(no subject)
Today was hard. I got up too early for my liking and didn't even know what to do with myself. Everything is so blank now. I played a little bit of Super Nintendo and that was fucking invaluable as far as childhood nostalgia goes. I have been getting along so well with my sister, loving her as a friend and not just a family member. It's moments like these when I realize how beautiful it is to have a sister. I watched the Mamma Mia episode of 30 Rock, which I hadn't seen yet, and then I just sort of laid in bed and slept a lot. I opened up Final Cut, got one new clip on a timeline before I stopped feeling like it. So I just did nothing at all. Except drift in and out of sleep.
Randy (the DJ) texted and woke me up, he asked how his favorite dancer was doing so I told him she was good but that she hadn't gotten enough out of her system. He told me to come by on Thursday, because he's spinning and he'd love to see me again and "our kiss haunts me." I died. I fucking died. I told him I'd see what I could do about Thursday and that I hoped it was a good kind of haunt. "The best kind of haunt." LOL I almost threw a Lisa E quote at him - "I tell people that once they know me, I will haunt their daily existence." Because that's totes what I thought of. I also love my mother. I told her I'd see if any of my friends wanted to go with on Thursday, and she said if they didn't, that she'd go. I love that I can do that, that I can go out dancing with my mom and have fun and not be embarrassed. Despite all of our shit and our issues, I do have a really great immediate family and I've been realizing that a lot this week.
Mette also called, so her and I went to the lake and got ice cream. I thought of Gemma at every turn. It was reassuring in a way, being where we'd spent a lot of time. I told Mette I had sex and her face was priceless. She bothered me with dance talk, it's a sensitive issue right now, but we also laughed a lot, almost to the point of tears, and I have a lot to weigh out as far as that goes. Because the dance issue will never go away, so I have to decide if hearing about it constantly is worth all of the laughter and good moments I have with her. I feel like it is but I just don't know. I wish I didn't even have to deal with it at all.
I'm waiting for Molly to come get me so her and Andy and I can go to dinner. Being with my friends is a helpful distraction right now I think. Ugh I don't know. I kind of want to explode in general.
Randy (the DJ) texted and woke me up, he asked how his favorite dancer was doing so I told him she was good but that she hadn't gotten enough out of her system. He told me to come by on Thursday, because he's spinning and he'd love to see me again and "our kiss haunts me." I died. I fucking died. I told him I'd see what I could do about Thursday and that I hoped it was a good kind of haunt. "The best kind of haunt." LOL I almost threw a Lisa E quote at him - "I tell people that once they know me, I will haunt their daily existence." Because that's totes what I thought of. I also love my mother. I told her I'd see if any of my friends wanted to go with on Thursday, and she said if they didn't, that she'd go. I love that I can do that, that I can go out dancing with my mom and have fun and not be embarrassed. Despite all of our shit and our issues, I do have a really great immediate family and I've been realizing that a lot this week.
Mette also called, so her and I went to the lake and got ice cream. I thought of Gemma at every turn. It was reassuring in a way, being where we'd spent a lot of time. I told Mette I had sex and her face was priceless. She bothered me with dance talk, it's a sensitive issue right now, but we also laughed a lot, almost to the point of tears, and I have a lot to weigh out as far as that goes. Because the dance issue will never go away, so I have to decide if hearing about it constantly is worth all of the laughter and good moments I have with her. I feel like it is but I just don't know. I wish I didn't even have to deal with it at all.
I'm waiting for Molly to come get me so her and Andy and I can go to dinner. Being with my friends is a helpful distraction right now I think. Ugh I don't know. I kind of want to explode in general.