My Review of Twilight - Or Why Edward is a Creepy Stalker
This is cross posted from Facebook, but I really wanted to share it with everyone on Live Journal too. :)
A few nights a go I decided to venture where few sane people have gone before; I willingly sat down and watched Twilight. The reason for this was to mainly make fun of the film and laugh at the crap-tastic dialogue. However, I discovered that there is much that needs to be said about the disturbing messages that this film is sending out to its audience.
“I'd never given much thought to how I would die... But dying in the place of someone I love seems like a good way to go.” This is the first line of the film, spoken by the protagonist Bella Swan. I am automatically put off by this line, due to the fact that I believe she is referring to her true love, Edward. That turns out not to be the case, as she is actually talking about someone else. However, the notion of a seventeen year old girl who is willing to end her life so suddenly does not seem like the greatest message to be sending out to an audience mainly comprised of teenage girls.
Bella, the films “heroine,” is presented as a weak, frail thing. She is constantly putting herself down; she states that she can’t dance, she can’t play sports, and she’s constantly tripping over her own two feet. This storyline just begs for a knight in shining armor to sweep in and rescue the fair damsel in distress. It doesn’t help matters when the fierce knight is actually contributing to the damsel’s already poor self esteem issues. Throughout the film I counted a number of times where Edward was extremely rude and condescending towards Bella.
Bella: “I can’t dance.”
Edward: “Well, I could always make you”
Edward: “Can’t you just thank me and get over it?” (When Bella is questioning Edward over how he was able to stop a car from crashing into her)
Edward: “Could you at least watch where you walk!” (After Bella nearly trips and stumbles and Edward catches her)
Later on in the film it is finally reviled to Bella that Edward is, in fact, a vampire. Although, not any type of vampire that I’ve ever heard of or seen before. I think one of my biggest problems with this series is that Stephanie Meyer took vampire lore and spat in its face. Why is it that Edward can’t go into the sun? What will happen to him if he does? He won’t burst into flames like a normal vampire would. No, he’ll fucking sparkle like a giant disco ball. Oohh, I’m really scared now! “This is the skin of a killer!” he says. A killer of what, exactly? Because, frankly, I don’t see him striking fear in to anyone’s heart. When Edward reveals his deep, dark secret to Bella, this is the reaction we get out of her:
Edward: “I've killed people before.”
Bella: “It doesn’t matter.”
Edward: “I wanted to kill you at first. I've never wanted a human's blood so much, before.”
Bella: “I trust you.”
Really? You trust him? That’s what you get out of all of that? Alright girls, listen up, when a potential love interest admits to killing hundreds of people (and the possibility of yourself) you must immediately let down your guard and let him into your heart. It’s what Jesus would do.
Bella: “About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him, and I didn't know how dominate that part might be, that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.”
The last part of that line had me both laughing hysterically and cringing for humanity. You’re “unconditionally” and “irrevocably” in love with him? After, what, a week? Than it really must be twue wove! Related to that quote, my viewing partner for the evening, Alex Wilkins, brought up a valid point that was stated some time before Bella’s previous line:
Edward: “I'm the world's most dangerous predator. Everything about me invites you in. My voice, my face, even my smell.”
With that in mind, how do we know if Bella is actually in love with Edward, or if she’s simply under some vampire spell that he’s putting off to lure in prey? I mean the man says it right there! It’s something to make you think.
One of the more disturbing scenes in this film is where Bella wakes up to find Edward standing in the corner of her room.
Bella: “How did you get in here?”
Edward: “The window.”
Bella: “Do you do this a lot? “
Edward: “Just the past couple of months. I like watching you sleep. I find it fascinating.”
Well, I’m glad you fine her nocturnal habits so stimulating. I’m extremely shocked by how many viewers find this “adorable.” I’m sorry, but if I woke up to find a dark figure hovering in the corner of my room I would be going for the baseball bat under the bed, not stopping to make out with the guy. Yes, that is really what she does with him. And after Edward has to stop himself from “losing control” he proclaims:
Edward: “I hate you for making me want you so much.”
Yes, because it is always the woman’s fault. Remember that girls, if a man want’s to drain your body dry of blood and/or have sex with you, you should always let him.
In conclusion, this film has only solidified the fact that I fear for humanity's well being. The "love" between Edward and Bella is not healthy, safe, or normal. Women around the world should not be clamoring for the same ideals that these two fictional characters hold for one another. Edward is possessive, controlling, and manipulative towards Bella, and those are not things that viewers should be looking for in their ideal relationship.
Finally, I leave you with one of Edward Cullen’s personalized pick up lines. It’s guaranteed to make you unstoppable with the ladies:
Edward: “Your scent, it's like a drug to me. You're like my own personal brand of heroin.”
A few nights a go I decided to venture where few sane people have gone before; I willingly sat down and watched Twilight. The reason for this was to mainly make fun of the film and laugh at the crap-tastic dialogue. However, I discovered that there is much that needs to be said about the disturbing messages that this film is sending out to its audience.
“I'd never given much thought to how I would die... But dying in the place of someone I love seems like a good way to go.” This is the first line of the film, spoken by the protagonist Bella Swan. I am automatically put off by this line, due to the fact that I believe she is referring to her true love, Edward. That turns out not to be the case, as she is actually talking about someone else. However, the notion of a seventeen year old girl who is willing to end her life so suddenly does not seem like the greatest message to be sending out to an audience mainly comprised of teenage girls.
Bella, the films “heroine,” is presented as a weak, frail thing. She is constantly putting herself down; she states that she can’t dance, she can’t play sports, and she’s constantly tripping over her own two feet. This storyline just begs for a knight in shining armor to sweep in and rescue the fair damsel in distress. It doesn’t help matters when the fierce knight is actually contributing to the damsel’s already poor self esteem issues. Throughout the film I counted a number of times where Edward was extremely rude and condescending towards Bella.
Bella: “I can’t dance.”
Edward: “Well, I could always make you”
Edward: “Can’t you just thank me and get over it?” (When Bella is questioning Edward over how he was able to stop a car from crashing into her)
Edward: “Could you at least watch where you walk!” (After Bella nearly trips and stumbles and Edward catches her)
Later on in the film it is finally reviled to Bella that Edward is, in fact, a vampire. Although, not any type of vampire that I’ve ever heard of or seen before. I think one of my biggest problems with this series is that Stephanie Meyer took vampire lore and spat in its face. Why is it that Edward can’t go into the sun? What will happen to him if he does? He won’t burst into flames like a normal vampire would. No, he’ll fucking sparkle like a giant disco ball. Oohh, I’m really scared now! “This is the skin of a killer!” he says. A killer of what, exactly? Because, frankly, I don’t see him striking fear in to anyone’s heart. When Edward reveals his deep, dark secret to Bella, this is the reaction we get out of her:
Edward: “I've killed people before.”
Bella: “It doesn’t matter.”
Edward: “I wanted to kill you at first. I've never wanted a human's blood so much, before.”
Bella: “I trust you.”
Really? You trust him? That’s what you get out of all of that? Alright girls, listen up, when a potential love interest admits to killing hundreds of people (and the possibility of yourself) you must immediately let down your guard and let him into your heart. It’s what Jesus would do.
Bella: “About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him, and I didn't know how dominate that part might be, that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.”
The last part of that line had me both laughing hysterically and cringing for humanity. You’re “unconditionally” and “irrevocably” in love with him? After, what, a week? Than it really must be twue wove! Related to that quote, my viewing partner for the evening, Alex Wilkins, brought up a valid point that was stated some time before Bella’s previous line:
Edward: “I'm the world's most dangerous predator. Everything about me invites you in. My voice, my face, even my smell.”
With that in mind, how do we know if Bella is actually in love with Edward, or if she’s simply under some vampire spell that he’s putting off to lure in prey? I mean the man says it right there! It’s something to make you think.
One of the more disturbing scenes in this film is where Bella wakes up to find Edward standing in the corner of her room.
Bella: “How did you get in here?”
Edward: “The window.”
Bella: “Do you do this a lot? “
Edward: “Just the past couple of months. I like watching you sleep. I find it fascinating.”
Well, I’m glad you fine her nocturnal habits so stimulating. I’m extremely shocked by how many viewers find this “adorable.” I’m sorry, but if I woke up to find a dark figure hovering in the corner of my room I would be going for the baseball bat under the bed, not stopping to make out with the guy. Yes, that is really what she does with him. And after Edward has to stop himself from “losing control” he proclaims:
Edward: “I hate you for making me want you so much.”
Yes, because it is always the woman’s fault. Remember that girls, if a man want’s to drain your body dry of blood and/or have sex with you, you should always let him.
In conclusion, this film has only solidified the fact that I fear for humanity's well being. The "love" between Edward and Bella is not healthy, safe, or normal. Women around the world should not be clamoring for the same ideals that these two fictional characters hold for one another. Edward is possessive, controlling, and manipulative towards Bella, and those are not things that viewers should be looking for in their ideal relationship.
Finally, I leave you with one of Edward Cullen’s personalized pick up lines. It’s guaranteed to make you unstoppable with the ladies:
Edward: “Your scent, it's like a drug to me. You're like my own personal brand of heroin.”