3 Fathoms Down ☠ Fourth Wall/Action

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[Jack? Is drinking in Good Spirits. He might be really potted at this point. Also he has no idea what is going on.]

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[ellojellohello]

[Suddenly, next to you in the bar there is a jello mold. It's rum raisin, Jack. And it's staring at you.]

Rum raisin can kiss my ass.

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[Jack is trying to ignore this rum raisin jello mold, because he is not certain whether or not it is the kind of jello mold that manifests from madness, or the other kind.

Which also manifests from madness.]

[ellojellohello]

[Staring at yooooooooooou, Jack.

Not even for the rum, mate? Give it a chance?]

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You realize, rum cake, that if I have my way with you and devour you, you'll cease to exist?

[ellojellohello]

[It is jello, after all. Being eaten is its purpose in life. There's always room for jello!

If jello could look hopeful, it would.]

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Well there's no need to look so HAPPY about oblivion, sir. [Rum rum rum rum rum drinking rum.] Oblivion's no treat, I'll tell you that much.

.....

Are those currants sitting proudly atop your head? ...Top? Head thing?

[ellojellohello]

[They are indeed, Jack. It wasn't exactly the jello's idea.

...seeing as the jello doesn't have ideas. It's just jello. Staring at you. Waiting to be eaten.]

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But who could have placed you there, is what I'm wondering. Why. Why here? Why now. Makes no manner of sense....

...Currants.

[ellojellohello]

[Currants and rum. And rum.

...but yes. Currants.

And the jello has no answers for your questions, Jack. Might as well ask after the great mystery of the universe. That, it might be able to help you with.

...Also, it will fill your belly. Om nom nom?]

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What if it's all a trick? Meant to poison or shame?

[ellojellohello]

[It is jello! After school-favorite of jello everywhere and that one dish that... you know, you bring to new neighbors and stuff. It would NEVER be poison!]

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[Almost overcome with curiosity more than hunger, the pirate reaches out one finger for a taste, sliding it across the edge of the dessert.]

[ellojellohello]

[The jello jiggles at the touch. As jello does. Jiggle, jiggle.]

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[The pirate draws his dagger. This tastes...rum-like. And spicy. And delicious. He stabs directly down the center of the jello.]

[ellojellohello]

[Gah! So violent, Jack!

But the jello is jello. And it doesn't do more than quiver. And jiggle. As jello does.]

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[And proceeds to dismember the jello even more violently, until finally retrieving a bite-sized piece on the top of the dagger. Which he eats.]

Hmmm...