"it's just that we never get to stay with them long enough to see the gentler side of the undead."
GUYS. GUYS. GUYS. I HAD THE FUNNEST SATURDAY NIGHT EVER.
Okay, so. Backstory. I sent Randy an email. I basically said that I hated that he was being so fucking juvenile. I said that when I think back to some of our stuff together, or when I read some of what I wrote as we were going out, that I didn't feel hate and resentment - I did smile, and my hope for him was that someday he'd get to that point, too. I told him I learned a lot and thank you. It was way longer than that, BUT THAT IS THE GIST. Then, that night, I get a text asking if I was out? So I say yes (I wasn't. lol.) and he is like, "I have a question for you." I assume it's going to be about that email, but no - LOL HE ASKS ME IF I WANT TO GO BE AN EXTRA IN A ZOMBIE MOVIE WITH HIM. And it was like, GOD I wanted to go, but I didn't want to go to be with him, lol, I wanted to go to get all done up like a dead woman and run around screaming. So I agonized over it and my mom was like, "GOD, FUCK HIM. GO BE IN A FILM." So I said I'd go.
SO YEAH. SHOOTING, MIDNIGHT TO 6AM. IT WAS PERFECT. He called and asked if I wanted to go out to Applebee's before, so I go over to his house early and then he's all, "I don't think we have time to go anymore". I think we do, lol. Idiot. So we just played Rock Band. BUT THEN WE WENT TO THE THING. We got lost as FUCK. We went to turn around in a desolate parking lot and I saw a cat all by itself and it did have a collar on and I wanted to cry and I felt so fucking bad so I started freaking out and he was like, "Well, fuck, should I go back for it?" And I was like, "I DON'T KNOW!! *cries*" So he did, he turned around and got out of the car and walked up to it, expecting it to run away but it walked right up to him and he picked it up and I could have died. So I got out of the car to pet it and god it is a fucking beautiful cat, it's like the most beautiful cat I've ever seen, no lie. The eyes on that thing. So my god, we like, brought it in the car with us and she would not stop meowing and making sounds and it was so sad. But we weren't going to leave her there. ALSO! There was NO info on her collar. Why even have a collar, then. :( :( :(
Oh my god and he was so fucking adorable with her. We went to the gas station and he went in and got her cat food and water while I sang Vienna Teng to her. AND SHE IS SO SMART, I SANG, "She's looking at me, straight to center" AND SHE FUCKING BROUGHT HER HEAD UP TO LOOK AT ME, I AM SO SERIOUS. And the whole night, he kept being all concerned about her and telling everyone about her and he mentioned finding her a place to live but I know he's going to end up keeping her because he already loves her so much (and I wish I would have seen this side of him when we were actually going out). We named her Zombie!! After shooting, we brought her home and made her a bed in his wine cellar because we didn't want his roommates to freak that he brought a cat into their home without so much as consulting them. He told me that today after I left, he went out and got her a bunch of stuff (HE SENT ME A PICTURE OF HER ON HIS BED WITH "HER NEW FAVORITE TOY" AND IT'S THIS PURPLE THING HE GOT HER AND LSKDJFHJHDF) and now she's in his room and that "he can't wait to sleep with her" and stop it, stop actually having a heart, it's too late.
We FINALLY found the place, it was KIND OF HIDDEN AT FIRST but it was awesome. WE GOT MADE UP AND IT WAS THE COOLEST SHIT OF MY LIFE. AND LOOK AT MY BAMFY MAKE-UP GUY. AND LMAO, HE'S ALL, "ANY PARTICULAR PLACES YOU WANT TO BLEED FROM?" LOLOL SDKFJHASHKLDF. I told him I trusted his artistic inclination on this one.
So we got made up and then had to wait around for them to be ready for us. I remember sitting there on a chair, just looking at everyone and I thought, "I feel like I'm in a movie", as I so often do, but then I said to myself, "OH MY GOD, YOU ARE, STUPID!" KJLSDAFH. And then I say to Randy, "My shirt is so boring", so he just grabs the collar and fucking RIPS it open. HOT, A+. We had time to kill so we were just hanging out and exploring. We found a creepy-ass staircase and decided to climb it up into the dark. There was glass fucking everywhere, everything was peeling and chipping and falling apart, hunks of wood, metal, an old-fashioned elevator, broken windows. We went up two floors and watched them filming below through a hole in the wall. We went to leave and go back downstairs before he made some comment about how "we could totally have sex up here right now". And you know? He's still a damn good kisser, okay. I knew we had our sex issues but I never wanted to give that kissing up. And before he said that, I was just thinking, "If you kissed me here I wouldn't care", and then he says that and I didn't think at all before I kind of pulled us into a wall. And it wasn't even necessarily that I wanted him, I just really wanted the situation. It was so sexy. I'm in this deserted, abandoned, falling apart building, three stories up, on broken glass, on a movie set, at two in the morning, in this makeup, with a great kisser, and it's like... how fucking unique, I am never going to have this again. Want. So we went to kiss but couldn't because we didn't want to fuck up our makeup, so we just kind of hovered there and finally kissed so so lightly and so slow and fuck it was hot. He treats me better now than he did when I was his girlfriend and IDEK what that means. Whatever. That is not the point of this entry, lol. The point of this entry was I had a bitchin' time.
It was probably close to 3am before we actually started filming. They sent us down an alleyway and had a guy running around with a fog machine and oh my god we were all so stoked about it because it smelled good. LOL someone was like, "IT SMELLS LIKE CAPTAIN MORGAN." AND IT DID. So god, god slkjdfhlahjs it gets all fogged up, and when we heard "Action!" that was the actors' cue, and our cue was him whistling lol, so when he did, we just had to book ass and run down over all of these rocks and things, and then around broken-down cars and go straight at the actors. Who were shooting at us. OMG IT WAS SUCH A FUCKING TRIP. I asked the director if our people yelled, and AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAYS TO ME? "If it feels right, do it". ♥ ♥ ♥ And everyone was so nice and so fun!! Especially the stunt guys, oh my god they were so fucking funny. There were four official ~stunt guys~ and they were cracking me up constantly. And this one was talking to me about "Alive" or something, where some rugby team had to eat each other IRL? AWESOME. And, one time, one of them was like, "THIS TIME, YOU GUYS, WE SHOULD ALL JUST SKIP. HAHAHAAA" and then another one was like, "YES. THE WIZARD OF OZ THING." at which point I screamed and jumped in, "YES!!! *does it*" So oh my god we ran like a million times, and I am so sore today but it was so worth it, fuck. And then we were all standing there and the director was like, "I need you, you, you, and you" and I was a "you", so we went with him and he was like, "Okay, so YOU'RE DEAD." And I had to lay on the ground all fucking mangled-like and then they all had to run over me and it was terrifying. And then they shot a bunch of stunts, the guys jumping over cars and doing flips and shit. "Now, try not to break the windshield until the last take," he said. lols dflkjahs.
And the AD was taking pictures CONSTANTLY and I want to see them so bad. Because I was watching him and he had such an eye for things. I'd have taken so so many but my camera battery was going dead. Also there was another camera guy who was rolling between takes, for like, behind-the-scenes stuff, and it was so (I KNOW I KEEP SAYING "COOL" AND "AWESOME", BUT) cool and I want to see it, I WANT TO SEE IT ALL. I WANT TO EDIT AND PHOTOSHOP IT ALL. They took our names for ~credits~ and this Katie girl also took our emails so they could keep us updated and send us things. OH MY GOD, and the director graduated from MCAD, and when I heard that I got SO excited because I know amazing, brilliant, creatively talented people who have come out of MCAD. AND THEY WERE USING A RED. I totally knew about it because Tony was lusting over it hxc last time I saw him and told me all about it and it is BADASS, OK.
And we met this really fun (I think they were a) couple, Corey and Karina, and we were sort of with them a lot and they waited in the parking lot afterwards until we got there because they were so curious to see if our cat had peed in the car, lmao lmao. SHE DID NOT. SEE, I TOLD YOU SHE WAS SMART. We left and then we went to Perkins for breakfast in our make-up. We got seated totally normally and then Randy says to our waitress, "What, no reaction?" and she was like, "I was trying so hard not to stare!!!" LOL it was adorable. But eff, I had so much fun with this. I WILL TOTES CLIP IT AND SHOW YOU GUYS ONCE IT'S DONE IF IT TURNS OUT YOU CAN SEE ME IN IT. I feel like you'll be able to, since he hand-picked me to be a corpse.
I legit cried on the way home just thinking of how happy and at home I felt on a movie set. And call me crazy but it felt so fucking innate. And people would ask the director questions and it felt like I knew what we were supposed to do before he even said it, and I feel like I never missed a thing and I always knew what was going on and where I was supposed to be. I don't even mean to be cocky or overconfident at all, honestly, I just really felt it and I don't feel lightly. Also, it was amazing for my ADD because I never. got. bored. When everyone else was whining at how long we had to sit around between scenes, I honestly did not even understand their bitching. And you know what else I realized? I didn't have any social anxiety there at all. At any other job or any other place, I always have kind of an issue because I worry about... god I don't even KNOW *what* I worry about, I just don't want to DO anything. But here, I WANT to be in a million places at once, I WANT to talk to all of these people, I WANT to do stupid little busy-work tasks like bringing people coffee or writing emails down, because I am so happy just to BE there. It just felt right. It was something I always suspected, but now I know.
LJ IS NOT EMAILING COMMENTS.
Okay, so. Backstory. I sent Randy an email. I basically said that I hated that he was being so fucking juvenile. I said that when I think back to some of our stuff together, or when I read some of what I wrote as we were going out, that I didn't feel hate and resentment - I did smile, and my hope for him was that someday he'd get to that point, too. I told him I learned a lot and thank you. It was way longer than that, BUT THAT IS THE GIST. Then, that night, I get a text asking if I was out? So I say yes (I wasn't. lol.) and he is like, "I have a question for you." I assume it's going to be about that email, but no - LOL HE ASKS ME IF I WANT TO GO BE AN EXTRA IN A ZOMBIE MOVIE WITH HIM. And it was like, GOD I wanted to go, but I didn't want to go to be with him, lol, I wanted to go to get all done up like a dead woman and run around screaming. So I agonized over it and my mom was like, "GOD, FUCK HIM. GO BE IN A FILM." So I said I'd go.
SO YEAH. SHOOTING, MIDNIGHT TO 6AM. IT WAS PERFECT. He called and asked if I wanted to go out to Applebee's before, so I go over to his house early and then he's all, "I don't think we have time to go anymore". I think we do, lol. Idiot. So we just played Rock Band. BUT THEN WE WENT TO THE THING. We got lost as FUCK. We went to turn around in a desolate parking lot and I saw a cat all by itself and it did have a collar on and I wanted to cry and I felt so fucking bad so I started freaking out and he was like, "Well, fuck, should I go back for it?" And I was like, "I DON'T KNOW!! *cries*" So he did, he turned around and got out of the car and walked up to it, expecting it to run away but it walked right up to him and he picked it up and I could have died. So I got out of the car to pet it and god it is a fucking beautiful cat, it's like the most beautiful cat I've ever seen, no lie. The eyes on that thing. So my god, we like, brought it in the car with us and she would not stop meowing and making sounds and it was so sad. But we weren't going to leave her there. ALSO! There was NO info on her collar. Why even have a collar, then. :( :( :(
Oh my god and he was so fucking adorable with her. We went to the gas station and he went in and got her cat food and water while I sang Vienna Teng to her. AND SHE IS SO SMART, I SANG, "She's looking at me, straight to center" AND SHE FUCKING BROUGHT HER HEAD UP TO LOOK AT ME, I AM SO SERIOUS. And the whole night, he kept being all concerned about her and telling everyone about her and he mentioned finding her a place to live but I know he's going to end up keeping her because he already loves her so much (and I wish I would have seen this side of him when we were actually going out). We named her Zombie!! After shooting, we brought her home and made her a bed in his wine cellar because we didn't want his roommates to freak that he brought a cat into their home without so much as consulting them. He told me that today after I left, he went out and got her a bunch of stuff (HE SENT ME A PICTURE OF HER ON HIS BED WITH "HER NEW FAVORITE TOY" AND IT'S THIS PURPLE THING HE GOT HER AND LSKDJFHJHDF) and now she's in his room and that "he can't wait to sleep with her" and stop it, stop actually having a heart, it's too late.
We FINALLY found the place, it was KIND OF HIDDEN AT FIRST but it was awesome. WE GOT MADE UP AND IT WAS THE COOLEST SHIT OF MY LIFE. AND LOOK AT MY BAMFY MAKE-UP GUY. AND LMAO, HE'S ALL, "ANY PARTICULAR PLACES YOU WANT TO BLEED FROM?" LOLOL SDKFJHASHKLDF. I told him I trusted his artistic inclination on this one.
So we got made up and then had to wait around for them to be ready for us. I remember sitting there on a chair, just looking at everyone and I thought, "I feel like I'm in a movie", as I so often do, but then I said to myself, "OH MY GOD, YOU ARE, STUPID!" KJLSDAFH. And then I say to Randy, "My shirt is so boring", so he just grabs the collar and fucking RIPS it open. HOT, A+. We had time to kill so we were just hanging out and exploring. We found a creepy-ass staircase and decided to climb it up into the dark. There was glass fucking everywhere, everything was peeling and chipping and falling apart, hunks of wood, metal, an old-fashioned elevator, broken windows. We went up two floors and watched them filming below through a hole in the wall. We went to leave and go back downstairs before he made some comment about how "we could totally have sex up here right now". And you know? He's still a damn good kisser, okay. I knew we had our sex issues but I never wanted to give that kissing up. And before he said that, I was just thinking, "If you kissed me here I wouldn't care", and then he says that and I didn't think at all before I kind of pulled us into a wall. And it wasn't even necessarily that I wanted him, I just really wanted the situation. It was so sexy. I'm in this deserted, abandoned, falling apart building, three stories up, on broken glass, on a movie set, at two in the morning, in this makeup, with a great kisser, and it's like... how fucking unique, I am never going to have this again. Want. So we went to kiss but couldn't because we didn't want to fuck up our makeup, so we just kind of hovered there and finally kissed so so lightly and so slow and fuck it was hot. He treats me better now than he did when I was his girlfriend and IDEK what that means. Whatever. That is not the point of this entry, lol. The point of this entry was I had a bitchin' time.
It was probably close to 3am before we actually started filming. They sent us down an alleyway and had a guy running around with a fog machine and oh my god we were all so stoked about it because it smelled good. LOL someone was like, "IT SMELLS LIKE CAPTAIN MORGAN." AND IT DID. So god, god slkjdfhlahjs it gets all fogged up, and when we heard "Action!" that was the actors' cue, and our cue was him whistling lol, so when he did, we just had to book ass and run down over all of these rocks and things, and then around broken-down cars and go straight at the actors. Who were shooting at us. OMG IT WAS SUCH A FUCKING TRIP. I asked the director if our people yelled, and AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAYS TO ME? "If it feels right, do it". ♥ ♥ ♥ And everyone was so nice and so fun!! Especially the stunt guys, oh my god they were so fucking funny. There were four official ~stunt guys~ and they were cracking me up constantly. And this one was talking to me about "Alive" or something, where some rugby team had to eat each other IRL? AWESOME. And, one time, one of them was like, "THIS TIME, YOU GUYS, WE SHOULD ALL JUST SKIP. HAHAHAAA" and then another one was like, "YES. THE WIZARD OF OZ THING." at which point I screamed and jumped in, "YES!!! *does it*" So oh my god we ran like a million times, and I am so sore today but it was so worth it, fuck. And then we were all standing there and the director was like, "I need you, you, you, and you" and I was a "you", so we went with him and he was like, "Okay, so YOU'RE DEAD." And I had to lay on the ground all fucking mangled-like and then they all had to run over me and it was terrifying. And then they shot a bunch of stunts, the guys jumping over cars and doing flips and shit. "Now, try not to break the windshield until the last take," he said. lols dflkjahs.
And the AD was taking pictures CONSTANTLY and I want to see them so bad. Because I was watching him and he had such an eye for things. I'd have taken so so many but my camera battery was going dead. Also there was another camera guy who was rolling between takes, for like, behind-the-scenes stuff, and it was so (I KNOW I KEEP SAYING "COOL" AND "AWESOME", BUT) cool and I want to see it, I WANT TO SEE IT ALL. I WANT TO EDIT AND PHOTOSHOP IT ALL. They took our names for ~credits~ and this Katie girl also took our emails so they could keep us updated and send us things. OH MY GOD, and the director graduated from MCAD, and when I heard that I got SO excited because I know amazing, brilliant, creatively talented people who have come out of MCAD. AND THEY WERE USING A RED. I totally knew about it because Tony was lusting over it hxc last time I saw him and told me all about it and it is BADASS, OK.
And we met this really fun (I think they were a) couple, Corey and Karina, and we were sort of with them a lot and they waited in the parking lot afterwards until we got there because they were so curious to see if our cat had peed in the car, lmao lmao. SHE DID NOT. SEE, I TOLD YOU SHE WAS SMART. We left and then we went to Perkins for breakfast in our make-up. We got seated totally normally and then Randy says to our waitress, "What, no reaction?" and she was like, "I was trying so hard not to stare!!!" LOL it was adorable. But eff, I had so much fun with this. I WILL TOTES CLIP IT AND SHOW YOU GUYS ONCE IT'S DONE IF IT TURNS OUT YOU CAN SEE ME IN IT. I feel like you'll be able to, since he hand-picked me to be a corpse.
I legit cried on the way home just thinking of how happy and at home I felt on a movie set. And call me crazy but it felt so fucking innate. And people would ask the director questions and it felt like I knew what we were supposed to do before he even said it, and I feel like I never missed a thing and I always knew what was going on and where I was supposed to be. I don't even mean to be cocky or overconfident at all, honestly, I just really felt it and I don't feel lightly. Also, it was amazing for my ADD because I never. got. bored. When everyone else was whining at how long we had to sit around between scenes, I honestly did not even understand their bitching. And you know what else I realized? I didn't have any social anxiety there at all. At any other job or any other place, I always have kind of an issue because I worry about... god I don't even KNOW *what* I worry about, I just don't want to DO anything. But here, I WANT to be in a million places at once, I WANT to talk to all of these people, I WANT to do stupid little busy-work tasks like bringing people coffee or writing emails down, because I am so happy just to BE there. It just felt right. It was something I always suspected, but now I know.
LJ IS NOT EMAILING COMMENTS.