The Cost of Butterfly Kisses
You're not going to believe this. My computer died. My brand new computer. Anyway, I thought I was going to miss my deadline, and I had to scramble to get an old laptop hooked up, but here you go....
The Cost of Butterfly Kisses, Part 37
Fandom/Pairing: BtVS, Spike/Xander
Rated: ADULT
Taming the Muse: Explosion
It's time for the drama with the First to come to an end, but before that can happen, the gang has to figure out what's going on.
( Chapter One... ) ( Chapter Two... ) ( Chapter Three... ) ( Chapter Four... ) ( Chapter Five ) ( Chapter Six ) ( Chapter 7 ) ( Chapter 8 ) ( Chapter Nine ) ( Chapter Ten ) ( Chapter Eleven ) ( Chapter Twelve ) ( Chapter Thirteen ) ( Chapter 14 . ) ( Chapter 15 ) ( Chapter 16 ) ( Chapter 17 ) ( Chapter 18 ) ( Chapter 19 ) ( Chapter 20 ) ( Chapter 21 ) ( Chapter 22 ) ( Chapter 23 ) ( Chapter 24 ) ( Chapter 25 ) ( Chapter 26 ) ( Chapter 27 ) ( Chapter 28 ) ( Chapter 29 ) ( Chapter 30 ) ( Chapter 31 ) ( Chapter 32 ) ( Chapter 33 ) ( Chapter 34 ) ( Chapter 35 ) ( Chapter 36 )
"Now, luv," Spike said as he caught Xander's arm. Xander's eyes were puffy and red, and Spike suspected that he was about to start crying. Truth was, Spike wasn't even sure he could blame Xander; it wasn't easy to hear that you had accidentally caused an Armageddon. Well, contributed, anyway. Spike was blaming this one on Red's manipulation and Tara's inability to tell her girl to sod off.
Xander tried to pull his arm away from Spike as Giles, Halvard and Vovka came out of the portal, but Spike hung on.
The portal spell had refused to let Buffy in, and now she was waiting for a report, her arms crossed. "Well? What's the news?"
Xander shied away from her as though she'd be able to see straight into his heart and see his guilt.
"It's not your fault, luv," Spike said. He hadn't exactly intended on telling the Watcher or Buffy about his relationship this way, but Xander looked about ready to fly into a thousand pieces, and Spike wasn't going to stand on the sidelines and let the boy blame himself. Spike pulled him close despite Xander's desperate flailing.
"Spike," Giles said wearily.
"Sod off," Spike suggested. "It's not near as bad as all that," Spike lied. That made Xander stop squirming and just look at him with this expression of pain and self-hate that made Spike's soul curl up like a bug in the hot sun.
"Just…." Xander looked around wildly. "You tell her," Xander whispered. He tried to pull his arm away, but Spike held on and started dragging Xander toward home.
"Let the others deal with this rot," Spike said. He might love both Buffy and Xander, but he'd made his choice. Rupert would stay with Buffy, but Xander only had him. Red was sure to go on a guilt trip of her own and drag the boy in with her, and Spike didn't entirely trust Tara to stop that particular train wreck.
They'd nearly reached the end of the alley when Xander reached out and caught the edge of the building. "Spike, no," Xander said. The others were still standing near where the portal had reopened, watching. Buffy's mouth was hanging open, so Spike was guessing she'd figured something out. "Spike, Buffy needs you," Xander said.
"You need me more," Spike countered.
Xander closed his eyes and leaned closer. For a second, he rested his weight against Spike, weariness and pain coloring his scent while his body heat soaked into Spike. "Yes, I do," Xander admitted. "But I can't be okay with needing you until I know Buffy's okay, and I just really can't face her. I can't, Spike." Xander's confession, given in a rough whisper, tore at Spike's soul. Xander had always tried to do the right thing. He was the first to admit that he sometimes failed, but the universe had played a nasty prank this time. "Please, take care of her. Please, Spike," Xander begged.
"Fine," Spike reluctantly agreed. He looked in the shadows, and a familiar face was watching. "But I'm coming back just as soon as she's sorted," Spike said.
Xander nodded. "Doritos, beer and country music."
"Wot?" Spike tilted his head.
"Guilt night," Xander said with a shrug. "Bring Doritos, beer, and actually, I have the country music."
Spike grimaced at the thought of a night getting his ears rotted out by that shite, but he had to admit the boy had earned a little wallowing. "Right then, just don't expect me to buy American piss water beer," he warned. "So, you're going straight home?"
Xander nodded, but Spike suspected that he was lying. It was hard to tell because his scent was so layered with misery that the tell-tale sour of his deceit couldn't come through, but Spike figured he needed time away from all those potentials.
"Be careful then," Spike said as he let Xander go. Xander left his hand on Spike's arm for a second before he turned to walk toward home. Of course, there were any number of parks for him to make a pit stop. Spike moved to the end of the alley and watched Xander drift toward the corner. The others could wait until Spike had a chance to see Xander taken care of. Spike moved farther away from the alley, keeping eye contact with the figure from the shadows. If the prat thought he could hide from a vampire, he was even stupider than Spike expected.
When Xander turned the corner, Finn finally drifted out of the shadows and trotted over toward Spike, his eyes on the mouth of the alley. Clearly he didn't want to have Buffy catch him lurking around corners.
"She's not coming, not yet anyway," Spike said.
"What happened?" Finn asked, but Spike didn't answer. He wasn't the git's messenger.
"Have someone keep an eye on him," Spike said with a nod toward Xander. "He's not thinking straight right now."
"Why?" Finn repeated without even trying to hide his suspicion.
Spike glared at him. With a sigh, Finn reached for his radio. "Delta, take the moat."
Spike raised an eyebrow. "Moat?"
Finn shrugged. "When I briefed them, I said you had to get past Xander if you planned to get close to the girls, and sometimes there was more under the surface of the water than you might think."
Spike pursed his lips. It was true enough, but he hadn't expected Finn to have that particular insight. "Xander's covered, Spike, so what the hell is going on? Did you get the intel on why the First is here?"
"Yep, your pet mage can fill you in," Spike suggested with a nasty tone. He turned to walk away, and Finn caught his arm.
"What the hell is going on?"
Spike snarled as he glared at Finn. "Might want to move your hand, mate. I'm not on the leash anymore." It was the only warning Spike intended to give the git. Even now, his demon raged at the injustice of a weak bit of prey like Finn having the balls to touch him.
"Then why are you here?" Finn asked. He took several seconds to pull his hand back, making it clear that he wasn't going to flinch away from Spike, even if he recognized the monster in front of him.
"I don't answer to you." In the distance, Spike could hear Buffy's voice and Giles' stuttered answers. He needed to get back there before Vovka told her what the oracle had said. That was going to be a right explosion when she figured out that evil was slouching its way toward Bethlehem because she'd been brought back to life.
Spike had turned away when Finn's voice stopped him. "Is Xander addicted to the bite?"
Slowly turning back toward the soldier, Spike studied him with yellow eyes. "That's more your preference than his," Spike said with a smirk.
"Yes, it was," Finn agreed, and that caught admission Spike off guard. "That's why I know just how hard it is to break that habit. If you've gotten him addicted to the bite, that's not affection. That's addiction."
Spike crossed his arms. "Never bit him except when the First was clomping through my brain with his hob-nailed boots. I can make him cry out in pleasure in other ways." Spike looked Finn up and down as though considering him. Spike would cut off his own dick before he'd touch Finn, but good, corn-fed heterosexuals tended to flee from any challenge to their masculinity, and right now Spike needed Finn out of his face or the man was going to end up dead.
Instead of retreating, Finn took a step forward. "I'm giving you a pass because of Buffy and Xander-"
Spike darted forward, his hands reaching out. Without a second's hesitation, Finn reached for a weapon. He was good-good enough that Spike barely caught the man's wrist before he ended up with a tazer in his gut. Instead, Spike slammed Finn's hand against the brick building. The tazer clattered to the ground, but Finn twisted around, and a thin piece of wood sunk deep into Spike's gut. Maybe a fledge would let pain or fear distract them, but Spike was a master vampire. Fact was, this felt good. Pressing closer to Finn so that he used his whole body to trap the man against the building, he wrapped a hand around the soldier's neck.
Spike could hear four people moving into position, but Finn gestured, and Spike could hear them stop. Interesting. Soldier boy didn't think he needed backup. Spike leaned close so that he could smell the soap and desire clinging to Finn's skin. Oh yeah, the git remembered the bite. "Do you want to push until I'll sink my teeth into you?" Spike whispered in Riley's ear. "Is that your game? Do you envy Xander? Do you wonder how he managed to earn a spot in my bed? Is that why you told your mates to back off?" Spike tightened his hold on Finn's neck just enough to remind the man that Spike could easily kill him. "You aren't as strong as him or Buffy or Drusilla or Angelus. So, until you think you can compete with them, you'd better watch your step around me, pet," Spike said in an overly friendly voice intended to warn Finn that he was treading on fucking dangerous ground. Spike's soul and his demon pulled at him, each demanding a different sort of satisfaction.
Instead of taking revenge, Spike let Finn go and took a step back, his body coiled for battle. If Finn was going to attack, this would be the time. Spike mentally mapped out the positions of Finn's mates. Even though he was outnumbered and faced with an enemy who knew vampires, Spike was confident that he could rip through all of them if it came down to it.
Riley rubbed his throat where vivid red finger marks were starting to appear. "I had to know if you'd kill given a chance," Riley said, his voice rough.
"So, this was a test?" Spike snorted. Moron. They had more important business, and if Buffy came around the corner and found Finn in her town, she was going to throw a bloody fit.
Finn took a step forward, closing the distance between them and putting himself within Spike's reach. "If you do anything to hurt them, you'll spend eternity in a lab that makes Maggie Walsh's place look like the Ritz."
Spike narrowed his eyes. "Brave talk for a man I could kill as easily as a dormouse."
"You could," Finn agreed, "and you'd still spend eternity in that lab."
Spike cocked his head as he smelled the aggression and fear from Finn. "Then if we're clearing things up, let me make this clear." Spike stepped toward Finn so they were chest to chest. "If your bloody soldier-boys let Xander get so much as a stubbed toe, I'll turn you, Finn. I'll turn you and I'll spend eternity torturing you-soul or no." Spike smiled at the man and then he spun around and strode off quickly enough that Finn didn't have time for a comeback. Bloody cheeky of him, threatening Spike.
Giles was still managing to say nothing and Finn's pet shaman was staying mum as Spike came back into the alley. Buffy had an expression on her face that suggested she was considering slaying Giles if he didn't start talking.
"Just bloody tell her," Spike said as he strode toward them. Halvard was trying to disappear into the wall, but at least he wasn't running for it. It took balls to stick around when the slayer was brassed off, but then if he fancied Dawn, he'd better get used to scary women.
"Tell me what? Spike, what the hell is going on? And since when have you and Xander been touch-buddies?" Buffy turned toward him. Spike could still feel the pull, the desire to follow her. She was strong, so bloody strong, and Spike's instinct was to fight at her side. He stretched his neck one way and then the other as he reminded himself that Xander had just as much strength, even if he wasn't as quick to show it.
"We've lived together two bloody years, pet. At some point, we had to stop hating each other."
"That was not just not hating each other," Buffy said as she looked at him suspiciously.
"Talk to Xander if you want details, luv, not me. As far as that oracle goes, if Giles won't tell you the truth, I will."
"Now, we have no evidence that the oracle actually spoke the truth." Giles pulled his glasses off.
Spike was about to say something rude, but Vovka spoke up. "Have you found any research to suggest that Beljoxa's Eye would lie? Everything I have found suggests that it will either tell the truth or simply refuse to answer at all."
If it had been just Giles, the thing would have clammed up tighter than a virgin's knees, but Vovka knew how to handle demons. Spike looked at him suspiciously. The bugger knew demons just a little too well for a simple human.
"Which does not preclude finding another solution," Giles said, his voice tight.
"True enough," Spike agreed.
"Another solution than what?" Buffy demanded. "Someone needs to start talking or get that portal open again so I can start punching that thing until I get answers."
"Bringing you to life threw the whole universe out of balance and started an end-of-world prophesy," Spike answered.
Giles turned blotchy. The git had probably planned to lie to her. "According to a demon," he said peevishly.
"That matches with what Rack told me," Spike pointed out. Buffy was looking from one of them to another.
"Me? It's me?" Her voice sounded dangerously fragile.
"It was Red, luv," Spike said. "She killed an avatar as part of the spell."
"An avatar? You mean the deer?"
Spike rolled his eyes. It took more than a bloody deer to bring back the dead. His only question was whether Red knew that the deer was just a stand-in or if she'd been so bloody blinded by her need to bring Buffy back that she hadn't researched the spell enough.
Giles cleared his throat, and in that instant, Spike realized that he'd known the truth the whole time. Bloody moron. "Yes, well, that was a little more than actually… um… a deer."
Spike rolled his eyes. If Giles had called Willow on her bad habit of abusing magic when she'd first dragged Buffy out of heaven, he could have saved them a whole lot of trouble. Well, if Giles wouldn't tell the truth, Spike sure as hell would. "The deer was just a symbol. It takes a human life to return a human from the dead, luv. She may not have dragged some virgin out to the graveyard, but killing the deer allowed her magic to find a random person and drain his life force. Red committed murder. She was the good who committed the ultimate evil," Spike said without too much mercy. One day, he'd get pulled down into hell and pay for what he'd done-he faced that reality with as much calm as he could. If he could face his own evil, others bloody well could, too.
Buffy sagged back against the wall, her eyes searching for Giles. "Giles?"
Giles was cleaning his glasses. "I haven't actually reviewed the entire spell."
"Giles, did she kill someone?" Buffy's voice rose, and Spike noticed Halvard inching backwards, toward the far end of the alley. "Does she… I mean, on purpose?"
"I'm sure it wasn't intentional," Giles hurried to say. "The spell was in Sumerian, and the references to the avatar simply offered it as an alternative to human sacrifice. There's every reason to believe she simply believed the deer's life was sufficient in and of itself."
"Intentional or not, she committed an act of pure evil while trying to champion good. The door's open, luv, and as long as Red's evil continues, the door stays open. So, we have to deal with that."
"As long as it continues?" Buffy's gaze found his, and Spike watched as resignation replaced the confusion. "Her evil continues because her spell is still working," Buffy said softly. "It's because I'm alive, and I'm not supposed to be." She sank to the ground, her arms resting on her knees as her heart pounded so loudly that Spike could hear it like a drumbeat.
"It just means we need to get more creative, luv," Spike said. Buffy looked up at him with eyes that shone with despair.
Giles shuffled a bit. "Yes, well, now that we have some information, we can start researching."
"You found a weakness?" Buffy's voice had such hope that Spike could feel his own soul twisting in pain. Giles didn't answer; he stared at the ground and his shifting feet.
It was Vovka who answered. "We know where the enemy is coming from. Any information opens new avenues of research, so we might be able to look into some of the balance magics or nature magics to see if we can even the scales."
That seemed to put some steel in Rupert's spine. "Yes, quite right. We can research a number of new… um… avenues. While I appreciate your assistance, Vovka, I hope you'll respect that we are not ready to share resources with a new ally."
"I can understand that. Halvard's family can reach me if you need any assistance." Vovka looked around. "Where is Halvard?"
"He ran for the hills when things started to go pear-shaped," Spike said, nodding toward the far end of the alley.
"But…. He's a kid." Vovka's expression of horror was almost amusing.
"If he gets home without getting eaten, he's proved something then, hasn't he?" Spike asked. Vovka turned white, and Spike's soul gave him a twinge of guilt; however, Halvard was safe enough with most of the demons abandoning the Hellmouth faster than rats from a sinking ship. Besides, Vovka was one of Finn's boys, so Spike didn't feel any particular need to reassure him.
"I should make sure he gets home. His parents would worry if they thought he was out by himself." With an apologetic smile, Vovka went trotting toward the far end of the alley like the good little soldier-boy he really was. Personally, Spike figured Halvard's parents were probably more worried about their spawn spending time with the slayer and lusting after the slayer's sister. That sort of stupidity could get a demon killed.
"You should check on Xander." Buffy's voice was devoid of emotion.
"He'll be fine," Spike said without mentioning why he was so sure of that. Buffy didn't question him, but Giles gave him an odd look. Spike walked over to the wall and sat next to Buffy. "He's feeling like this is his fault. He wanted you back, so he figures if the world ends, he's to blame. Personally, I'm blaming Red."
"Spike," Buffy said with a sigh. Spike swallowed the rest of his complaints.
"We should get back to the house," Giles said in his best authoritative voice. Spike wondered if Buffy could hear just how strained his voice was. The man was panicked and doing his best to hide it, but after listening to Beljoxa's Eye describe the hole ripped between dimensions, he'd have to be a total moron to not feel a little fear. Even Spike figured he might be finding out about hell a little sooner than he'd expected, and the worst part was that Xander and Buffy wouldn't be with him. Oh, he didn't want them in hell, but he wasn't looking forward to being alone, either.
"In a minute," Buffy said. Spike scratched the wound where Finn had stabbed him and watched as Buffy and Giles stared each other down. "We'll be there in a while, Giles." Buffy pushed herself up from the ground, but she didn't move, and Giles eventually had to start nodding.
"Right then, I'll head back." Giles waited, as if he hoped Buffy would stop him or offer to go with him. Instead she watched as Giles headed out of the alley, walking like an old man. Giles turned the corner before Spike got to his feet, pulling at his shirt to hide the bloodstain.
"How bad is it, Spike?" Buffy whispered.
"Luv?"
Buffy turned to him. "I'm trusting you to tell me the truth, Spike. How bad is it?"
Spike sucked air in through his front teeth and wished he had cigarettes with him. He needed the distraction. "Pretty fucking bad," he admitted. "When Red committed evil in the name of good, after acting as a champion for good, she opened a hole. Bringing you back from the dead just ripped the hole bigger-too big for it to heal itself."
"If I'm dead, will that close the hole?"
Spike knew exactly what she was thinking. "Don't go there. Vovka asked, and Beljoxa's Eye said that wouldn't close the hole. You weren't the one who sinned, and you can't be the one to pay," Spike said firmly. "If you're dead, you're just leaving the rest of us to wander through the muck on our own." The fact was that she'd be in heaven-she'd be better off if she was dead, but Spike wasn't going to let her sacrifice herself, not again. Watching her fall from that tower had ripped his heart out the first time, and having her die pointlessly would be about more than his soul could take.
Buffy let out a shaky breath. "So what do we have to do, Spike?"
"Buffy?"
She caught her lip between her teeth and closed her eyes tightly. Then she took a deep breath and met his gaze. "Does Willow have to pay, then?"
Spike rocked back on his heels. From the tone, it sounded like she was willing to be the one who made Red pay. "Beljoxa's Eye said the same thing as Rack-evil has to commit and act of goodness-that's the only way to seal the rift."
Buffy's expression cracked, and for one blinding second, Spike could see the fear and the horror and the helplessness all lurking just below the surface. This might not be her fault, but she was carrying the guilt. She wasn't all that different from Xander in that sense.
"We'll figure this out," Spike promised. He had no idea how they'd solve this, but he'd seen this group face the impossible too many times to believe that the First could win. He had to believe that. The alternative wasn't anything he was willing to accept.
Buffy swallowed and leaned toward him. Spike didn't even think; he stepped forward and took her in his arm. She was shivering, and he tightened his embrace. They weren't right for each other, but their connection would always be there, right under the surface like a violin string still vibrating after the note was finished playing.
"We should go back to the house, luv," Spike said gently.
She didn't answer immediately. Instead, she leaned until he carried most of her weight. Spike just waited for her, confused about what might be running through her head. His soul might have improved his ability to understand people, but he still lived with a demon and a hundred years of seeing humanity as cattle. There was just this gap he couldn't always bridge.
"Xander and Giles will be waiting," she said.
"With bated breath," he agreed.
Buffy stepped back and looked at him before nodding. "Then we'd better get home to them." Turning, she headed toward the end of the alley, and Spike couldn't avoid thinking that he'd missed something… something he still didn't understand. Pushing that thought to the side, Spike followed her out of the alley, distantly cataloging the soldiers who crept through the shadows in their wake.
The Cost of Butterfly Kisses, Part 37
Fandom/Pairing: BtVS, Spike/Xander
Rated: ADULT
Taming the Muse: Explosion
It's time for the drama with the First to come to an end, but before that can happen, the gang has to figure out what's going on.
( Chapter One... ) ( Chapter Two... ) ( Chapter Three... ) ( Chapter Four... ) ( Chapter Five ) ( Chapter Six ) ( Chapter 7 ) ( Chapter 8 ) ( Chapter Nine ) ( Chapter Ten ) ( Chapter Eleven ) ( Chapter Twelve ) ( Chapter Thirteen ) ( Chapter 14 . ) ( Chapter 15 ) ( Chapter 16 ) ( Chapter 17 ) ( Chapter 18 ) ( Chapter 19 ) ( Chapter 20 ) ( Chapter 21 ) ( Chapter 22 ) ( Chapter 23 ) ( Chapter 24 ) ( Chapter 25 ) ( Chapter 26 ) ( Chapter 27 ) ( Chapter 28 ) ( Chapter 29 ) ( Chapter 30 ) ( Chapter 31 ) ( Chapter 32 ) ( Chapter 33 ) ( Chapter 34 ) ( Chapter 35 ) ( Chapter 36 )
"Now, luv," Spike said as he caught Xander's arm. Xander's eyes were puffy and red, and Spike suspected that he was about to start crying. Truth was, Spike wasn't even sure he could blame Xander; it wasn't easy to hear that you had accidentally caused an Armageddon. Well, contributed, anyway. Spike was blaming this one on Red's manipulation and Tara's inability to tell her girl to sod off.
Xander tried to pull his arm away from Spike as Giles, Halvard and Vovka came out of the portal, but Spike hung on.
The portal spell had refused to let Buffy in, and now she was waiting for a report, her arms crossed. "Well? What's the news?"
Xander shied away from her as though she'd be able to see straight into his heart and see his guilt.
"It's not your fault, luv," Spike said. He hadn't exactly intended on telling the Watcher or Buffy about his relationship this way, but Xander looked about ready to fly into a thousand pieces, and Spike wasn't going to stand on the sidelines and let the boy blame himself. Spike pulled him close despite Xander's desperate flailing.
"Spike," Giles said wearily.
"Sod off," Spike suggested. "It's not near as bad as all that," Spike lied. That made Xander stop squirming and just look at him with this expression of pain and self-hate that made Spike's soul curl up like a bug in the hot sun.
"Just…." Xander looked around wildly. "You tell her," Xander whispered. He tried to pull his arm away, but Spike held on and started dragging Xander toward home.
"Let the others deal with this rot," Spike said. He might love both Buffy and Xander, but he'd made his choice. Rupert would stay with Buffy, but Xander only had him. Red was sure to go on a guilt trip of her own and drag the boy in with her, and Spike didn't entirely trust Tara to stop that particular train wreck.
They'd nearly reached the end of the alley when Xander reached out and caught the edge of the building. "Spike, no," Xander said. The others were still standing near where the portal had reopened, watching. Buffy's mouth was hanging open, so Spike was guessing she'd figured something out. "Spike, Buffy needs you," Xander said.
"You need me more," Spike countered.
Xander closed his eyes and leaned closer. For a second, he rested his weight against Spike, weariness and pain coloring his scent while his body heat soaked into Spike. "Yes, I do," Xander admitted. "But I can't be okay with needing you until I know Buffy's okay, and I just really can't face her. I can't, Spike." Xander's confession, given in a rough whisper, tore at Spike's soul. Xander had always tried to do the right thing. He was the first to admit that he sometimes failed, but the universe had played a nasty prank this time. "Please, take care of her. Please, Spike," Xander begged.
"Fine," Spike reluctantly agreed. He looked in the shadows, and a familiar face was watching. "But I'm coming back just as soon as she's sorted," Spike said.
Xander nodded. "Doritos, beer and country music."
"Wot?" Spike tilted his head.
"Guilt night," Xander said with a shrug. "Bring Doritos, beer, and actually, I have the country music."
Spike grimaced at the thought of a night getting his ears rotted out by that shite, but he had to admit the boy had earned a little wallowing. "Right then, just don't expect me to buy American piss water beer," he warned. "So, you're going straight home?"
Xander nodded, but Spike suspected that he was lying. It was hard to tell because his scent was so layered with misery that the tell-tale sour of his deceit couldn't come through, but Spike figured he needed time away from all those potentials.
"Be careful then," Spike said as he let Xander go. Xander left his hand on Spike's arm for a second before he turned to walk toward home. Of course, there were any number of parks for him to make a pit stop. Spike moved to the end of the alley and watched Xander drift toward the corner. The others could wait until Spike had a chance to see Xander taken care of. Spike moved farther away from the alley, keeping eye contact with the figure from the shadows. If the prat thought he could hide from a vampire, he was even stupider than Spike expected.
When Xander turned the corner, Finn finally drifted out of the shadows and trotted over toward Spike, his eyes on the mouth of the alley. Clearly he didn't want to have Buffy catch him lurking around corners.
"She's not coming, not yet anyway," Spike said.
"What happened?" Finn asked, but Spike didn't answer. He wasn't the git's messenger.
"Have someone keep an eye on him," Spike said with a nod toward Xander. "He's not thinking straight right now."
"Why?" Finn repeated without even trying to hide his suspicion.
Spike glared at him. With a sigh, Finn reached for his radio. "Delta, take the moat."
Spike raised an eyebrow. "Moat?"
Finn shrugged. "When I briefed them, I said you had to get past Xander if you planned to get close to the girls, and sometimes there was more under the surface of the water than you might think."
Spike pursed his lips. It was true enough, but he hadn't expected Finn to have that particular insight. "Xander's covered, Spike, so what the hell is going on? Did you get the intel on why the First is here?"
"Yep, your pet mage can fill you in," Spike suggested with a nasty tone. He turned to walk away, and Finn caught his arm.
"What the hell is going on?"
Spike snarled as he glared at Finn. "Might want to move your hand, mate. I'm not on the leash anymore." It was the only warning Spike intended to give the git. Even now, his demon raged at the injustice of a weak bit of prey like Finn having the balls to touch him.
"Then why are you here?" Finn asked. He took several seconds to pull his hand back, making it clear that he wasn't going to flinch away from Spike, even if he recognized the monster in front of him.
"I don't answer to you." In the distance, Spike could hear Buffy's voice and Giles' stuttered answers. He needed to get back there before Vovka told her what the oracle had said. That was going to be a right explosion when she figured out that evil was slouching its way toward Bethlehem because she'd been brought back to life.
Spike had turned away when Finn's voice stopped him. "Is Xander addicted to the bite?"
Slowly turning back toward the soldier, Spike studied him with yellow eyes. "That's more your preference than his," Spike said with a smirk.
"Yes, it was," Finn agreed, and that caught admission Spike off guard. "That's why I know just how hard it is to break that habit. If you've gotten him addicted to the bite, that's not affection. That's addiction."
Spike crossed his arms. "Never bit him except when the First was clomping through my brain with his hob-nailed boots. I can make him cry out in pleasure in other ways." Spike looked Finn up and down as though considering him. Spike would cut off his own dick before he'd touch Finn, but good, corn-fed heterosexuals tended to flee from any challenge to their masculinity, and right now Spike needed Finn out of his face or the man was going to end up dead.
Instead of retreating, Finn took a step forward. "I'm giving you a pass because of Buffy and Xander-"
Spike darted forward, his hands reaching out. Without a second's hesitation, Finn reached for a weapon. He was good-good enough that Spike barely caught the man's wrist before he ended up with a tazer in his gut. Instead, Spike slammed Finn's hand against the brick building. The tazer clattered to the ground, but Finn twisted around, and a thin piece of wood sunk deep into Spike's gut. Maybe a fledge would let pain or fear distract them, but Spike was a master vampire. Fact was, this felt good. Pressing closer to Finn so that he used his whole body to trap the man against the building, he wrapped a hand around the soldier's neck.
Spike could hear four people moving into position, but Finn gestured, and Spike could hear them stop. Interesting. Soldier boy didn't think he needed backup. Spike leaned close so that he could smell the soap and desire clinging to Finn's skin. Oh yeah, the git remembered the bite. "Do you want to push until I'll sink my teeth into you?" Spike whispered in Riley's ear. "Is that your game? Do you envy Xander? Do you wonder how he managed to earn a spot in my bed? Is that why you told your mates to back off?" Spike tightened his hold on Finn's neck just enough to remind the man that Spike could easily kill him. "You aren't as strong as him or Buffy or Drusilla or Angelus. So, until you think you can compete with them, you'd better watch your step around me, pet," Spike said in an overly friendly voice intended to warn Finn that he was treading on fucking dangerous ground. Spike's soul and his demon pulled at him, each demanding a different sort of satisfaction.
Instead of taking revenge, Spike let Finn go and took a step back, his body coiled for battle. If Finn was going to attack, this would be the time. Spike mentally mapped out the positions of Finn's mates. Even though he was outnumbered and faced with an enemy who knew vampires, Spike was confident that he could rip through all of them if it came down to it.
Riley rubbed his throat where vivid red finger marks were starting to appear. "I had to know if you'd kill given a chance," Riley said, his voice rough.
"So, this was a test?" Spike snorted. Moron. They had more important business, and if Buffy came around the corner and found Finn in her town, she was going to throw a bloody fit.
Finn took a step forward, closing the distance between them and putting himself within Spike's reach. "If you do anything to hurt them, you'll spend eternity in a lab that makes Maggie Walsh's place look like the Ritz."
Spike narrowed his eyes. "Brave talk for a man I could kill as easily as a dormouse."
"You could," Finn agreed, "and you'd still spend eternity in that lab."
Spike cocked his head as he smelled the aggression and fear from Finn. "Then if we're clearing things up, let me make this clear." Spike stepped toward Finn so they were chest to chest. "If your bloody soldier-boys let Xander get so much as a stubbed toe, I'll turn you, Finn. I'll turn you and I'll spend eternity torturing you-soul or no." Spike smiled at the man and then he spun around and strode off quickly enough that Finn didn't have time for a comeback. Bloody cheeky of him, threatening Spike.
Giles was still managing to say nothing and Finn's pet shaman was staying mum as Spike came back into the alley. Buffy had an expression on her face that suggested she was considering slaying Giles if he didn't start talking.
"Just bloody tell her," Spike said as he strode toward them. Halvard was trying to disappear into the wall, but at least he wasn't running for it. It took balls to stick around when the slayer was brassed off, but then if he fancied Dawn, he'd better get used to scary women.
"Tell me what? Spike, what the hell is going on? And since when have you and Xander been touch-buddies?" Buffy turned toward him. Spike could still feel the pull, the desire to follow her. She was strong, so bloody strong, and Spike's instinct was to fight at her side. He stretched his neck one way and then the other as he reminded himself that Xander had just as much strength, even if he wasn't as quick to show it.
"We've lived together two bloody years, pet. At some point, we had to stop hating each other."
"That was not just not hating each other," Buffy said as she looked at him suspiciously.
"Talk to Xander if you want details, luv, not me. As far as that oracle goes, if Giles won't tell you the truth, I will."
"Now, we have no evidence that the oracle actually spoke the truth." Giles pulled his glasses off.
Spike was about to say something rude, but Vovka spoke up. "Have you found any research to suggest that Beljoxa's Eye would lie? Everything I have found suggests that it will either tell the truth or simply refuse to answer at all."
If it had been just Giles, the thing would have clammed up tighter than a virgin's knees, but Vovka knew how to handle demons. Spike looked at him suspiciously. The bugger knew demons just a little too well for a simple human.
"Which does not preclude finding another solution," Giles said, his voice tight.
"True enough," Spike agreed.
"Another solution than what?" Buffy demanded. "Someone needs to start talking or get that portal open again so I can start punching that thing until I get answers."
"Bringing you to life threw the whole universe out of balance and started an end-of-world prophesy," Spike answered.
Giles turned blotchy. The git had probably planned to lie to her. "According to a demon," he said peevishly.
"That matches with what Rack told me," Spike pointed out. Buffy was looking from one of them to another.
"Me? It's me?" Her voice sounded dangerously fragile.
"It was Red, luv," Spike said. "She killed an avatar as part of the spell."
"An avatar? You mean the deer?"
Spike rolled his eyes. It took more than a bloody deer to bring back the dead. His only question was whether Red knew that the deer was just a stand-in or if she'd been so bloody blinded by her need to bring Buffy back that she hadn't researched the spell enough.
Giles cleared his throat, and in that instant, Spike realized that he'd known the truth the whole time. Bloody moron. "Yes, well, that was a little more than actually… um… a deer."
Spike rolled his eyes. If Giles had called Willow on her bad habit of abusing magic when she'd first dragged Buffy out of heaven, he could have saved them a whole lot of trouble. Well, if Giles wouldn't tell the truth, Spike sure as hell would. "The deer was just a symbol. It takes a human life to return a human from the dead, luv. She may not have dragged some virgin out to the graveyard, but killing the deer allowed her magic to find a random person and drain his life force. Red committed murder. She was the good who committed the ultimate evil," Spike said without too much mercy. One day, he'd get pulled down into hell and pay for what he'd done-he faced that reality with as much calm as he could. If he could face his own evil, others bloody well could, too.
Buffy sagged back against the wall, her eyes searching for Giles. "Giles?"
Giles was cleaning his glasses. "I haven't actually reviewed the entire spell."
"Giles, did she kill someone?" Buffy's voice rose, and Spike noticed Halvard inching backwards, toward the far end of the alley. "Does she… I mean, on purpose?"
"I'm sure it wasn't intentional," Giles hurried to say. "The spell was in Sumerian, and the references to the avatar simply offered it as an alternative to human sacrifice. There's every reason to believe she simply believed the deer's life was sufficient in and of itself."
"Intentional or not, she committed an act of pure evil while trying to champion good. The door's open, luv, and as long as Red's evil continues, the door stays open. So, we have to deal with that."
"As long as it continues?" Buffy's gaze found his, and Spike watched as resignation replaced the confusion. "Her evil continues because her spell is still working," Buffy said softly. "It's because I'm alive, and I'm not supposed to be." She sank to the ground, her arms resting on her knees as her heart pounded so loudly that Spike could hear it like a drumbeat.
"It just means we need to get more creative, luv," Spike said. Buffy looked up at him with eyes that shone with despair.
Giles shuffled a bit. "Yes, well, now that we have some information, we can start researching."
"You found a weakness?" Buffy's voice had such hope that Spike could feel his own soul twisting in pain. Giles didn't answer; he stared at the ground and his shifting feet.
It was Vovka who answered. "We know where the enemy is coming from. Any information opens new avenues of research, so we might be able to look into some of the balance magics or nature magics to see if we can even the scales."
That seemed to put some steel in Rupert's spine. "Yes, quite right. We can research a number of new… um… avenues. While I appreciate your assistance, Vovka, I hope you'll respect that we are not ready to share resources with a new ally."
"I can understand that. Halvard's family can reach me if you need any assistance." Vovka looked around. "Where is Halvard?"
"He ran for the hills when things started to go pear-shaped," Spike said, nodding toward the far end of the alley.
"But…. He's a kid." Vovka's expression of horror was almost amusing.
"If he gets home without getting eaten, he's proved something then, hasn't he?" Spike asked. Vovka turned white, and Spike's soul gave him a twinge of guilt; however, Halvard was safe enough with most of the demons abandoning the Hellmouth faster than rats from a sinking ship. Besides, Vovka was one of Finn's boys, so Spike didn't feel any particular need to reassure him.
"I should make sure he gets home. His parents would worry if they thought he was out by himself." With an apologetic smile, Vovka went trotting toward the far end of the alley like the good little soldier-boy he really was. Personally, Spike figured Halvard's parents were probably more worried about their spawn spending time with the slayer and lusting after the slayer's sister. That sort of stupidity could get a demon killed.
"You should check on Xander." Buffy's voice was devoid of emotion.
"He'll be fine," Spike said without mentioning why he was so sure of that. Buffy didn't question him, but Giles gave him an odd look. Spike walked over to the wall and sat next to Buffy. "He's feeling like this is his fault. He wanted you back, so he figures if the world ends, he's to blame. Personally, I'm blaming Red."
"Spike," Buffy said with a sigh. Spike swallowed the rest of his complaints.
"We should get back to the house," Giles said in his best authoritative voice. Spike wondered if Buffy could hear just how strained his voice was. The man was panicked and doing his best to hide it, but after listening to Beljoxa's Eye describe the hole ripped between dimensions, he'd have to be a total moron to not feel a little fear. Even Spike figured he might be finding out about hell a little sooner than he'd expected, and the worst part was that Xander and Buffy wouldn't be with him. Oh, he didn't want them in hell, but he wasn't looking forward to being alone, either.
"In a minute," Buffy said. Spike scratched the wound where Finn had stabbed him and watched as Buffy and Giles stared each other down. "We'll be there in a while, Giles." Buffy pushed herself up from the ground, but she didn't move, and Giles eventually had to start nodding.
"Right then, I'll head back." Giles waited, as if he hoped Buffy would stop him or offer to go with him. Instead she watched as Giles headed out of the alley, walking like an old man. Giles turned the corner before Spike got to his feet, pulling at his shirt to hide the bloodstain.
"How bad is it, Spike?" Buffy whispered.
"Luv?"
Buffy turned to him. "I'm trusting you to tell me the truth, Spike. How bad is it?"
Spike sucked air in through his front teeth and wished he had cigarettes with him. He needed the distraction. "Pretty fucking bad," he admitted. "When Red committed evil in the name of good, after acting as a champion for good, she opened a hole. Bringing you back from the dead just ripped the hole bigger-too big for it to heal itself."
"If I'm dead, will that close the hole?"
Spike knew exactly what she was thinking. "Don't go there. Vovka asked, and Beljoxa's Eye said that wouldn't close the hole. You weren't the one who sinned, and you can't be the one to pay," Spike said firmly. "If you're dead, you're just leaving the rest of us to wander through the muck on our own." The fact was that she'd be in heaven-she'd be better off if she was dead, but Spike wasn't going to let her sacrifice herself, not again. Watching her fall from that tower had ripped his heart out the first time, and having her die pointlessly would be about more than his soul could take.
Buffy let out a shaky breath. "So what do we have to do, Spike?"
"Buffy?"
She caught her lip between her teeth and closed her eyes tightly. Then she took a deep breath and met his gaze. "Does Willow have to pay, then?"
Spike rocked back on his heels. From the tone, it sounded like she was willing to be the one who made Red pay. "Beljoxa's Eye said the same thing as Rack-evil has to commit and act of goodness-that's the only way to seal the rift."
Buffy's expression cracked, and for one blinding second, Spike could see the fear and the horror and the helplessness all lurking just below the surface. This might not be her fault, but she was carrying the guilt. She wasn't all that different from Xander in that sense.
"We'll figure this out," Spike promised. He had no idea how they'd solve this, but he'd seen this group face the impossible too many times to believe that the First could win. He had to believe that. The alternative wasn't anything he was willing to accept.
Buffy swallowed and leaned toward him. Spike didn't even think; he stepped forward and took her in his arm. She was shivering, and he tightened his embrace. They weren't right for each other, but their connection would always be there, right under the surface like a violin string still vibrating after the note was finished playing.
"We should go back to the house, luv," Spike said gently.
She didn't answer immediately. Instead, she leaned until he carried most of her weight. Spike just waited for her, confused about what might be running through her head. His soul might have improved his ability to understand people, but he still lived with a demon and a hundred years of seeing humanity as cattle. There was just this gap he couldn't always bridge.
"Xander and Giles will be waiting," she said.
"With bated breath," he agreed.
Buffy stepped back and looked at him before nodding. "Then we'd better get home to them." Turning, she headed toward the end of the alley, and Spike couldn't avoid thinking that he'd missed something… something he still didn't understand. Pushing that thought to the side, Spike followed her out of the alley, distantly cataloging the soldiers who crept through the shadows in their wake.