"i know guys that WISH they looked like that down there"
Iiiii am at work. I wasn't going to work today, I said no, but then my mom texted me yesterday and was like "PLEASE WORK, BOB ASKED AGAIN IF YOU WERE WORKING AND WE NEED YOU" so I am working. I was pissed for the first part of the day - I had to enter stuff into the computer and I did it rather quickly. My mom said she'd be back with something for me to do, but she took for fucking ever so I started checking LJ. And she got all pissed, "DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE." Well fuck you it's not like I'm neglecting my work to go on the internet. I DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO. I'm not going to sit and stare into space either, fuck it.
But then I got to do mail and mail is my favorite. AND YOU GUYS. BEST SURPRISE OF MY FUCKING LIFE, OKAY. I remembered that I had a Lisa E Loveline interview that I've never listened to before. So I was sending letters through the post machine, listening to all of this new amazingness, and okay. Rule of the day: Don't listen to new Lisa things at work. Because you WILL look like an ass. LOL OKAY, SO THIS LADY CALLS INTO LOVELINE AND IS TALKING ABOUT HOW WHEN SHE ORGASMS, SHE SQUIRTS. And she was like, "I saw this film, Squirters 2, and blah blah blah." So I'm already like, wanting to laugh my ass off and so is Lisa. So they discuss her question or whatever, and she's like, "Okay, so I DO squirt then? I mean, it's not like in that movie I saw but..." SO THEY GET BACK ON THE TOPIC OF THE MOVIE, AND LISA IS LIKE, "How do they even CAST for that? Like is there an open casting call? 'Squirters this way'?" AND SHE WAS SO SERIOUS, AND I LAUGHED SO HARD YOU GUYS THAT I SORT OF FELL ON THE FLOOR. LITERALLY. I really hope no one saw that because, what the fuck, she's alone in the mail room. What's so fucking funny, right? Ohhh my god. I have to do a recap of that whole thing, she talks about how she's seen a penis that's as big as the top of her pinky - "I mean, you can't even have sex with that. But you can get pregnant. Because it gets in the ~area~." I don't even remember but it was hilarious. And she is just so smart. Flist, we will be talking about this later.
So I'm here for about two more hours and then I got conned into going to dinner with my mom and her boyfriend. Who (whom?) I have never met. BUT BUT! He asked my mom what Seinfeld DVDs I wanted and she was like, "Thank you for remembering!" So that was cute, I guess. Way to gain major points with the kid, I must say..
But then I got to do mail and mail is my favorite. AND YOU GUYS. BEST SURPRISE OF MY FUCKING LIFE, OKAY. I remembered that I had a Lisa E Loveline interview that I've never listened to before. So I was sending letters through the post machine, listening to all of this new amazingness, and okay. Rule of the day: Don't listen to new Lisa things at work. Because you WILL look like an ass. LOL OKAY, SO THIS LADY CALLS INTO LOVELINE AND IS TALKING ABOUT HOW WHEN SHE ORGASMS, SHE SQUIRTS. And she was like, "I saw this film, Squirters 2, and blah blah blah." So I'm already like, wanting to laugh my ass off and so is Lisa. So they discuss her question or whatever, and she's like, "Okay, so I DO squirt then? I mean, it's not like in that movie I saw but..." SO THEY GET BACK ON THE TOPIC OF THE MOVIE, AND LISA IS LIKE, "How do they even CAST for that? Like is there an open casting call? 'Squirters this way'?" AND SHE WAS SO SERIOUS, AND I LAUGHED SO HARD YOU GUYS THAT I SORT OF FELL ON THE FLOOR. LITERALLY. I really hope no one saw that because, what the fuck, she's alone in the mail room. What's so fucking funny, right? Ohhh my god. I have to do a recap of that whole thing, she talks about how she's seen a penis that's as big as the top of her pinky - "I mean, you can't even have sex with that. But you can get pregnant. Because it gets in the ~area~." I don't even remember but it was hilarious. And she is just so smart. Flist, we will be talking about this later.
So I'm here for about two more hours and then I got conned into going to dinner with my mom and her boyfriend. Who (whom?) I have never met. BUT BUT! He asked my mom what Seinfeld DVDs I wanted and she was like, "Thank you for remembering!" So that was cute, I guess. Way to gain major points with the kid, I must say..