she's a killer queen, guaranteed to blow your mind
So, we went out for pizza, where I concluded that my pizza probably had alcohol in it. Not even joking. It tasted terrible and it's a pretty idk-the-word place in terms of pizza. It's not cheap or anything and it's made for you and baked in a kiln that you can see. BUT I HATED IT. Never really been impressed with the place, Punch Pizza if you guys have those, but tonight it was terrible.
Then we went to the mall, where I concluded that I can't shop like a normal person anymore because all I see is fandom. HUGE ASS JKRAS GAP AD IN THE WINDOW. I DIED. BUT I DID NOT HAVE MY CAMERA, I DON'T EVEN BELIEVE I DIDN'T HAVE IT. Then, we went to Victoria's Secret, where my mother found this set of underwear that she wanted. But she was bitching because it had those nylon/stocking clips hanging off the bottom, those fucking sexy things, and she "just wanted normal underwear, do you think I could cut these things off?" And I said, "I don't know, but you know who has this underwear, I just decided?" And we both said "Cuddy." And then I went batshit crazy in the store thinking about what kind of amazing sexy shit she has. AND LOL they had the things for you to clip on, and on the package was a set of amazing legs and black heels. "Do me pumps," my mother corrected me. I was freaking out. She was like, "I LOVE SHOPPING WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU COMPLETELY TRIP OUT AT LIKE, EVERYTHING." And oh my god you guys, they had this bra there, and it was like MADE OF RHINESTONES (lol at the BLATANT photoshopped sparkle).IT WAS A HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS BUT I WANTED IT SO BAD AND I TRIED IT ON AND DIED HXC. And me and the two sales ladies were like, fangirling over this fucking BRA, okay, and one of them is like, "I want it so bad but who's gonna pay for a $100 bra, right." And I was like, "The guy who wants to see me in it." And she was like, "Yeah, a guy would be the one who buys it probably." AND THEY HAVE ALL THESE CUTE PINK SANTA OUTFITS AND DSLFJHAS I DONT EVEN HAVE A BOYFRIEND BUT I SO WOULD HAVE BOUGHT THEM IF I WASN'T BROKE.
OH! and since this is apparantly "bra entry", I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU STH I LEARNED TODAY. Every bra has a "sister size". I was freaking out because they didnt have a 34B in the rhinestone bra, so she said that I am ALSO a 32C. You can either go up a letter and down a measurement, or down a letter and up a measurement. I THINK she said it works both ways, I don't remember. SO! point is: if they ever don't have your real size, you can do that instead and it should work! Sorry, Matt, for the girl talk here.
BUT ANYWAY. My point was, Cuddy has these. Maybe not this exact one, but she has those clippy things. And she wears them under her skirts, in the event of random clinic-room sexings.
We also went to Target and OH LOL BEFORE THAT. MY SISTER ALMOST KILLED SOME KID. Her and my mom were fighting over sweatshirts at Hollister and my sister went to storm off like a drama queen and this guy went "WHOA!!" AND GRABBED HIS POOR DAUGHTER AND MY SISTER WAS LIKE AN INCH AWAY FROM HITTING THEM BOTH. So apologized and everything and my mom left the store. "What an embarrassment." And then I stayed in with my sister because apparantly it's "be a good sister day". So I went up to her and I was like, "LOL YOU ALMOST JUST KILLED A KID, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT." TOTALLY like, laughing it off. And she goes, "I FUCKING KNOW OKAY?! JUST... UGH!!" and put her hand in my face. And I was like, "WHAT AN EMBARRASSMENT." and left her there. Whateverrr. And then my mom and I were looking at the posters they hang there and I was like, "LOL OH MY GOD DO YOU BELIEVE I STOLE ONE OF THESE ONCE." *I* don't even believe I stole one of those once. Remind me to take a picture next time I go so I can show you what an amazing acrobatic feat it was. BUT THEN, I WAS LIKE, "OH MY GOD MOM CAN YOU IMAGINE IF THEY GET THE XF2 POSTERS HERE?!?!" You guys. I DIED just thinking of stealing one. Seriously. The one I stole is literally 8 feet tall and made of canvas. CAN YOU IMAGINE.
Then we went to a few other random stores while my sister TRIED to buy jeans and FAILED. I don't think you know how much I hate shopping with my sister. I GOT A CUTE HEART NECKLACE AT EXPRESS, THOUGH. But then we got in a huge fight in the car because my sister was crying and my mom asked why so my sister basically said that nothing in her life is going right and my mom FREAKED OUT AT HER. IT WAS SO MEAN. So I jumped in. I mean, she fucking ASKED. And when my sister told her that, she started not only attacking her, but victimizing herself in the process. And whenever it'd finally stop, my mom would bring it up again. So I was screaming at her, "YOU WANT TO MAKE HER COMPLAIN JUST SO YOU HAVE AN EXCUSE TO BITCH ABOUT SOMETHING." It's disgusting the way she operates. And then she got all mad at me because I was completely pwning her with my quick thinking and words of steel, so she was all, "IS THIS YOUR BUSINESS?" Yes. Because she is my sister. And not only that, but I'm in the car too and I have to listen to it. And it's not just the one incident - my mom does this SAME THING to me. So yeah, it's my business. Once we were both in tears and significantly pissed off, my mom started being *gasp* nice and dropping "honey" in sentences to us and everything else. I swear to god this bitch can only be happy once she's pissed off the entire universe. See? Disgusting.
But the point is that Cuddy has sexy underwear. The end.
Also. I wonder how many hours of my life have been spent writing about it. I just checked and it took me 40 minutes to write this. And this is only one of the 1500 entries I have in here, and it's also not the longest one. I just wonder. YOU KNOW WHAT. I'M GOING TO KEEP TRACK, I THINK. I'm putting them at the end of entries in parentheses. (42)
Then we went to the mall, where I concluded that I can't shop like a normal person anymore because all I see is fandom. HUGE ASS JKRAS GAP AD IN THE WINDOW. I DIED. BUT I DID NOT HAVE MY CAMERA, I DON'T EVEN BELIEVE I DIDN'T HAVE IT. Then, we went to Victoria's Secret, where my mother found this set of underwear that she wanted. But she was bitching because it had those nylon/stocking clips hanging off the bottom, those fucking sexy things, and she "just wanted normal underwear, do you think I could cut these things off?" And I said, "I don't know, but you know who has this underwear, I just decided?" And we both said "Cuddy." And then I went batshit crazy in the store thinking about what kind of amazing sexy shit she has. AND LOL they had the things for you to clip on, and on the package was a set of amazing legs and black heels. "Do me pumps," my mother corrected me. I was freaking out. She was like, "I LOVE SHOPPING WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU COMPLETELY TRIP OUT AT LIKE, EVERYTHING." And oh my god you guys, they had this bra there, and it was like MADE OF RHINESTONES (lol at the BLATANT photoshopped sparkle).IT WAS A HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS BUT I WANTED IT SO BAD AND I TRIED IT ON AND DIED HXC. And me and the two sales ladies were like, fangirling over this fucking BRA, okay, and one of them is like, "I want it so bad but who's gonna pay for a $100 bra, right." And I was like, "The guy who wants to see me in it." And she was like, "Yeah, a guy would be the one who buys it probably." AND THEY HAVE ALL THESE CUTE PINK SANTA OUTFITS AND DSLFJHAS I DONT EVEN HAVE A BOYFRIEND BUT I SO WOULD HAVE BOUGHT THEM IF I WASN'T BROKE.
OH! and since this is apparantly "bra entry", I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU STH I LEARNED TODAY. Every bra has a "sister size". I was freaking out because they didnt have a 34B in the rhinestone bra, so she said that I am ALSO a 32C. You can either go up a letter and down a measurement, or down a letter and up a measurement. I THINK she said it works both ways, I don't remember. SO! point is: if they ever don't have your real size, you can do that instead and it should work! Sorry, Matt, for the girl talk here.
BUT ANYWAY. My point was, Cuddy has these. Maybe not this exact one, but she has those clippy things. And she wears them under her skirts, in the event of random clinic-room sexings.
We also went to Target and OH LOL BEFORE THAT. MY SISTER ALMOST KILLED SOME KID. Her and my mom were fighting over sweatshirts at Hollister and my sister went to storm off like a drama queen and this guy went "WHOA!!" AND GRABBED HIS POOR DAUGHTER AND MY SISTER WAS LIKE AN INCH AWAY FROM HITTING THEM BOTH. So apologized and everything and my mom left the store. "What an embarrassment." And then I stayed in with my sister because apparantly it's "be a good sister day". So I went up to her and I was like, "LOL YOU ALMOST JUST KILLED A KID, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT." TOTALLY like, laughing it off. And she goes, "I FUCKING KNOW OKAY?! JUST... UGH!!" and put her hand in my face. And I was like, "WHAT AN EMBARRASSMENT." and left her there. Whateverrr. And then my mom and I were looking at the posters they hang there and I was like, "LOL OH MY GOD DO YOU BELIEVE I STOLE ONE OF THESE ONCE." *I* don't even believe I stole one of those once. Remind me to take a picture next time I go so I can show you what an amazing acrobatic feat it was. BUT THEN, I WAS LIKE, "OH MY GOD MOM CAN YOU IMAGINE IF THEY GET THE XF2 POSTERS HERE?!?!" You guys. I DIED just thinking of stealing one. Seriously. The one I stole is literally 8 feet tall and made of canvas. CAN YOU IMAGINE.
Then we went to a few other random stores while my sister TRIED to buy jeans and FAILED. I don't think you know how much I hate shopping with my sister. I GOT A CUTE HEART NECKLACE AT EXPRESS, THOUGH. But then we got in a huge fight in the car because my sister was crying and my mom asked why so my sister basically said that nothing in her life is going right and my mom FREAKED OUT AT HER. IT WAS SO MEAN. So I jumped in. I mean, she fucking ASKED. And when my sister told her that, she started not only attacking her, but victimizing herself in the process. And whenever it'd finally stop, my mom would bring it up again. So I was screaming at her, "YOU WANT TO MAKE HER COMPLAIN JUST SO YOU HAVE AN EXCUSE TO BITCH ABOUT SOMETHING." It's disgusting the way she operates. And then she got all mad at me because I was completely pwning her with my quick thinking and words of steel, so she was all, "IS THIS YOUR BUSINESS?" Yes. Because she is my sister. And not only that, but I'm in the car too and I have to listen to it. And it's not just the one incident - my mom does this SAME THING to me. So yeah, it's my business. Once we were both in tears and significantly pissed off, my mom started being *gasp* nice and dropping "honey" in sentences to us and everything else. I swear to god this bitch can only be happy once she's pissed off the entire universe. See? Disgusting.
But the point is that Cuddy has sexy underwear. The end.
Also. I wonder how many hours of my life have been spent writing about it. I just checked and it took me 40 minutes to write this. And this is only one of the 1500 entries I have in here, and it's also not the longest one. I just wonder. YOU KNOW WHAT. I'M GOING TO KEEP TRACK, I THINK. I'm putting them at the end of entries in parentheses. (42)