3 Fathoms Down ☠ Fourth Wall/Action

[lists_to_port]

[Jack? Is drinking in Good Spirits. He might be really potted at this point. Also he has no idea what is going on.]

Comments

[brewducation]

[Hey captain, that bottle of alcohol that you're drinking from? The one those little white blobs are coming out of? Yeah, they're there.

Are you drunk?]

[lists_to_port]

.......Am I drunk?

[brewducation]

[No, you're not drunk. Or maybe you are, 'cause they're looking right. At. YOU.]

Ah, it's a shaggy-looking human. Who are you?

[lists_to_port]

We're Jack Sparrow, mate. Captain Jack Sparrow. And yourself?

1/2

[brewducation]

I am oryzae, a yeast that you humans use in sake. We're the ones that turn starch into sugar to brew!

We turn starch into sugar!

We turn starch into sugar!

We turn starch into sugar!

2/2

[brewducation]

[And now it's the white blob's turn.]

We are cerevisiae, microbes that help make alcohol.

We do that by eating the sugar the oryzaes make, and pooping out alcohol.

I ate sugar and alcohol came out!

Basically, you're drinking us~!

[lists_to_port]

...............What.

[brewducation]

It's true, it's true!

It's what we do best!

[And now they're swarming over onto your shoulders and into your hair. Several of them are now playing on your hat.]

[lists_to_port]

Oi! Small alcoholic friends: Captain Jack Sparrow respectfully requests that you leave him and his fetches alone! Just get him drunk without all the spectacle, if you please!

[brewducation]

Aww, but we were having fun. [they'll just wait till you pass out and play with your nosehair instead.]

We can do that. All you have to do is keep on drinking us!

That's right, drink us! Keep drinking! Drink! Drink! Drink!

[Look no further captain, just follow the trail of cerevisiaes pouring out from the shelves and barrels.]

[lists_to_port]

Right! I might as well be drunk as not, for all the sense that this is making!

[So Jack drinks more. And slips almost in slow motion down to the sticky floor of the bar.]

O spirits of drink---might you be acquainted with the spirits of peanuts? Shouldn't have attempted you with no food in my belly.

[brewducation]

Peanuts? Mmm, nope! We don't know any microbes that brew in peanuts.

But we know other microbes that like to brew in food.

[Enter the yogurti microbe with a topknot.]

Greetings Captain Jack, I am Yogurti -de gozaru. [/bows] I am most commonly found in yogurt from Japan. What do you wish to eat -de gozaru? Is it: yogurt, cheese, bread, kimchi, surströmming, tsukemono, or sauerkraut?

[lists_to_port]

[WTH?]

Yes! No! Pass! [Jack falls over.]

[brewducation]

1/2

[lists_to_port]

[lists_to_port]

Aye.