"... all i can think about is you."
MY DESKTOP IS SO NAST RIGHT NOW. ICONS FUCKING EVERYWHERE, I HATE IT AND I KEEP GOING TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SCREEN OUT OF HABIT BUT I HAD TO MOVE EVERYTHING AROUND ON MONDAY BECAUSE DUH. DUH. LOOK. I DON'T EVEN HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO PHOTOSHOP MYSELF A DECENT WALLPAPER. I WANT TO. I JUST HAVE TOO MUCH ELSE TO GET OUT RIGHT NOW. I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY AND DO AND I'M SO OVERWHELMED BUT IT'S AWESOME BECAUSE IT'S LIKE NOTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON.
I had to work yesterday on like 4 hours of sleep. Because I was up editing. Normally this would bother me. BUT I DIDN'T CARE. Then when I got home, on any other day I would have taken a nap because I was so tired. NO - ALL UP IN CREATIVE BUSINESS FROM 7PM UNTIL ABOUT 6 THIS MORNING. AND I BARELY EVEN NOTICED. What. I took brief breaks to make fucking martinis and take a phone call (I almost didn't, though. LMAO. But it was Tony - "what are you up to?" *in an i'm-on-crack-like tone* I'M EDITING!!!1 "THAT'S MY GIRL!!" Also, he has heard of Eddie the prop guy, by the way, he said he recognized the name. He asked me how I knew him or why I was bringing it up and I was like, "Because he emailed me and I'm just wondering if he was one of your friends, IDK" Why, though? How does he know who you are? "I'm not going to tell you!" LOL "Is he on a dating site? Are YOU? OR WAIT, NO - CHATROULETTE. YOU MET HIM ON CHATROULETTE, DIDN'T YOU." LMAO FOREVER, I laughed so hard my throat did this thing that normally only my sister's does, we call it 'honking'. I totally honked.) It was amazing though - I completely redid house_cuddy and finished a video and I felt so prolific and full, and god, a lot of the time I go to bed wondering what the fuck I DID all night since I don't have much to tangibly show for it, but that was so not the case last night and I felt no creative guilt at all for sleeping - only contentment.
AND I WAS GOING TO WRITE ABOUT THIS BEFORE I WENT TO BED BUT I *LITERALLY* WAS HALF-ASLEEP, IT WAS THE STRANGEST THING EVER - No, but as I was crawling into bed, the sun now up and shining in my window, I was so happy. Like, I have not been this brand of happy in a long time. It reminded me of my first year of college, when I lived in the apartments on campus and I was just getting into House. And I'd say up photoshopping and editing all night long, until the sun came up just like this. And back when I had a roommate who went to bed all fucking early, I'd take my 50-foot-long internet cord and string it under doors and chairs and have this elaborate set-up so I could have internet just outside our door, dark at 3 in the morning. I was just so buzzed on this stuff all the time. There was Fetal Position and Airborne (someone read me the detailed synopsis over the phone, while I was in the hall waiting for my math class to start. I slid down the wall. It is one of my most vivid memories from that place.) and Half-Wit and Insensitive and we were so constantly in the heart of it back then. It never stopped and there was always so much to be done, so much to creatively say and a million ways in which to say it. It hasn't been that way for awhile. And I didn't even really know that I'd been missing it that much until I got it back last night. ♥ Being able to sleep unfazed in bright sunlight is one of my favorite hidden talents.
I had to work yesterday on like 4 hours of sleep. Because I was up editing. Normally this would bother me. BUT I DIDN'T CARE. Then when I got home, on any other day I would have taken a nap because I was so tired. NO - ALL UP IN CREATIVE BUSINESS FROM 7PM UNTIL ABOUT 6 THIS MORNING. AND I BARELY EVEN NOTICED. What. I took brief breaks to make fucking martinis and take a phone call (I almost didn't, though. LMAO. But it was Tony - "what are you up to?" *in an i'm-on-crack-like tone* I'M EDITING!!!1 "THAT'S MY GIRL!!" Also, he has heard of Eddie the prop guy, by the way, he said he recognized the name. He asked me how I knew him or why I was bringing it up and I was like, "Because he emailed me and I'm just wondering if he was one of your friends, IDK" Why, though? How does he know who you are? "I'm not going to tell you!" LOL "Is he on a dating site? Are YOU? OR WAIT, NO - CHATROULETTE. YOU MET HIM ON CHATROULETTE, DIDN'T YOU." LMAO FOREVER, I laughed so hard my throat did this thing that normally only my sister's does, we call it 'honking'. I totally honked.) It was amazing though - I completely redid house_cuddy and finished a video and I felt so prolific and full, and god, a lot of the time I go to bed wondering what the fuck I DID all night since I don't have much to tangibly show for it, but that was so not the case last night and I felt no creative guilt at all for sleeping - only contentment.
AND I WAS GOING TO WRITE ABOUT THIS BEFORE I WENT TO BED BUT I *LITERALLY* WAS HALF-ASLEEP, IT WAS THE STRANGEST THING EVER - No, but as I was crawling into bed, the sun now up and shining in my window, I was so happy. Like, I have not been this brand of happy in a long time. It reminded me of my first year of college, when I lived in the apartments on campus and I was just getting into House. And I'd say up photoshopping and editing all night long, until the sun came up just like this. And back when I had a roommate who went to bed all fucking early, I'd take my 50-foot-long internet cord and string it under doors and chairs and have this elaborate set-up so I could have internet just outside our door, dark at 3 in the morning. I was just so buzzed on this stuff all the time. There was Fetal Position and Airborne (someone read me the detailed synopsis over the phone, while I was in the hall waiting for my math class to start. I slid down the wall. It is one of my most vivid memories from that place.) and Half-Wit and Insensitive and we were so constantly in the heart of it back then. It never stopped and there was always so much to be done, so much to creatively say and a million ways in which to say it. It hasn't been that way for awhile. And I didn't even really know that I'd been missing it that much until I got it back last night. ♥ Being able to sleep unfazed in bright sunlight is one of my favorite hidden talents.