think how we were from the start, and now our hearts are falling, are falling apart
"Well, you can't always have everything the way you want it, Alyssa."
And then I burst into tears because there was someone with whom I could. And I did. He probably assumes that since I've only ever been with one person before him, that I wouldn't know any better. That I'd just accept this shit. That I'd think this was just the way it goes. That I wouldn't know what I was missing. Well, joke's on you, because I do. And you're going to end up losing me to it if you continue to be a nonchalant and callous asshole about all of this. Fine, think I'm crazy, that my feelings aren't legit, that I'm overreacting. But you obviously don't know what it feels like to have everything the way you both want it in this territory. If you did, you'd understand. And you'd cry for it too.
Same shit, different day.
And you know, fuck you, I do know that I can't have everything the way that I want it, okay, and honestly, I would not even CARE about this stuff if I felt like YOU cared. Like you TRIED. Like you at least felt bad and tried to make up for it in other ways. But you don't. So yeah, I'm pissed because it seems I can't have anything the way I want it, let alone the not-so-impossible impossibility of "everything". NO, THERE IS NO VALUE TO ME AT ALL IN HAVING YOU RIGHT NOW.
And it's not even just this same fucking sex fight we keep having over and over. I am just not feeling him at all right now, fuck all of it, FUCK IT. You guys! Even when they're older, they don't grow up! My god!
And then I burst into tears because there was someone with whom I could. And I did. He probably assumes that since I've only ever been with one person before him, that I wouldn't know any better. That I'd just accept this shit. That I'd think this was just the way it goes. That I wouldn't know what I was missing. Well, joke's on you, because I do. And you're going to end up losing me to it if you continue to be a nonchalant and callous asshole about all of this. Fine, think I'm crazy, that my feelings aren't legit, that I'm overreacting. But you obviously don't know what it feels like to have everything the way you both want it in this territory. If you did, you'd understand. And you'd cry for it too.
Same shit, different day.
And you know, fuck you, I do know that I can't have everything the way that I want it, okay, and honestly, I would not even CARE about this stuff if I felt like YOU cared. Like you TRIED. Like you at least felt bad and tried to make up for it in other ways. But you don't. So yeah, I'm pissed because it seems I can't have anything the way I want it, let alone the not-so-impossible impossibility of "everything". NO, THERE IS NO VALUE TO ME AT ALL IN HAVING YOU RIGHT NOW.
And it's not even just this same fucking sex fight we keep having over and over. I am just not feeling him at all right now, fuck all of it, FUCK IT. You guys! Even when they're older, they don't grow up! My god!