i might just do it
this is the worst thing that could have happened to me at this point of my life. my car broke down. i hope that it is just my battery, but i cant check the battery because i dont have a car to drive the battery to the auto parts store to check it. i cant get a new battery at the store either. i cant even afford one. this second of my life, i wish i would die. fucking every single day is filled by work and school, no time to fix it even if i had a second car. i dont have a ride home from the bus stop. its about 3 or four miles from my house. ive got too much shit pulling at me at the same time. i had to cancell 2 job interviews because of my car. i just found out my job is only 4 weeks long, meaning i am fucked for money. this little bitch i live with has his mom convinced i am doing drugs so she wants to kick me out unless i can somehow find the time and money to take a drug test. im broke as fuck. if i get kicked out i dont have a place to put all my shit, or to take showers and wash my clothes. i will live in my car but i NEED showers and clean clothes. i want to kill myself. i am being pushed over the edge of this bridge i am about to jump from. i have been praying so hard, then my car breaks down. i dont want to live. my sister was conned into signing papers for some bullshit modeling thing and now she has to pay 2000 dollars. our mom and step dad are threatening a divorce and blaming Jaki for it. she gave them all of her saved money she had saved for almost a year, but its not enough. i hurt so much for her. i dont want to deal with shit. i want to give up. i try so fucking hard, not because i want to but because i am forced to if i want to survive, but i dont want to survive. fuck everything.
less important facts: despite all my friends i feel lonely as hell, i cant make progress with anyone i have feelings for, i cant stand my own personality and cant change no matter how hard i try, and i cant decide whether im moving back to clearwater or not.
people with chronic depression should NOT be born poor, because they WILL kill themselves. i WILL kill myself.
less important facts: despite all my friends i feel lonely as hell, i cant make progress with anyone i have feelings for, i cant stand my own personality and cant change no matter how hard i try, and i cant decide whether im moving back to clearwater or not.
people with chronic depression should NOT be born poor, because they WILL kill themselves. i WILL kill myself.