(no subject)
Dry My Dreaming
Dead my old fine hopes
And dry my dreaming but still...
Iris, blue each spring ― Bashō Matsuo
NCIS / Aberrant Magic
Tony angst
Eventually Tony/Gibbs
Before Bishop's breakup
The new team does not exist
Chapters 15-18
Chapter Fifteen
The flight was halfway over the ocean and most of the passengers had settled into some activity, but beside Jethro, Tony kept right on fidgeting. Jethro thought he would settle after a time, but if anything, the behaviors were getting worse. It definitely reminded Jethro of the young Tony DiNozzo who had first shown up at NCIS. The contrast between this Tony and the tired, worn man he had become was stark. Ziva had a lot to answer for, even if she hadn’t been the one to damage Tony’s guide.
Finally Gibbs couldn’t take it anymore. “What’s bothering you?”
“What? Nothing.” Tony had a wide-eyed look of panic. For someone who was as good as Tony was at undercover, he sucked at lying.
Jethro raised an eyebrow. Sure enough, Tony folded. “I don't know how to be a father,” he said in a horrified whisper.
Christ that brought back memories. “None of us know,” Jethro reassured him. “We figure it out.”
“Easy for you to say,” Tony popped off with. Immediately he turned white and his face twisted with horror. “Shit. Boss, I didn't mean it.”
Jethro rode through that old pain. He’d expected the words to gut him, but they were nothing more than a rusted knife twisting his guts. For him, that was an improvement. But right now, Jethro could see that Tony needed a little support, and Jethro was man enough to face his own pain. Sometimes. Other times he hid in a bottle of bourbon, but this wasn’t the time for that. Jethro said quietly, “I relied on Shannon to know what she was doing, but Kelly was about eighteen months when she told me she'd been faking it the whole time. We all feel insecure.” Jethro remembered an old story Shannon had told him, one he hadn’t thought of in twenty years. “One book told Shannon to powder Kelly's rear end and another told her to use lotion. So she did both. The two mixed and when they dried, it turned out Shannon had glued Kelly's diaper to her backside.” Jethro smiled even as the pain made his eyes scratchy with tears he refused to shed.
“Seriously?” Tony’s voice had such hope. He needed to know he wasn’t the first or the last parent to panic at the thought of raising a child.
Jethro nodded. “I couldn't figure out whether to reassure Shannon or laugh. Since I valued my hide, I didn't laugh.”
Tony gave a little breathy laugh. “That sounds like something I would do.”
“All parents screw up. You'll get through it. Tali will get through it.” Jethro believed that. The way Tony looked at his daughter made it clear that he would keep trying until he got it right.
“Will I?” Tony asked. “Ziva is going to be right there to point out every mistake. I grew up in the middle of a home with parents who hated each other. I don't want that for Tali.”
“So don't make that mistake.” Seemed like a simple solution to Jethro, although he did know it wasn’t going to be that easy. Ziva did complicate issues.
“How can I avoid it when she looks at me like she's waiting for me to attack her, and I'm so angry with her that I can't look at her. I can't live under the same roof.”
Jethro took a deep breath. Honestly, it was probably for the best that Tony wasn’t living with him. Now that Jethro’s old desires were back, he needed to keep a little distance between them. “That's fine. We can set up a bedroom for you so you can stay when you want and you can spend most of your time at the apartment.”
Tony closed his eyes. “You keep being reasonable,” he said in a tone that was clearly a complaint. Jethro stared at Tony. “You’re not supposed to be calm. You’re supposed to be the one who refused to bend and makes the rest of the world deal with it.”
Ah. Tony never had liked change, and Jethro had played the bastard for a long time. “It’s different with kids.”
“Yeah?”
Jethro snorted. Tony would learn soon enough. Tali was about to become the center of his life, and any thought Tony might entertain about running his own affairs would quickly end. A bolt of guilt hit Jethro just under the ribs. Kelly had cried the last time Jethro had gotten orders to ship out. He’d promised her that it would be his last deployment, and then he’d walked out of her life. Again. Maybe if he had put his family before his love for his country, they would still be alive. Maybe they wouldn’t. Sometimes the worst part was knowing that Jethro would never have any answers.
“Are you going to be okay if I leave at five instead of staying at the office half the night?” Tony asked. His incredulity was front and center.
Jethro pulled his thoughts back to the present. Would he? No. But telling Tony that would be sidestepping the real issue. As much as Jethro wanted to ignore reality and his own less charitable attributes, he needed to man up with Tony before doing any more damage to their friendship.
“Truth is, I’m likely to be more of a bastard,” Jethro confessed.
Tony’s expression was painful to see.
“Now that your guide is healthy again, you’re different,” Jethro explained. He wasn’t sure how to say what he needed to without damaging their partnership. As much as Jethro liked Tony, he respected him more.
“And you’re more likely to be a bastard?” Tony prompted Jethro when Jethro paused too long.
Slowly, Jethro nodded. “When your guide is healthy, you have a power around you.”
Tony’s features twisted with a sort of angry resignation. “And God forbid anyone challenge you,” he snapped.
Jethro’s blood pressure went into the danger zone. “I didn’t say that.”
“No, but you made it damn clear over the years.”
“The only think I made clear was that I needed to keep distance between us. I fucked up with Jenny, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to do it again. Rule twelve exists for a reason,” Jethro said firmly.
“What?” All the anger had vanished, and Tony just looked stunned. Jethro chose to ignore the obvious and pretend that Tony was asking about his relationship with Jenny.
“If I’d been in the field with any other agent, I would have checked to make sure the target was eliminated. But I was sleeping with Jenny and she gave me the whole song and dance about trusting her. I didn’t follow my gut because my dick got in the way. That won’t ever happen again.” Jethro stared at the back of the seat in front of him and hoped that shock held Tony at bay for a while. And for a few short minutes, it worked.
Then Tony asked in a small voice, “Boss?”
Well, fuck. DiNozzo never could let sleeping dogs lie.
“If you’re screwing with my head…” Tony let his words trail off.
“I’m not screwing with anything. We work on a team, and all we do is work,” Jethro said firmly. He ignored the hard knot of longing that came from long years of trust and shared stories and support.
When Jethro had lost his memories, Tony had held Jethro’s world together until he came back, and Jethro knew the price he had paid for that. When Tony’s father had appeared, questioning Tony’s value, Jethro had told Anthony senior that Tony was the best agent he had ever worked with. They’d saved each other’s lives and shared cowboy steaks so often that Jethro couldn’t even keep track of it. The ghosts of Tony cooking in the kitchen or sitting on the basement stairs competed with the ghost of Shannon. No, they didn’t compete. They lived together in Jethro’s memories, each having a unique spot. And sometimes he could even imagine Shannon’s ghost smiling at Tony, telling him to kick Jethro’s ass because she was too far away to get the job done.
And sometimes Tony did exactly that. Tony and Shannon were the only people who had ever told Jethro off in his own home and still been welcome back the next day.
“Boss, I’ve had a thing for you since the day you set me up in Baltimore-making me tackle you and arrest you so you would have a credible cover story.”
Jethro knew that too. It had been the main reason Tony had overacted when Kate had made jabs about Tony’s heterosexuality. And because Jethro had been the center of that crush, Jethro had feared getting involved in their spat and drawing Kate’s attention to his own relationship with Tony.
When Jethro didn’t say anything, Tony kept talking. “Working without backup or a partner was pretty ballsy, boss. And then aggravating the local cops? You could have gotten yourself shot.”
“I knew your reputation as a cop. I knew you wouldn’t fire at a fleeing suspect.” At least based on DiNozzo’s record, Jethro gut had told him Tony wouldn’t. It turned out he’d been right.
“When I found out you were a fed, I was equal parts interested and angry. When you called me to DC, I was actually hoping it was a social call. Instead you offered me a job.”
“I remember.”
“Then… why? It’s been ten years.” Tony threw his hands up.
“Rule twelve,” Jethro said firmly. He knew the damage a relationship could do to a team. He’d seen Ziva and Tony do their push-pull dance long enough to have his dislike of in-team romance confirmed, even if at the time he’d thought they were suffering from unrequited love.
“So you tell me you care about me and then quote your rules? That’s sadistic, even for you,” Tony said with some real anger behind the words.
Jethro hadn’t meant it that way, but his relationship with Tony had grown so tangled that maybe Tony couldn’t read him anymore. Maybe it was time to be direct. “You were a team lead years ago, and then you seemed to lose more and more of some part of yourself, so I kept you on my team even when Leon wanted to transfer you out. I didn’t trust you to take care of yourself. If you’re really back to full strength and interested, you know the way around rule twelve,” Jethro said, and he had to stomp down on the selfish part of himself that didn’t want to give up Tony as a partner.
If Tony took Jethro’s advice and left the team, freeing both of them to explore whatever attraction had survived years of Jethro’s frustration and Tony’s spiritual damage, then Jethro was losing his work partner. He wouldn’t be able to count on Tony always having his six. Tim could do the job, but Jethro wasn’t as fast as he used to be, and he’d grown to rely on having Tony to pick up the slack. He and Tony could read each other in the field so Jethro didn’t have to give orders.
Tony was silent for longer this time, and Jethro took out a wood working magazine and started mentally planning his next project. Jethro needed something to distract him, especially now that Tony had recovered whatever part of himself that had been dying with his wolf. Even now, just considering pursuing a relationship was enough to make Jethro’s pants a little too tight. Jethro definitely needed the distraction of a complex project. As hard as it was for Jethro to give up control, he had to give Tony the space to decide what he wanted his life to look like.
Chapter Sixteen
Tony still hadn’t wrapped his head around all the changes in his life as he walked into the arrival area of the airport. Since Ziva had chosen a seat in business class, she had already debarked, and she was probably getting her luggage. Tony had no idea how much she’d brought or if she was planning on trying to take Tali back to Israel as soon as she could convince Gibbs to back her. That would be a Ziva thing to do.
And now that Gibbs had made his confession about being attracted, Tony had no idea how that changed the dynamics. A year ago, Tony would have bet money that Gibbs would side with Ziva. But now Gibbs claimed to want a relationship with Tony, but he also admitted that wanting a relationship was likely to make him more of a bastard.
Some days Tony suspected that Gibbs needed therapy… and to grow the fuck up. People weren’t supposed to be bigger bastards when they liked someone, at least not after they got out of fifth grade and left the pigtail pulling stage.
When a woman in a hijab started walking deliberately toward him, Tony’s instincts screamed at him. There was something dangerous about her, even though she looked like a stiff wind might knock her over. She stopped several feet away and offered a smile.
“Shaman DiNozzo?” she asked.
Out of the corner of his eye, Tony could see Gibbs taking up position to the side, but close enough to intervene. Tony wasn’t the only one who had pegged her as a danger. Tony didn’t even pretend to have good manners. “Who are you?”
She bowed her head. “I am Salma al-Ghamdi. Agents Oberton and Boucher wished to meet you, but a case required they go out of town, so I offered to bring you the paperwork on what has been done in your absence. Since you were out of communication, I took actions to protect your legal position.”
“You what?” Tony was definitely not processing well.
Gibbs closed the distance between them in three strides. “What actions?” he practically growled.
She wasn’t intimidated, which seemed a little unusual. She pulled some papers out of a messenger bag slung over her shoulder. “At the urging of Agent Oberton, I collected affidavits from those shaman who interacted with you during your time in Baltimore and Peoria.” She handed him a file folder. “All report that they noted your Talent was muted or missing. Several assumed you had a religious conversion that caused you to reject your Talent, so this supports your position that you have not had access to your Talent. I have forwarded these affidavits to NCIS.”
Tony opened the file and glanced through the legal documents. He would have to read them, but it did seem like these were in support of him. When al-Ghamdi reached into her bag again, Tony refocused on her.
“Since I was unable to reach you, I employed Karla Whitham from Rice, Begovic, and Whitham. She specializes in employment issues, and she asks that you contact her as soon as possible. She has attended meetings with your Director Vance and has a number of concerns about how the agency has discriminated against you. She would like guidance regarding how aggressive a stance to take with the agency.” Al-Ghamdi handed over another file.
Tony really was starting to feel like he was in an episode of Candid Camera. He expected someone to jump out and yell “surprise.” Life wasn’t giving him one second to catch up before hitting him with more.
“Who the hell are you to get involved?” Gibbs demanded. Thank God Gibbs was here because Tony did not feel up to demanding answers for himself.
“I apologize for not speaking to you before getting involved,” she told Gibbs with a demure tilt of her head. She was either very subservient or manipulative as hell. The way Gibbs narrowed his eyes made it pretty clear he’d settled on the second. “However, I did not wish for others to take advantage of your absence. I felt Ms. Whitham would defend your position more effectively than I could.”
Tony finally found his voice. “Who exactly are you and why would you get involved?”
She gave him a small smile. “I am the Egyptian emissary from the Talent community.”
“Like from the Egyptian council?” Tony asked, slightly horrified. That would make her a representative of one of the most powerful magical groups in the world. It never worked out for Tony when powerful people noticed him. He definitely preferred to fly under everyone’s radar, but this meant that he had failed spectacularly at that goal.
“In a way,” she agreed vaguely. “We have long advocated for keeping the Talent community separate from the mundane world, but Agents Oberton and Boucher have convinced us to study the possibility of integrating the two worlds. So I am here to learn from them and support them in any shamanic endeavors.” She held out a card for Tony. “Agent Oberton is particularly concerned that you have been treated poorly and wishes for you to have all the possible support of the Djedi center, so if you need anything, please feel free to contact me.”
After Tony took the card, she stepped back. When Tony glanced at the card, he recognized the phone number as using the FBI office prefix. That didn’t seem like coincidence, particularly if she was working with Boucher and Oberton. “I appreciate the offer,” he said although he had no intention of ever calling her. He planned to spend the next year trying to avoid anyone with as much power as she had. Hell, he’d spend the next decade working at that task.
“Tony?” Ziva called across the crowded room. She had Tali on her hip, a long scarf securing her in place, and she was pulling the largest trunk Tony had ever seen outside of the movies. It was one of those wardrobe trunks women in the forties always seemed to haul around train stations.
“Ziva.” Tony’s heart sank when he saw the fury on her face. Sure enough, she focused right in on Salma al-Ghamdi.
“So this is your new woman,” Ziva spit out. “And did she tell you that she too is a shaman?” Ziva’s body language was all angry angles and sharp elbows.
“I sort of assumed the shaman part,” Tony said. “But she’s here delivering some paperwork.” Tony reined in his temper. Tali watched with big eyes, and Tony didn’t need to make the situation more tense.
“Actually,” al-Ghamdi said, “I am an adept, but my training is quite extensive, so some may read the Talent that surrounds me as being closer to a shaman, so the mistake is understandable.”
Tony glanced down to see if she had the characteristic veining on her hands, but they were covered with gloves that were nearly hidden in her long sleeves. He had assumed her modest clothing had to do with her religion, but perhaps she had ulterior motives.
She gave Ziva a cold smile. “I am Adept Salma al-Ghamdi, North American representative of the Egyptian Authority. I assume you are Shaman Ziva David. Shalom, Shaman David. Welcome back to DC.” The words were delivered with such sweetness that Tony almost could have mistaken them for being friendly. However, there was an edge there that he couldn’t quite define, and Ziva lost nearly all the color out of her face.
“We should get to Gibbs’ place,” Tony said. Gibbs was eyeing al-Ghamdi even more critically now, probably because Ziva was having such a strong reaction. Ziva wrapped her arm around Tali protectively before turning a horrified look toward Tony. In that second, he could see such raw fear. Everyone she’d ever loved had ultimately betrayed her or used her. She expected al-Ghamdi was here to help Tony take her child.
Tony’s heart broke a little. He didn’t love Ziva, not anymore. Not after all the pain she had caused. But he had loved her once-even if it had been a fragile love devoid of any depth. And even more importantly, she was the mother of his daughter, and Tali would suffer if she lost her mother.
“Ziva is moving back with our daughter,” Tony told al-Ghamdi. “Would Ms. Whitham be able to draw up a joint custody arrangement with full decision making abilities for both of us or is that too far outside her area of expertise.”
Weirdly, al-Ghamdi glanced over toward Gibbs. Then again, Gibbs was hovering and putting out some weirdly possessive vibes, so she was probably trying to decide who was sleeping with whom. “I don’t believe Ms. Whitham would feel confident with family law, but I will find an attorney would can complete that paperwork,” al-Ghamdi finally offered. “Shall I send the paperwork to Agent Gibbs’ house or would you prefer to consult with the attorney about the final details of custody before he or she draws up the agreement?”
“I don’t need to consult,” Tony said. “Standard full shared custody sounds fine. Ziva, do you want to talk to the lawyer beforehand?” Tony turned toward her, and the flash of confusion was heartbreaking. However, Ziva quickly plastered that over with a false confidence.
“A shared custody would be acceptable.” She raised her chin, and the defenses were all back in place. Tali watched her mother curiously.
“If that’s settled, I want to get home before we have to deal with Vance,” Gibbs said. He took charge by simply walking away, leaving everyone else to scramble after him. Since Tony had only taken a small go bag, he took the handle of Ziva’s trunk and started after Gibbs. Ziva watched him with suspicion, but only time would teach her that she could, in fact, still trust Tony.
Tony might be angry with Ziva and he might not trust her, but he loved his daughter. Besides, fighting with Ziva had never ended well for him. He preferred a truce, just as long as they both kept their relationship professional. Considering that Tony’s love life was a fucking disaster with one lover betraying him and one boss suggesting he’d rather be a lover, Tony needed professional.
Chapter Seventeen
Jethro pulled up in front of the café and the shadow of a hawk slid across the truck’s hood. Big bugger. Jethro had seen several giant hawks lately, which wasn’t surprising in rural Israel, but a little more unusual in DC. “You ready?” he asked Tony. Already Jethro regretted talking to Tony about his own attraction. Tony was carrying enough, and Jethro was a big boy. He could damn well keep his lust under control without acting like a bastard around Tony. And now Tony had a lawyer to deal with.
Jethro didn’t like it. And he didn’t like al-Ghamdi. As soon as they got to the yard, he was going to have Abby do a little digging on the woman.
Jethro recognized the lawyer, Ms. Whitham, the second they walked into the cafe. The expensive suit had no place in the diner. If he had his way, they would walk out again, but Jethro was trying to tone down his attitude. Tony needed to make his own decisions, especially when his Talent could cause serious problems with his credibility as an agent. Jethro didn't even disagree with getting a lawyer, although he would prefer to hire one himself because he definitely didn't trust al-Ghamdi. She was too meek, especially when Jethro's gut told him that she had a lot more power than she revealed.
The lawyer stood and walked toward them, hand outstretched. "Agent DiNozzo, nice to meet you." She gave Tony a smile before turning a colder expression toward Jethro. "Before we begin, I should advise you that the presence of a third party negates our confidentiality. I would recommend that we move this meeting to my vehicle."
Jethro appreciated her directness, but he still hated her.
"Gibbs is fine. He can hear whatever you have to say," Tony said. Jethro's stomach unclenched a little. He wouldn't have liked it if Tony had left with the woman, although he would have accepted the decision.
Ms. Whitham wasn't ready to give in, though. "I respect your loyalty, but since he is a supervisor--"
"He's fine. Anything you say, I'm going to repeat to him later, and since I trust his motives more than yours, he can stay." Tony's inner strength made an appearance. This was the man Jethro remembered from Baltimore. Now that Jethro saw all the years of change erased in one day, he had to wonder how he could have ever dismissed the changes in DiNozzo as simple aging.
"You're the client." Whitham's tone made it clear that she considered Tony an idiot. However she returned to the booth in the back of the cafe where they had at least some privacy. She sat on one side and when Tony took his seat across from her, he scooted in to make room for Jethro. Jethro was more than happy to follow and present a unified front.
"Am I?" Tony asked. His voice was soft, but there was an unmistakable power there. "Am I your real client?"
"Yes. You are. It's true the council hired me, Adept al-Ghamdi specifically. However, I was hired to protect your interests in your absence. No one wanted NCIS making precipitous decisions."
Tony grinned, and the danger vanished under a layer of goofy camouflage. He was playing with her. "Yeah, I don't get that part. Why do you care?"
"Are you asking me personally or professionally?"
"Both."
Whitham studied Tony, and Jethro got the impression that she had finally recognized Tony's power. Most people dismissed him, so Jethro gave her some credit for showing some caution around DiNozzo.
Finally she said, "Personally I hate it when even inept people get screwed out of their rights by overzealous and dictatorial employers, but when good men get the shaft, I tend to develop deep resentments. Professionally, I was paid to protect your interests so that your case does not set a precedent that would harm the entire shamanic community. Accidental shamans are unusual, but they happen often enough that they aren't a surprise, especially with the growing opioid addiction in this country. Everyone with Talent who is young enough to be open to both living and dead magics is one bad trip away from shamanism if they overdose. That means that as more and more accidental shamans come to light, the council is going to have to get more involved in their legal rights." The answer surprised Jethro. He hadn't considered the larger implications, but now that she laid them out, it made sense that the Talent council would want to get involved.
"So it's not Tony you care about," Jethro summarized.
"Originally, no," she admitted easily before she focused her attention on Tony again. "However, after sitting through a number of meetings, I am trying to decide if you're a saint or an idiot for putting up with the current administration of the NCIS office. And no offense, Agent Gibbs, but you are a big part of my problem with how Agent DiNozzo has been treated."
Tony opened his mouth, probably to defend Jethro.
Jethro interrupted. "Don't. She's right."
"Boss." Tony wanted to argue the point, but Jethro needed an outside point of view. He was too close to this problem, and while he still didn't trust Whitham, he wanted an outside view of the problem.
"Why don't you come right out and tell me what you mean?" he challenged her.
Her smile was dangerous. "Are you sure? Because I have some fairly specific problems with your behavior, and if I can talk Agent DiNozzo into it, we'll be filing a complaint against you and NCIS."
Tony said fiercely, "No, we won't."
She gave DiNozzo a weary look. "At least let me present the case."
Jethro interrupted again before Tony could present a misguided defense. "Let's hear it."
"Fine. Your personnel reviews are consistently lower than any other supervisor in the entire building."
Jethro was sick of everyone criticizing his managing style. "I've always been hard on my people." Jethro refused to apologize for that.
"If that was the end of it, you might have a defense, except that office has no agent in charge, so no one else is filing reviews for your people," Whitham said. "However, every review you file for McGee has a supplemental from Director Vance praising his work on specific cases in which McGee used technology in innovative ways. And now you have a new agent, and your reviews for Agent Bishop are glowing. So that means my client and only my client is left with artificially low ratings."
Jethro hadn't known Vance was doing that. Before he could say anything, Tony jumped in.
"I know I'm a valuable part of the team."
"Yes, part of the team, only you are never promoted off that damn team. You were a team lead seven years ago, and yet when Agent Gibbs returned, you were demoted. Vance promoted you to Agent Afloat, and yet the first time Gibbs wanted you back, he demoted you again. And I don't even want to start on your working hours under Director Shepard. When Director Vance brought the Benoit case up, I nearly passed out. That is a lawyer's wet dream. You were overworked, the agency failed to pay for overtime, you were denied backup and the whole mission was unsanctioned. That was clear from the reports the team reviewed. And Director Vance's concern is that the case suggests you used shamanic energy to keep functioning. I'm more concerned about the multiple federal employment laws NCIS violated."
Shit. Vance was looking at whether to hang DiNozzo out to dry. Jethro knew where a lot of bodies were buried, and if he had to choose between protecting Tony's position, and protecting Vance's, there wasn't any question. Hopefully Whitham had already headed off the worst danger. The only thing that scared Leon more than a lawsuit was an actual lawyer. DiNozzo having one sit in the meeting for him would have made an impression.
"I didn't use shamanic energy," Tony said firmly.
Whitham rolled her eyes. "Clearly whatever myopathy Director Vance suffers from, it's contagious. Of course you didn't. I have affidavits from a dozen different shamans, all of whom confirm that your Talent aura was null. You had been stripped of all energy. Several shamans have expressed great guilt that they never spoke to you about it, but they wanted to respect your privacy. I realize I've pushed in, but I am your advocate. So, my question is whether we want to handle this situation with kid gloves or an iron fist. My choice would be the latter. I have fantasies about ripping certain people new assholes." She leveled her glare at Gibbs.
Tony gave a lopsided grin. "What is it with shamans and scary women?" It was classic redirection, and Jethro figured Tony was uncomfortable even considering pursing any path that would put Jethro in a bad light. As much as Jethro appreciated the loyalty, he was a Marine. When Whitham laid out all the facts, Jethro could see that it was time for him to take one for the team.
Whitham gave Tony a genuine smile. "Thank you. I consider that a compliment, but I'm not a shaman. I just work for them."
"Why did al-Ghamdi pick you?" Tony asked.
"Because she thought a minority would be underestimated by the agency and I would have an opportunity to gather a lot more evidence than a male colleague. Sitting in those meetings, the legal department has allowed me to hear enough to put the whole agency in serious trouble, so either I'm only seeing the tip of the iceberg and NCIS should be burned to the ground or your whole agency is so dismissive of women that the strategy worked."
Tony huffed. "It's not that bad."
Jethro disagreed. "Yes it is." Even though Ziva had been Mossad, plenty of agents had underestimated her, and Jenny had to fight for every ounce of respect. Jethro wondered if she would have been a better director if so many agents hadn't constantly questioned and undermined her. But that was water under the bridge. Whatever crap Jenny had taken, she had made the choice to break the rules and screw up a dozen different operations.
Whitham ignored the debate and asked Tony directly, "So, am I filing for the world's greatest severance package complete with a personal apology from SecNav or would you rather stay with the agency with a legal mandate for changes in personnel reviews?"
Tony's discomfort was obvious. "That might be going too far."
"No. It isn't. Vance should have promoted you already," Jethro said.
His support clearly aggravated Whitham. "Oh, now you're saying that. You are the one who filed a stack of horrendous reviews, which you then made even worse by filing flattering ones for Bishop."
When Whitham laid it out, Jethro felt a twinge of guilt. "Yep. I know. You tell me how to undo that and I will."
"You can't unless you're willing to write an addendum admitting that you were an ass."
Here is where the rubber met the road. That was the last thing Jethro wanted to do, but this was his mess and he needed to fix it. "Would it work to say that I had been using negative reviews to motivate improved behavior when I believed an agent had more potential and that my review of Bishop changed because I decided that I was driving away too many good people?"
Tony gave Jethro an incredulous look, but Whitham seemed more open. She nodded slowly. "You have gone through more temporary agents than every other senior agent on that floor combined. Would this come with a more accurate review of DiNozzo?"
"Boss, you don't have to," Tony rushed to say.
"I don’t, but you deserve it."
"It's going to reflect badly on you as a team lead,” Tony argued. He was still trying to protect Jethro, even after all the shit that had landed on his head.
"I can handle that,” Jethro assured him. “Besides, it's my mistake. Jenny told me to knock it off with the low reviews, but I was so busy refusing to listen to her that I didn't take good advice. I'll write a more accurate review.” Jethro turned his attention to the lawyer. “It will reflect the fact that Tony is the only agent I've ever completely trusted both at my six and to handle my team."
Whitham's smile came slowly, but it spread to her whole face, making the corners of her eyes crinkle up. "I might not hate you."
"I could say the same," Jethro said. He turned to Tony. "So, what do you want? I’ll back you, but I need to know where you want to end up after all this is over." Jethro couldn’t help but remember the ultimatum he had given Tony.
No one could change the fact that Tony was going to have to sit through a lot of case reviews with JAG, but only Tony could make the big decision of what he wanted to do afterward. Part of Jethro wanted to keep his partner. Besides, if Tony were off the team, Jethro wouldn't have an excuse to avoid having a relationship with the man. Shannon had been Jethro's only successful relationship, and in the end, they had actually lived together for less than six months. Deployments had ensured that their marriage had been filled with more longing phone calls than arguments over whose turn it was to pick up groceries. Jethro wasn't sure he could do a relationship, and if he ruined this with Tony, the friendship would vanish.
But if Jethro held Tony back and kept him as a partner, the friendship might end anyway. No matter what happened, he could see the danger. And this time, Jethro wasn’t in control of his own destiny; this time Tony had to choose.
Chapter Eighteen
The lawyer had pleaded with Tony to discuss the onset of his shamanic powers before coming to NCIS, but Tony was only having this conversation once. So Tony was leading a merry little parade into Vance's conference room. Gibbs and Whitham jockeyed for position right behind him, but Tony ignored them both. His ability to deal with life was quickly dwindling, and Tony still hadn't confronted the one person he knew was responsible for his damaged Talent--his father.
Cynthia had told Tony that Director Vance was waiting in the largest conference room, but when Tony opened the door and saw the crowd arranged around the large table, he nearly turned and bolted. He might have only Gibbs and Whitham were blocking his retreat.
"Agent DiNozzo," Director Vance said as he stood. Next to him was Robertson from legal and Hernandez from JAG. Tony didn't recognize the woman with graying hair or the weasel-faced man. He did recognize FBI Agent Boucher, who was busy on his phone. And then there were the obvious assistants, either sitting next to or behind their various bosses. Everyone else seemed perfectly comfortable staring at Tony.
Tony was staring back when Ms. Whitham breezed past Tony and took command of the room. "Director Vance, Captain Hernandez, Mr. Nazir, Agent Travers, Mrs. White. And Agent Boucher. How nice of you to join us. Are you here to represent the FBI or the Talent Council?"
Tony decided he loved his lawyer a little because she distracted everyone, allowing him to slip into the room and quickly take a seat.
Boucher looked up from his phone. "If the council has to act, I want all the information."
Ms. Whitham seemed to ignore his answer, sitting in the seat closest to Director Vance. "Director, my client is here against my advice. Given NCIS's history of discriminatory actions that directly contradict agency policy, I suggested he file a formal complaint and handle any issues through my office. He is here because he would prefer to protect NCIS's position."
"We can't endanger any cases," Tony said firmly. Whitham was making it sound like Tony was a cross between a martyr and a saint.
"I appreciate that,” Captain Hernandez from JAG said. “Mr. Nazir has handled the FBI cases called into question after Agent Oberton's Talent appeared recently, and I believe we can minimize any legal exposure as long as we can show that you didn't have access to your Talent during your time at NCIS."
"Which I believe is already established by the affidavits submitted by Ms. al-Ghamdi." Ms. Whitham sounded uniquely unamused, and from the flash of surprise that crossed Vance's face, Tony got the impression that she had been much less confrontation in previous meetings. He really hoped that Vance didn't blame Tony for the change in her tone.
Gibbs took the seat next to Tony and said, "Let's cut the bullshit. DiNozzo was on my team for his entire NCIS career. He was targeted by a serial killer, and he had to use his wits and training to get out of the situation. If he had magic, he would have used it."
Tony thought about that--about the two times he'd been alone with serial killers. If he'd had magic, he definitely would have used it.
"You have to admit DiNozzo has survived some implausible situations," Vance said.
"Because I'm damn good and because Gibbs has taught me to be even better," Tony said. "I never knew I was a shaman."
Captain Hernandez shot Vance an unhappy look. "I would like to focus on the critical points that Mr. Nazir identified. Agent DiNozzo, can you identify the near-death experience that would have triggered your shamanism?"
Tony took a deep breath. This was personal information he didn't want to share, so he had to give JAG what they needed without exposing all his secrets. "When I was twelve, I was playing in the woods and I got lost. I was hospitalized for exposure, and I told the hospital that I was saved by a wolf that sat with me."
"And they didn't call the Djedi center?" Boucher asked, his voice sharp enough that Tony got the feeling that he wanted to gut someone for a mistake like that. If Boucher and Gibbs ever went head to head, Tony would leave the state to avoid the fallout. They both were terrifying.
"This was thirty years ago," Tony pointed out. "There was a lot more prejudice against Talent, and my father and the doctor agreed that I had suffered hallucinations. The doctor was under the impression that twelve was too young for shamanism."
"That does seem young," Captain Hernandez said. "Agent Boucher, you're our expert on shamanism, is that possible?"
Boucher nodded slowly. "Guides don't attach themselves to children, but if Tony was a particularly mature twelve year old, his guide might have seen Tony as a young man. In societies where twelve year olds have rites of adulthood, guides do choose shamans that young.”
“DiNozzo’s father left him alone in a hotel to fend for himself at twelve,” Gibbs said. Tony really didn’t need that piece of information getting around, but Boucher slowly nodded.
“That makes it likely that the guide recognized that Tony was taking on adult responsibilities. Someone should have called the Djedi center and asked for a consult.”
“Water under the bridge,” Tony said and he hoped Boucher dropped it. The shamanic council should have censored the hospital thirty years earlier, but no one responsible for that mistake would still be there. The current hospital staff couldn’t be blamed. And while Tony didn’t intend to get into it with Boucher, Tony’s father also took most of the blame. He had charmed and threatened the staff, and looking back, Tony suspected his father had used more than a little magic to get them to go along.
Boucher narrowed his eyes, but didn’t say anything as Captain Hernandez took the lead again. He had a legal pad with a list he was clearly working down.
“In the case of Agent Oberton, his Talent was so faint that he never realized he possessed any. Why didn’t you realize you had Talent?” Hernandez leaned forward, and Tony had the sudden sense of anxiety and anticipation. Hernandez wanted Tony to give a good answer. No, he was desperate for it. This was more than Tony’s investigative instinct-this was an almost palpable sense of the other man’s emotions.
“My guide was damaged,” Tony said calmly, even though the thought of that proud creature suffering in pain for so many years made him near homicidal. “That’s why the shamans I interacted with couldn’t feel any magic. My guide had essentially bled out and was barely hanging onto life.”
“Is your guide still damaged?” Hernandez asked.
“He’s fine now,” Tony said. He assumed that was true because he could sense his wolf stalking in the shadows, even if Tony couldn’t get the wolf to respond to his call.
Hernandez frowned. “What changed, and when did it changed?”
Boucher interrupted. “The change took place three days ago when I first visited. Anything else is shamanic business.”
Hernandez blinked at Boucher, clearly shocked. However, Boucher’s expression made it clear he wasn’t going to budge. The two men stared at each other until Whitham interrupted.
“Talent is a proprietary skill. You can’t ask for shamanic secrets or an incantation user’s methods any more than you can require a company to reveal an industry secret. If you want to know the ingredients in the secret sauce, you have to figure it out yourself,” Whitham said. “And since Boucher is on the council, he has a good legal claim that any of his specific skills are unique to him and therefore protected from government inquiry,” she said sweetly. She was vicious when sweet. “Next question.”
Hernandez cleared his throat before focusing on Tony again. “Do you know how your guide was damaged?”
“I’m still investigating,” Tony said.
Hernandez continued on that line of questioning. “And who-”
He didn’t get any farther before Whitham cut him off. “Irrelevant to the problem at hand, which is protecting NCIS convictions. When Agent DiNozzo is finished with his investigation, the results will go to Shaman Boucher and the council since they have jurisdiction over any assaults that are limited to the shamanic plane and don’t result in any physical harm.”
Gibbs snorted, and every muscle in Tony’s body tensed. He waited for Gibbs to jump in and start making demands, but after that non-verbal commentary on the lack of harm, he fell silent again.
Vance was watching with a concerned expression, as if he couldn’t figure out what had changed. To tell the truth, Tony hadn’t figured it out, either. Gibbs revealed his interesting in having a relationship and then backed off. Either he was trying to give Tony space or he was regretting his confession. Tony had no idea how he was supposed to even react. If Gibbs went back to his normal bullying, blustering ways, at least Tony would know how to handle it. This new Gibbs who let Tony take lead was, quite frankly, terrifying.
Tony knew he’d played doormat to Gibbs’ bully routine. Their dynamic had changed so much since Kate had died, and now Tony wondered if Gibbs hadn’t turned more and more aggressive in part because Tony was floundering. It would explain a lot, even if it didn’t excuse anything. And frankly Tony didn’t have time to sort his feelings, so he focused on Vance.
“How does NCIS plan to handle having an active shaman on the payroll?” Tony asked the question and then braced himself for an unpleasant answer.
Vance frowned for a fraction of a second before shrugging. “I see no reason to change anything. Are you going to use your Talent?”
“As soon as I can train, yes,” Tony said. Before he could say more, Ms. Whitham jumped in again. Back at the café, Tony had shared his vision of a perfect world, but he was shocked when she went straight for his wish list.
“And when he is trained, it’s inappropriate to have someone with a unique skill and this many years of experience in a subordinate position. What are you prepared to offer in terms of promotions?” Whitham asked.
Vance gave Tony a surprised look, but Tony kept his mouth shut. Whitham knew her job, and he was letting her take the lead because if he opened his mouth he was going to make a joke and try and hide behind humor to defuse the rising tension in the room.
“If he wants a promotion, there’s always agent afloat,” Vance said. That was a threat, and Tony knew it. Gibbs clenched his fists and looked ready to take Vance’s head off. Even Boucher shifted as though not sure whether the silent threat of violence was metaphorical or physical.
“And if you can’t find an investigative position appropriate to his experience, there are other agencies,” Whitham said. Tony wasn’t sure he was willing to pull the trigger on that threat, but he might be. He couldn’t keep living in Gibbs’ shadow, not when Tony felt so different. If he and Gibbs were partners, he’d be fine, but Tony needed the people who worked with him to acknowledge his skills, and he felt like that wasn’t happening. He loved Abby, but she saw him as some sort of appendage to Gibbs, and Tim liked Tony without every truly respecting him-at least that’s how Tony felt sometimes. Other times he thought he was probably being a drama queen.
Boucher spoke up. “There are so many law enforcement agencies who need Talent that the council is considering hiring some shamans and magic users who could liaison with any law enforcement agencies who require help. The CIA, local police forces, ATF, and a number of smaller agencies have all said they would hire consultants when their cases involved Talent. If Agent DiNozzo is interested in heading up that unit, I would offer him the job today.”
Vance turned ashen gray. Oh yeah, he was seriously hating Boucher. Tony suspected the offer was smoke and mirrors-all intended to force Vance’s hand-but Tony appreciated it anyway.
“If he’s interested in an investigative position, there is a position coming open in cold cases, a two-man unit losing the head investigator.”
Whitham stared at Vance, and Tony narrowed his eyes. Cold cases were interesting sometimes, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to work them full time.
After a few seconds, Vance said, “Any other promotions would require budgeting changes, which could take two to three months to process. In the meantime, he is going to be busy working with JAG and training his new Talent, correct?”
Captain Hernandez leaned back in his chair. “Mr. Nazir has laid out such a clear path with Agent Oberton’s late-appearing Talent that I don’t think we are going to have too many problems. No doubt a few defense attorneys will find friendly judges, but if we can get the hospital records from the time Agent DiNozzo was twelve and then show that he was left magically incapacitated by an attack, we won’t have legal problems. Agent DiNozzo, realistically what are the chances that you’re going to find who attacked you?”
“Oh, I’m fairly certain we’ll get our answers quickly,” Tony said. He could see Vance wanted more, but the man leaned back and watched, clearly unsettled by the changing dynamics in the room.
“And do you need any resources in this investigation?” Hernandez was clearly fishing for information.
“No,” Tony said.
Hernandez nodded. “Director Vance, Agent Boucher, if you could get me information on the outcome of the investigation, that would help me prepare a plan for any cases that get in front of judges. Agent Boucher, what is the council likely to do if they confirm that someone attacked Agent DiNozzo’s guide?”
Boucher looked at Tony for a second. The man had one hell of a poker face because Tony couldn’t figure out what the man was thinking. “The council could issue an advisory, warning the community that the individual abused his power. They could block the person’s Talent or drain the guide’s magic to the point where the shaman couldn’t perform much magic. In the worst case scenario, if the guide is deemed corrupted to the point that it is helping in the assault because it wants to hurt people, it can be either destroyed or reduced in power to the point that it is a shadow of itself.”
A shiver went up Tony’s back.
Boucher continued. “If Agent DiNozzo brings a case to the council, we will address the severity of the assault as well as any extenuating circumstances at that time.”
Whitham frowned. “As a lawyer, I have to say that sounds a little like you’re offering to be judge, jury and executioner. Where is the protection of the rights of the accused?”
“The accused is the guide,” Boucher said. “We don’t do anything to the human except deny them access to the guide’s power so they are effective mundane again. But if they want protection from a particular council, then they need to stay out of that council’s territory.”
Tony heard a distant howl, and he could have sworn something hit the ground hard enough that he could feel the vibrations in his bones, but no one else seemed to notice. At least he didn’t think anyone noticed until Gibbs turned his head and checked the corner of the room. The empty corner. Weird. But since Tony had reached his limits on strange, he decided to ignore it.