"'great' is not good enough. I want life-changing, something that no one has ever seen before."
I'm going to keep this open while I edit and come here with thoughts to see if it's different at all.
→ I need a metronome. For real. Because I'm trying to cut this song up and every time I keep count in my head, it differs. I'm adding a chunk of silence and I want to have eight counts of it, so I do it, I count and then make the second piece of music start where I stop the cursor, and then when I play it back, it's not in time. Because my counts are either a TAD faster or a TAD slower than they were last time and IDEK WHAT IS FUCKING RIGHT, OKAY, because I have no music to go on at that point.
→ I have strawberry water and animal crackers. Delish. I always like to have editing food. My favorite foods to edit with are Cheez-Its or those little Hershey kisses called Kissables, but with this video I've taken to peanuts. Just little either salty or candy-like things to procrastinate with.
→ I always have to pee so much when I edit, why is that? I wonder if I really do go more or if I go the same amount but it just FEELS like I have to go more often because time passes so quickly when I do this. I really don't even know.
→ When I was falling asleep last night, I saw the pre-REM images through this series of filters. It was absolutely beautiful. I love when I can be that far deep, where it invades my space like that even without consent or effort.
And it was fun for me to see everything like that because visually speaking, I'm so proud of how this is turning out. I feel like it's the most soft and delicate thing I've ever done and it's such a... (idk-the-word, "gift"? "reward"? "blessing"? "privilege"?) to see and hold and manipulate them this way. I feel like I'm holding them in my hands. And this is going to sound so stupid, but seriously, I almost want to compare it to holding a newborn baby? That delicacy. Or if a dream were to be personified into some glow of mist and just kind of float in between your palms, that's what this is, a dream, and I'm holding it.
And I love everything about this art, the emotion and the concepts of movement and tempo - I love vidding so much because I get to dance without moving my feet. I feel so much of that when I do this, I feel like such a choreographer, I love the ability to dictate, to make people carry out your visual art for you, I love the feeling, I love being able to tell the story I want to tell. I love the movement and the musicality and sometimes I literally feel like I'm pulling puppet strings.
→ I've had my water bottle balancing on my head for so long, that I thought it was still on just now so I went to grab it and it was not there. It just felt like it was. I hate that.
→ jenncho just brought this up but I hate vidding sometimes because if I love a song so much, I want to listen to it, but I can't REALLY listen to it if I'm editing it at that moment. I want to do both but I cannot. I usually have the song on my iTunes though, and if something's rendering I'll press the play button on my keyboard and listen to ten seconds of it because I absolutely cannot be apart from it for even that long sometimes. And then, this mostly happens in the beginning stages of a video, but I can only sleep if I've got the song on. The first night, I can't even sleep because I'll just be thinking about it and the only way it works is if I play the song so I won't have to work so hard to play it in my head. And those times are absolutely beautiful, let me tell you. There's just so much promise in them, you feel so unlimited and you've got this huge-ass amazing, moving canvas to play on and the ideas flow like fire. Not water, fire. I always fall asleep with such a contented smile on my face knowing that when I wake up, I will have the opportunity to paint on that canvas, and if all goes well, learn something new. Feel something new. Say something new.
→ I'm currently at the point that I hate. There are three holes left and nothing is jumping out at me and I just want to be done so I can export it and watch it back because that is the most fulfilling, amazing feeling. Also I'm tired as fuck, my body blatantly going against my wishes, but it seems so STUPID to me to go to bed when I'm this close. WASTE, it ends up being a waste of a day, basically, because I need to sleep on a finished video before I let it go. And so even if I finish it first thing tomorrow morning, I won't be able to put it up because I'll need that night to sleep it off. And it only makes logical sense that that be tonight. Because I am so close. God. Fuck me.
→ Also, I talk to myself I lot when I do this. I just caught myself yelling, "WHAT. WHAT IS THE FUCKING ISSUE." and "Well fine, let's just ~see~ if this is even worth HAVING." And "30.1, is it? *looks* IT IS." LOL omg I didn't even realize how much I did this until I started paying attention for this entry.
→ I'm going to bed nowww. ♥ And I won't have to do it in the morning - I did fill in the holes. ♥ ♥ And when I say morning, I mean 1 or 2pm when I get up. LOL.
→ I need a metronome. For real. Because I'm trying to cut this song up and every time I keep count in my head, it differs. I'm adding a chunk of silence and I want to have eight counts of it, so I do it, I count and then make the second piece of music start where I stop the cursor, and then when I play it back, it's not in time. Because my counts are either a TAD faster or a TAD slower than they were last time and IDEK WHAT IS FUCKING RIGHT, OKAY, because I have no music to go on at that point.
→ I have strawberry water and animal crackers. Delish. I always like to have editing food. My favorite foods to edit with are Cheez-Its or those little Hershey kisses called Kissables, but with this video I've taken to peanuts. Just little either salty or candy-like things to procrastinate with.
→ I always have to pee so much when I edit, why is that? I wonder if I really do go more or if I go the same amount but it just FEELS like I have to go more often because time passes so quickly when I do this. I really don't even know.
→ When I was falling asleep last night, I saw the pre-REM images through this series of filters. It was absolutely beautiful. I love when I can be that far deep, where it invades my space like that even without consent or effort.
And it was fun for me to see everything like that because visually speaking, I'm so proud of how this is turning out. I feel like it's the most soft and delicate thing I've ever done and it's such a... (idk-the-word, "gift"? "reward"? "blessing"? "privilege"?) to see and hold and manipulate them this way. I feel like I'm holding them in my hands. And this is going to sound so stupid, but seriously, I almost want to compare it to holding a newborn baby? That delicacy. Or if a dream were to be personified into some glow of mist and just kind of float in between your palms, that's what this is, a dream, and I'm holding it.
And I love everything about this art, the emotion and the concepts of movement and tempo - I love vidding so much because I get to dance without moving my feet. I feel so much of that when I do this, I feel like such a choreographer, I love the ability to dictate, to make people carry out your visual art for you, I love the feeling, I love being able to tell the story I want to tell. I love the movement and the musicality and sometimes I literally feel like I'm pulling puppet strings.
→ I've had my water bottle balancing on my head for so long, that I thought it was still on just now so I went to grab it and it was not there. It just felt like it was. I hate that.
→ jenncho just brought this up but I hate vidding sometimes because if I love a song so much, I want to listen to it, but I can't REALLY listen to it if I'm editing it at that moment. I want to do both but I cannot. I usually have the song on my iTunes though, and if something's rendering I'll press the play button on my keyboard and listen to ten seconds of it because I absolutely cannot be apart from it for even that long sometimes. And then, this mostly happens in the beginning stages of a video, but I can only sleep if I've got the song on. The first night, I can't even sleep because I'll just be thinking about it and the only way it works is if I play the song so I won't have to work so hard to play it in my head. And those times are absolutely beautiful, let me tell you. There's just so much promise in them, you feel so unlimited and you've got this huge-ass amazing, moving canvas to play on and the ideas flow like fire. Not water, fire. I always fall asleep with such a contented smile on my face knowing that when I wake up, I will have the opportunity to paint on that canvas, and if all goes well, learn something new. Feel something new. Say something new.
→ I'm currently at the point that I hate. There are three holes left and nothing is jumping out at me and I just want to be done so I can export it and watch it back because that is the most fulfilling, amazing feeling. Also I'm tired as fuck, my body blatantly going against my wishes, but it seems so STUPID to me to go to bed when I'm this close. WASTE, it ends up being a waste of a day, basically, because I need to sleep on a finished video before I let it go. And so even if I finish it first thing tomorrow morning, I won't be able to put it up because I'll need that night to sleep it off. And it only makes logical sense that that be tonight. Because I am so close. God. Fuck me.
→ Also, I talk to myself I lot when I do this. I just caught myself yelling, "WHAT. WHAT IS THE FUCKING ISSUE." and "Well fine, let's just ~see~ if this is even worth HAVING." And "30.1, is it? *looks* IT IS." LOL omg I didn't even realize how much I did this until I started paying attention for this entry.
→ I'm going to bed nowww. ♥ And I won't have to do it in the morning - I did fill in the holes. ♥ ♥ And when I say morning, I mean 1 or 2pm when I get up. LOL.