"Art! What a concept! It saved my life! A place where you can do as you please!"
AHHHHH JKSDFJDFS ;KL;JS L;KJSF;LAJS DFLK;JAS DFL;AJS D;FLJ AS;FJA.
SO IN LOVE WITH LIFE RIGHT NOW.
Will write about it in obnoxious locked detail tomorrow when I am not about to die of sleep deprivation, but this has been such a gorgeous weekend!! I was asked to shoot a film fest's last screening and after party last night, there was a red carpet and everything. Fuck. I know it's not NY or LA, I know it's just this Midwest state but it's SUCH a start, my god. And there were people there that I actually knew, it blew my mind because I went all by myself. I spent a majority of the night with Scott, who was one of our actors on the movie, he is SUCH a joy to be around, I don't think I ever stopped smiling after we met up & stuck. I was so glad he was there. And I met amazing new people! A flamboyantly fun editor, a 56 year old woman who is spunky as fuck and so brilliantly honest, EVERYONE IS SO MUCH FUN AND I FEEL SO FUCKING LOVED. Like, I just met these people and they were hugging me constantly and thanking me all night and opening up to me immediately - "I don't usually tell people this, but..." ♥ I couldn't even sleep last night when I got home because I was so fucking happy and fulfilled and in my element.
And then today! They were shooting the movie on Fri/Sat but I didn't go because I had other shit to shoot and I didn't feel like driving that far. But I went today and SERIOUSLY I DIDN'T EVEN EXPECT PEOPLE TO NOTICE/CARE THAT I'D BEEN MIA BUT I COULD TELL THEY ALL DID JUST BY HOW THEY REACTED WHEN THEY EACH FIRST SAW ME. KILLED ME KILLED ME FUCKING KILLED ME. SO many hugs and "Oh my god, you're here!" and "WELCOME BACK!!" and "Where have you been?!"s. Seriously. I don't mean to sound all, ~omg everyone loves me~, I'm reading it back and it kind of sounds like that but I swear I was genuinely stunned and that's why I'm freaking out about it. Maybe it's because towards the end of our August shoot, I felt like I was always frustrating people so I figured they'd be glad I wasn't there and just wouldn't question it. So to see them so happy to see me blew my mind - again, I felt SO fucking loved and appreciated. And oh my god, Marc, yesterday he asked Jason where I was because "he was lacking in stimulating conversation" since I wasn't there. AND THAT IS AMAZING BECAUSE I LOVE MARC AND I SAY THE SAME SHIT ABOUT HIM. One time at the production office everyone was upsetting me and I asked Jason, "Is Marc here? Because I need to be around a smart person for just five fucking minutes." GOD. And the producer's kid, she started talking to me about dance! And she was freaking out because she has to learn an Illusion before her recital so I showed her and she asked me if I could do a bunch of different turns and sdflhas. AND SHE WANTS TO BE A PHOTOGRAPHER WHEN SHE GROWS UP. ♥ ♥ SPEAKING OF. OH MY GOD, CHARLIE WAS THERE, AND HE SHOOTS TOO AND HE LET ME PLAY WITH HIS THINGS KLJHS DFHJKLA JAKSF A RING FLASH SWEET BABY JESUS, WANT. HE IS SO FUCKING NICE, TEACHING ME THINGS AND NOT BEING JUDGMENTAL BECAUSE I DON'T ALREADY KNOW THEM. AND THEN HE ASKED ME TO SHOOT HIM IN THIS AMAZING WHITE BUSH THING AND OH MY GOD, OKAY, OH MY GOD. *SO* FUCKING ALIVE, LIFE, THIS IS LIFE.
You know what else is life? Being able to go out for dinner afterwards and order nothing but massive amounts of french fries and a cotton candy Cosmopolitan because you fucking can. GOD I hope I can keep this forever.
SO IN LOVE WITH LIFE RIGHT NOW.
Will write about it in obnoxious locked detail tomorrow when I am not about to die of sleep deprivation, but this has been such a gorgeous weekend!! I was asked to shoot a film fest's last screening and after party last night, there was a red carpet and everything. Fuck. I know it's not NY or LA, I know it's just this Midwest state but it's SUCH a start, my god. And there were people there that I actually knew, it blew my mind because I went all by myself. I spent a majority of the night with Scott, who was one of our actors on the movie, he is SUCH a joy to be around, I don't think I ever stopped smiling after we met up & stuck. I was so glad he was there. And I met amazing new people! A flamboyantly fun editor, a 56 year old woman who is spunky as fuck and so brilliantly honest, EVERYONE IS SO MUCH FUN AND I FEEL SO FUCKING LOVED. Like, I just met these people and they were hugging me constantly and thanking me all night and opening up to me immediately - "I don't usually tell people this, but..." ♥ I couldn't even sleep last night when I got home because I was so fucking happy and fulfilled and in my element.
And then today! They were shooting the movie on Fri/Sat but I didn't go because I had other shit to shoot and I didn't feel like driving that far. But I went today and SERIOUSLY I DIDN'T EVEN EXPECT PEOPLE TO NOTICE/CARE THAT I'D BEEN MIA BUT I COULD TELL THEY ALL DID JUST BY HOW THEY REACTED WHEN THEY EACH FIRST SAW ME. KILLED ME KILLED ME FUCKING KILLED ME. SO many hugs and "Oh my god, you're here!" and "WELCOME BACK!!" and "Where have you been?!"s. Seriously. I don't mean to sound all, ~omg everyone loves me~, I'm reading it back and it kind of sounds like that but I swear I was genuinely stunned and that's why I'm freaking out about it. Maybe it's because towards the end of our August shoot, I felt like I was always frustrating people so I figured they'd be glad I wasn't there and just wouldn't question it. So to see them so happy to see me blew my mind - again, I felt SO fucking loved and appreciated. And oh my god, Marc, yesterday he asked Jason where I was because "he was lacking in stimulating conversation" since I wasn't there. AND THAT IS AMAZING BECAUSE I LOVE MARC AND I SAY THE SAME SHIT ABOUT HIM. One time at the production office everyone was upsetting me and I asked Jason, "Is Marc here? Because I need to be around a smart person for just five fucking minutes." GOD. And the producer's kid, she started talking to me about dance! And she was freaking out because she has to learn an Illusion before her recital so I showed her and she asked me if I could do a bunch of different turns and sdflhas. AND SHE WANTS TO BE A PHOTOGRAPHER WHEN SHE GROWS UP. ♥ ♥ SPEAKING OF. OH MY GOD, CHARLIE WAS THERE, AND HE SHOOTS TOO AND HE LET ME PLAY WITH HIS THINGS KLJHS DFHJKLA JAKSF A RING FLASH SWEET BABY JESUS, WANT. HE IS SO FUCKING NICE, TEACHING ME THINGS AND NOT BEING JUDGMENTAL BECAUSE I DON'T ALREADY KNOW THEM. AND THEN HE ASKED ME TO SHOOT HIM IN THIS AMAZING WHITE BUSH THING AND OH MY GOD, OKAY, OH MY GOD. *SO* FUCKING ALIVE, LIFE, THIS IS LIFE.
You know what else is life? Being able to go out for dinner afterwards and order nothing but massive amounts of french fries and a cotton candy Cosmopolitan because you fucking can. GOD I hope I can keep this forever.