so i sat with her and she sat with me.
Yesterday was so slow at work. I spent a majority of the day reading My Judy Garland Life, which, let me tell you, is not a bad way to spend downtime in the office. I love it so much. Obviously I love Judy, but I wouldn't say I "fangirl" her, and even in spite of that I am so drawn to this book because this author gets it. Everything she says about Judy, I identify with anyway, just because I love people the way that she loves her. Like this:
When I think of Judy Garland in pain, or Judy struggling, or Judy stung by disappointment or betrayal, or Judy petulant or deliberately misunderstanding, or Judy uncertain of the size of her star, or staggering under the weight of her talent, or reeling from her 'medication' too much or too little, or being maltreated or turned against and rejected, or denying herself food, or neglected or simply in despair and facing the world with the sharp accusation, "You demand a great deal of satisfaction for the little you give", I'm always trying to think what I could have done to help.
I think like this a lot about Marilyn Monroe in particular. If she would have known me, would it have made a difference, could I have been there for her, would she have let me. Sometimes I really do feel like I honestly could have made a difference to her, maybe even saved her, even just a little bit. And that's probably a delusion of grandeur but I feel like I understand her in ways most people didn't, and I feel like have strengths that she didn't - strengths she could have benefited from, strengths I hope would have rubbed off.
♥
We had a lunch seminar, which meant we had food catered and it was amazing. I also applied for a PA position at a local film company. I was originally going to work in the wardrobe/make-up department because I heard the woman in charge was totally bitchin', but when they saw that I can webcode, they asked me to redo their website for the war film that they're doing. Which I am really excited about because it's pretty boring/gross right now. I was also asked if I'd be interested in doing their company website as well, which is a little more intimidating to me because I assume it would demand more. And I know HTML well enough, but I don't know Flash or Java or any of that fancy nonsense. So I don't know. It sounds like I'll just be bouncing around wherever they need me, which is cool because that means I'll get a variety of experience, not just one thing. I'm going in next Thursday to meet everybody. I am both excited and nervous, but Lindsey said that they're stoked to meet me and from the way she talks about it, it seems like it's an environment that will be a really good fit for me. Sam asked her if I was hot. I told her I'm going to wear a garbage bag on my first day to prove a point. I AM REALLY EXCITED THOUGH. AND ALSO SCARED. AND I KNOW I ALREADY SAID THESE THINGS, BUT. It'll be great to have real, legitimate experience aside from, "Well I have experience in Final Cut from when I fanvid~ House MD alone in my bedroom lol, OH and webdesign from my fucking blog, right." LOL, look at this credibility, goddamn.
When I think of Judy Garland in pain, or Judy struggling, or Judy stung by disappointment or betrayal, or Judy petulant or deliberately misunderstanding, or Judy uncertain of the size of her star, or staggering under the weight of her talent, or reeling from her 'medication' too much or too little, or being maltreated or turned against and rejected, or denying herself food, or neglected or simply in despair and facing the world with the sharp accusation, "You demand a great deal of satisfaction for the little you give", I'm always trying to think what I could have done to help.
I think like this a lot about Marilyn Monroe in particular. If she would have known me, would it have made a difference, could I have been there for her, would she have let me. Sometimes I really do feel like I honestly could have made a difference to her, maybe even saved her, even just a little bit. And that's probably a delusion of grandeur but I feel like I understand her in ways most people didn't, and I feel like have strengths that she didn't - strengths she could have benefited from, strengths I hope would have rubbed off.
♥
We had a lunch seminar, which meant we had food catered and it was amazing. I also applied for a PA position at a local film company. I was originally going to work in the wardrobe/make-up department because I heard the woman in charge was totally bitchin', but when they saw that I can webcode, they asked me to redo their website for the war film that they're doing. Which I am really excited about because it's pretty boring/gross right now. I was also asked if I'd be interested in doing their company website as well, which is a little more intimidating to me because I assume it would demand more. And I know HTML well enough, but I don't know Flash or Java or any of that fancy nonsense. So I don't know. It sounds like I'll just be bouncing around wherever they need me, which is cool because that means I'll get a variety of experience, not just one thing. I'm going in next Thursday to meet everybody. I am both excited and nervous, but Lindsey said that they're stoked to meet me and from the way she talks about it, it seems like it's an environment that will be a really good fit for me. Sam asked her if I was hot. I told her I'm going to wear a garbage bag on my first day to prove a point. I AM REALLY EXCITED THOUGH. AND ALSO SCARED. AND I KNOW I ALREADY SAID THESE THINGS, BUT. It'll be great to have real, legitimate experience aside from, "Well I have experience in Final Cut from when I fanvid~ House MD alone in my bedroom lol, OH and webdesign from my fucking blog, right." LOL, look at this credibility, goddamn.