Canon-based one-shot.
Title: Negative Space
Author: lit_luminary
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Wilson, Chase; implications of unrequited House/Wilson.
Summary: House’s singular focus on Cuddy has left gaps in both their lives.
I. Wilson
Wilson should never have kicked House out of the condo.
He keeps coming back to that day, replaying it in his memory, knowing now what a mistake he’d made. If he hadn’t shown House that he’d only be there if the latest lover allowed it, would he still have a place in House’s life?
If he’d checked on House in the wake of the crane collapse-when he’d known something had to be wrong-if he hadn’t left it to Cuddy rather than go himself and deal with Sam’s displeasure…
(If he’d told House the truth rather than seeking the comfort of his own lies…)
He’d played cheerleader for Cuddy, all but shoved House at her.
But how could he have known the relationship would be this toxic? How could he have guessed that House, unbending to the point of pathology, would betray himself rather than admit Cuddy couldn’t love him as he was?
Even if he tells the truth, House won’t listen. It’s been too long since they talked about anything but the latest behavioral contortion Cuddy requires if House intends to keep his place in her bed; too long since they were close.
These days, House doesn’t barge into his office and interrupt his work for idle conversation; doesn’t steal food off his plate; doesn’t keep track of the minutiae of his life by means classifiable as stalking. And Wilson misses it all, every petty annoyance, because it had been House’s way of saying You matter to me.
House has let him go. His demand that Wilson start dating (when before he’d had fits of possessive jealousy if Wilson so much as spoke to a nurse in the hall) had essentially meant I’m not interested anymore.
At home in the evenings, alone in a half-empty condo with a purring cat and the nauseous burn of his own self-recriminations, Wilson stares at the organ he’d bought and thinks of everything he should have done, every protest he shouldn’t have swallowed.
Everything he should have said while he had the chance.
II. Chase
When had House become so willing to lie to himself?
Years ago, when Cameron had wanted House for the same reasons Cuddy wants him now (someone to fix, to turn into a man who never existed), he’d sneered and turned her down.
He hadn’t allowed Chase to stay in a marriage built on lies; had pushed it until the inevitable implosion. He’d challenged Chase to stay and take responsibility for his choices rather than run, and Chase had, realizing it wouldn’t do any good to live in denial.
Now, watching from the periphery as House takes cases he would never have glanced at before, as even his puzzles become less important than whatever Cuddy wants at the moment, as he strains to be her ideal partner and even father figure to her child-Chase wonders whether this is what House feared staying with Cameron would have done to him. If House had seen the danger that Chase would have denied every one of his own truths to keep her.
Watching House deny his for Cuddy is painful (why would he want to give up his brilliant audacity to be bland and ordinary?), but it’s not Chase’s place to tell him: they’re not close. ‘Sort of friendly sometimes’ is the extent of it, and anyway, Chase has no room to talk, even if he were someone House would listen to. Not after Cameron and then trying to convince himself she hadn’t hurt him by losing himself in a succession of nameless women.
Even when he’d all but flaunted his empty affairs at the office, House hadn’t bothered to call him on it. (This is making you happy? Chase had demanded of himself in House’s scathing tones. Making you forget she broke your heart, forget you wanted a family? Lie to the women you’re sleeping with, fine; but I didn’t teach you to lie to yourself.)
He’s not sure House had even noticed something was wrong.
Maybe the situation will change, maybe not. Either way, Chase isn’t going anywhere.
He’s lost too much to give up on House, too.
END.
Note: ‘Negative space’ is the empty space around and between the subjects of an image. In this case, House’s absence (whether physical, emotional or both) forms the negative space around both Wilson and Chase.
Author: lit_luminary
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Wilson, Chase; implications of unrequited House/Wilson.
Summary: House’s singular focus on Cuddy has left gaps in both their lives.
I. Wilson
Wilson should never have kicked House out of the condo.
He keeps coming back to that day, replaying it in his memory, knowing now what a mistake he’d made. If he hadn’t shown House that he’d only be there if the latest lover allowed it, would he still have a place in House’s life?
If he’d checked on House in the wake of the crane collapse-when he’d known something had to be wrong-if he hadn’t left it to Cuddy rather than go himself and deal with Sam’s displeasure…
(If he’d told House the truth rather than seeking the comfort of his own lies…)
He’d played cheerleader for Cuddy, all but shoved House at her.
But how could he have known the relationship would be this toxic? How could he have guessed that House, unbending to the point of pathology, would betray himself rather than admit Cuddy couldn’t love him as he was?
Even if he tells the truth, House won’t listen. It’s been too long since they talked about anything but the latest behavioral contortion Cuddy requires if House intends to keep his place in her bed; too long since they were close.
These days, House doesn’t barge into his office and interrupt his work for idle conversation; doesn’t steal food off his plate; doesn’t keep track of the minutiae of his life by means classifiable as stalking. And Wilson misses it all, every petty annoyance, because it had been House’s way of saying You matter to me.
House has let him go. His demand that Wilson start dating (when before he’d had fits of possessive jealousy if Wilson so much as spoke to a nurse in the hall) had essentially meant I’m not interested anymore.
At home in the evenings, alone in a half-empty condo with a purring cat and the nauseous burn of his own self-recriminations, Wilson stares at the organ he’d bought and thinks of everything he should have done, every protest he shouldn’t have swallowed.
Everything he should have said while he had the chance.
II. Chase
When had House become so willing to lie to himself?
Years ago, when Cameron had wanted House for the same reasons Cuddy wants him now (someone to fix, to turn into a man who never existed), he’d sneered and turned her down.
He hadn’t allowed Chase to stay in a marriage built on lies; had pushed it until the inevitable implosion. He’d challenged Chase to stay and take responsibility for his choices rather than run, and Chase had, realizing it wouldn’t do any good to live in denial.
Now, watching from the periphery as House takes cases he would never have glanced at before, as even his puzzles become less important than whatever Cuddy wants at the moment, as he strains to be her ideal partner and even father figure to her child-Chase wonders whether this is what House feared staying with Cameron would have done to him. If House had seen the danger that Chase would have denied every one of his own truths to keep her.
Watching House deny his for Cuddy is painful (why would he want to give up his brilliant audacity to be bland and ordinary?), but it’s not Chase’s place to tell him: they’re not close. ‘Sort of friendly sometimes’ is the extent of it, and anyway, Chase has no room to talk, even if he were someone House would listen to. Not after Cameron and then trying to convince himself she hadn’t hurt him by losing himself in a succession of nameless women.
Even when he’d all but flaunted his empty affairs at the office, House hadn’t bothered to call him on it. (This is making you happy? Chase had demanded of himself in House’s scathing tones. Making you forget she broke your heart, forget you wanted a family? Lie to the women you’re sleeping with, fine; but I didn’t teach you to lie to yourself.)
He’s not sure House had even noticed something was wrong.
Maybe the situation will change, maybe not. Either way, Chase isn’t going anywhere.
He’s lost too much to give up on House, too.
END.
Note: ‘Negative space’ is the empty space around and between the subjects of an image. In this case, House’s absence (whether physical, emotional or both) forms the negative space around both Wilson and Chase.