May 07, 2006 18:30
dangit. i hate social eating events. i'd fasted since 2 yesterday to 3:30 today [just water], and in doing so skipped a picnic [anti-social me], and then my friends invited me to a free picnic downstairs in our hall. i started off with just some chips and salsa, pickles, and then eventually felt pressured to eat a massive sandwich like everyone else.
1065 calories.
i hate myself.
why can't i be controlled like everyone else?
i'll never be pretty. i'll never be thin. i'm doomed to ugliness because i let my stomach call the shots rather than my mind. my life sucks.