinct. “I dunno?”
Lita and Rey blinked. Rey watched silently knowing that the redhead was going to blow up. She looked around and read off one of the signs.
“Detroit, Michigan next left...” Lita took a deep breathe.
John flinched.
“JOHN!”
Randy jumped awake and blinked sleepily. “Wha?”
Lita exclaimed, “You got us lost?!”