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[lissie_pissie]

I have started like three shorts and I hate all of them.
So I ask you, in the spirit of my Halloween deadline,

What is the scariest thought to you?No, really. And don't be afraid to get absolutely morbid disgusting on me. Want. The more fucked-up, the better. What's your biggest fear, your biggest dread, your biggest worry, worst recurring dream,

Comments

[cateyes8588]

I have a very serious fear of death. I know that not many people LIKE the idea of death. But I have been afraid of it since I was very small and was watching the movie Pollyanna. In the middle of the priest's sermon for no reason I "realized" the concept of not being alive one day, and the total lack of control and there is nothing that can prevent it. I love the movie Pollyanna, but I have never watched that sermon again. I try to control everything in my life, but death I can't. I can't imagine being told I have 6 months to live or something, I would never handle it. The unknown abyss, the idea of forgetting my life, the idea of my life being meaningless....it constantly test's my faith. The word 'forever' triggers fear since I can't imagine anything really REALLY be forever..it is forever..thats...no end

forever....

Sometimes, right before I fall asleep at night, that realization of death coming for me one day hits me so hard I scream and am out of bed and standing in my room breathing and my heart is pounding and the walls...just don't seem real and UGH. Even talking about it. Sometimes my passion for my celebrities and my obsessive tendencies are my way of distracting myself. I could totally sit in a corner and scream and cry and repeat "you will die, you will die" over and over if I hadn't decided early on to fill my life and mind with many many other things.

Some other fears: Killing an animal with my car, especially a deer or a cat. I would run into a tree or another car first, and if I DID kill a deer or whatnot I would be inconsolable.

My house burning down and all of my stuff disintegrating. That is probably beyond materialistic but the idea of my collections, from fandom to my serious collections of hansa animals and school buses being lost forever. I have lists and catalogs of everything I own.

My computer crashing. Goes with the above fear of just LOSING my pictures, my videos, my digital art. I have three external hard drives and am paranoid of this. I lost my applications once when my hard drive exploded and cried myself to sleep for weeks.

The dark, I can't even walk up the stairs in my house at night. It is ridiculous.

Insects, spiders - totally girlie here, I just fucking hate bugs dnw dnw. especially fucking millipedes. no. just no.

Deep water, not because of JAWS or anything lame, but I do not like not being able to see where my feet are thus I hate the beaches where I live (mid-east coast).

Things in my eyes. Can't wear contacts and I will LITERALLY drop everything and have a mini little panic, even in public, if I get an eyelash in there. I can't deal with eyelash curlers or mascara. I have a really hard time with eye liner on my bottom lid. This comes from having had three corneal(sp?) abrasions.

Finding a dead body. Oh god. D:

This is slightly weird. A friend of mine and I have a terrible fear of having something happen to our nipples. Like them being bitten or clawed or ripped off or anything. It makes no sense, and has no deep meaning or reason. Just...nipples shouldn't get ripped off :(

Animal abuse, of any kind. I see it or read about it and can't stop it and I know it goes on every second of every day and the thought makes me sick. SICK.

Ok, I am done writing you a book. I gave you a bunch since I saw others list many...but my big and true crippling fear is death.