In Which I Had To Stop Looking To Find The Answer To This Silly Question
I've been asking everyone the same question for like a month.
When Chase takes me to get orange chicken and coconut ice cream, I ask him. When I get home and drop my bag on the floor at my parents' house, and they ask me why I keep sighing, I ask them. Tommy badgers me and I ask him. I ask Emily and Ames.
And it's a selfish question.
But really--I want to know why ME. Why it's always ME to people. Why there are a bunch of people who call me their "person" and a handful who are in love with me and a gaggle of gays who are attracted to me and get all glittery and flushed about it and why somehow I keep ending up as that THING in so many people's lives.
And lots of people have been giving me good answers, good information. But nobody gave me the answer that sat right, that went right through the hole into my brain and settled perfectly there.
Yesterday Brian and I were sitting in Living Prophets, and we matched, because I had an orange dress on and he had an orange polo shirt on. After class he asked me for the gossip and I gave him the story of Carson, straight-up, and he oooed and aaahhed and exclaimed because it IS a rather interesting story and Brian and I are very similar so we find similar things very interesting.
And he said something like does this always happen with people
and I said yes
and I smiled witheringly and actually for some reason didn't ask him why he thought that was. Just kept walking. Good old Julie, always being that person.
And he turns to me and goes
You know why I think this always happens to you?
And then my jaw fell off my face and I stood in the nice afternoon sun and said PLEASE TELL ME!!!!!!!!
And he said.
Are you doing all these things are you reading are you praying are you going to church are you taking the sacrament?
And I said, yes.
And he said then the Lord is using you as a tool.
He's using you as a tool in the lives of other people.
And that sat well with me. I want to help other people, it makes me happy. I am glad that Brian said that and can only hope that that is what I am doing and that that is something I can continue to do.
When Chase takes me to get orange chicken and coconut ice cream, I ask him. When I get home and drop my bag on the floor at my parents' house, and they ask me why I keep sighing, I ask them. Tommy badgers me and I ask him. I ask Emily and Ames.
And it's a selfish question.
But really--I want to know why ME. Why it's always ME to people. Why there are a bunch of people who call me their "person" and a handful who are in love with me and a gaggle of gays who are attracted to me and get all glittery and flushed about it and why somehow I keep ending up as that THING in so many people's lives.
And lots of people have been giving me good answers, good information. But nobody gave me the answer that sat right, that went right through the hole into my brain and settled perfectly there.
Yesterday Brian and I were sitting in Living Prophets, and we matched, because I had an orange dress on and he had an orange polo shirt on. After class he asked me for the gossip and I gave him the story of Carson, straight-up, and he oooed and aaahhed and exclaimed because it IS a rather interesting story and Brian and I are very similar so we find similar things very interesting.
And he said something like does this always happen with people
and I said yes
and I smiled witheringly and actually for some reason didn't ask him why he thought that was. Just kept walking. Good old Julie, always being that person.
And he turns to me and goes
You know why I think this always happens to you?
And then my jaw fell off my face and I stood in the nice afternoon sun and said PLEASE TELL ME!!!!!!!!
And he said.
Are you doing all these things are you reading are you praying are you going to church are you taking the sacrament?
And I said, yes.
And he said then the Lord is using you as a tool.
He's using you as a tool in the lives of other people.
And that sat well with me. I want to help other people, it makes me happy. I am glad that Brian said that and can only hope that that is what I am doing and that that is something I can continue to do.