the night folded over and swallowed the stars
I was basically a shitshow on Friday. A bunch of my friends from grade school have been getting together lately, they had two karaoke/party nights that I had to miss and Friday I was finally able to make it. And can I just say how fucking cool it is that I knew these people when I was like, 12 and we can still have an amazing time together? I feel like I fit in more with them than I do my high school friends. I'll write about it more in detail later because my ex Derek was there and we ended up at his house after the bar. And his mom was there, and still awake, and IDK if you guys remember how I felt about her but she's an artist and she's amazing and I can't even. She's what I want to be but she's already there. I CAN'T EVEN GO INTO IT BEYOND THAT WITHOUT THE NOVEL. I have not seen her since we broke up even though I look at her art in my room every day. So god, hello, much to say on that front. ALSO I decided to try and walk home - which was fucking stupid, full of hysterics, but quite comical in retrospect. IT'S A STORY.
We added each other on Facebook after this, which I've always wanted to do but have been too chickenshit. Also I don't know the rules on being friends with an ex's mom. BUT BASICALLY, I checked her blog and saw that she's doing a fucking art workshop in Guatemala in March and I want to go so fucking bad. I really, really hope she's cool with me after I broke up with her son, I don't know how any of this shit works but I assume I'd be fine with it (especially if my son's ex was someone I had a lot in common with in our own right) so I'm hoping she would be too since we're a lot alike. ANYWAY. I just emailed her asking for more information/details. I was kind of scared to but I watched The Walking Dead and "(What was I thinking?) I was thinking, I might be dead tomorrow" is my new motto probably. Oh my god it would absolutely be something I'd break the bank for. Nevermind the fact that it's her and I love her art style, but it's in fucking Guatemala, and I have a camera now and DID I MENTION THAT SHE'D BE TEACHING ART. She was my first art teacher, you guys, when I was 5 years old. God. Need to go. Please, Universe, do me a solid - I need this.
★ ★ ★
In other news, my grandma had a date on Tuesday. OMG OMG OMG SLDJFHASKJDFHAKLJSHFAHJLSFAS SHE MET HIM ON THE INTERNET YOU GUYS. So I went to her house because she and I were going to go to Greg's (my mom's bf) bar for bingo. I knew she had a date so I asked right away how it went because I could fucking TELL she was all giddy you guys, I DIED. She was like, "I have to put a couple of curls in my hair and then I'll tell you." BUILDING ANTICIPATION ON PURPOSE OMG DYING. SKDJLFHA. She came into the living room after her hair and HE KISSED HER YOU GUYS LKSDJHFJKLHAS FUCKING A FUCKING A FUCKING A I FLAILED SO HARD, SHE THOUGHT IT WAS HILARIOUS BUT I WAS SERIOUS.
They went to lunch and then they didn't know what to do so they walked around the mall and HAD SMOOTHIES, SHUT UP, and then he was like, "Give me your hand :)" AND THEY HELD HANDS AND THAT WAS HER FAVORITE AND THEN HE KISSED HER AT HER CAR AND WAS LIKE, "Let's keep in touch, hey? Do you want to?" OMGGGGG. AND HE HAD KHAKI PANTS ON AND A RED SWEATER. She was so flustered, she couldn't find her car keys and then we got in the car finally, got halfway to the bar and she forgot her purse!
Grandma: Do you know how long it's been since I've gotten a kiss?!
Me: What about that one guy though?
Grandma: What guy?
Me: You know, the one that kissed you and had his hands all over you and like, didn't want to leave.
Grandma: OH. THAT DOESN'T COUNT, THAT WASN'T A KISS THAT WAS RAPE.
lol omg her response was so immediate, fierce, and serious. I could have fucking died. But yes omg she said there were "a couple of things that bugged her about him" but that she will definitely see him again. She was disappointed that she didn't feel that gut-wrenching spark and I was like, "I never had that with Jason." She was all surprised. "In fact the only men I've had that with have turned out to be assholes. Randy, Nick..." She was like, "Oh my god you're totally right." lol.
★ ★ ★
I woke up on Tuesday morning with a fucking HUGE CYST-LIKE BUMP ON MY INNER THIGH THAT SEEMED TO HAVE GROWN OVERNIGHT. I went in for it once before when it was much smaller, the doctor said it was just irritation from boy-short underwear and thick jeans and that it was no big deal. Except this time, it was at least 5x bigger and I hadn't even worn jeans that day. I went to the doctor and was so fucking scared but oh my god you guys, I stepped in and who would be playing on the overhead radio? Paula Abdul. And it calmed me. Moments like that, fuck, no coincidences.
I got antibiotics and she basically told me it was just something I had to deal with. I could get it cut open and possibly removed but it's a difficult area because of all the lymph nodes so if it's tolerable, it'd be safest to just manage it. I don't know if I can? She's like, "But if it gets to a point where it flares up once a month--" I interrupted, "--it does, though." IDK. But basically because of the infection and my medicine, I've been sleeping like 10-12 hour nights. During the day, because I've COMPLETELY reverted back to my nocturnal state. Hence the absence. I JUST HAS NO ENERGY THIS WEEK. :(
We added each other on Facebook after this, which I've always wanted to do but have been too chickenshit. Also I don't know the rules on being friends with an ex's mom. BUT BASICALLY, I checked her blog and saw that she's doing a fucking art workshop in Guatemala in March and I want to go so fucking bad. I really, really hope she's cool with me after I broke up with her son, I don't know how any of this shit works but I assume I'd be fine with it (especially if my son's ex was someone I had a lot in common with in our own right) so I'm hoping she would be too since we're a lot alike. ANYWAY. I just emailed her asking for more information/details. I was kind of scared to but I watched The Walking Dead and "(What was I thinking?) I was thinking, I might be dead tomorrow" is my new motto probably. Oh my god it would absolutely be something I'd break the bank for. Nevermind the fact that it's her and I love her art style, but it's in fucking Guatemala, and I have a camera now and DID I MENTION THAT SHE'D BE TEACHING ART. She was my first art teacher, you guys, when I was 5 years old. God. Need to go. Please, Universe, do me a solid - I need this.
★ ★ ★
In other news, my grandma had a date on Tuesday. OMG OMG OMG SLDJFHASKJDFHAKLJSHFAHJLSFAS SHE MET HIM ON THE INTERNET YOU GUYS. So I went to her house because she and I were going to go to Greg's (my mom's bf) bar for bingo. I knew she had a date so I asked right away how it went because I could fucking TELL she was all giddy you guys, I DIED. She was like, "I have to put a couple of curls in my hair and then I'll tell you." BUILDING ANTICIPATION ON PURPOSE OMG DYING. SKDJLFHA. She came into the living room after her hair and HE KISSED HER YOU GUYS LKSDJHFJKLHAS FUCKING A FUCKING A FUCKING A I FLAILED SO HARD, SHE THOUGHT IT WAS HILARIOUS BUT I WAS SERIOUS.
They went to lunch and then they didn't know what to do so they walked around the mall and HAD SMOOTHIES, SHUT UP, and then he was like, "Give me your hand :)" AND THEY HELD HANDS AND THAT WAS HER FAVORITE AND THEN HE KISSED HER AT HER CAR AND WAS LIKE, "Let's keep in touch, hey? Do you want to?" OMGGGGG. AND HE HAD KHAKI PANTS ON AND A RED SWEATER. She was so flustered, she couldn't find her car keys and then we got in the car finally, got halfway to the bar and she forgot her purse!
Grandma: Do you know how long it's been since I've gotten a kiss?!
Me: What about that one guy though?
Grandma: What guy?
Me: You know, the one that kissed you and had his hands all over you and like, didn't want to leave.
Grandma: OH. THAT DOESN'T COUNT, THAT WASN'T A KISS THAT WAS RAPE.
lol omg her response was so immediate, fierce, and serious. I could have fucking died. But yes omg she said there were "a couple of things that bugged her about him" but that she will definitely see him again. She was disappointed that she didn't feel that gut-wrenching spark and I was like, "I never had that with Jason." She was all surprised. "In fact the only men I've had that with have turned out to be assholes. Randy, Nick..." She was like, "Oh my god you're totally right." lol.
★ ★ ★
I woke up on Tuesday morning with a fucking HUGE CYST-LIKE BUMP ON MY INNER THIGH THAT SEEMED TO HAVE GROWN OVERNIGHT. I went in for it once before when it was much smaller, the doctor said it was just irritation from boy-short underwear and thick jeans and that it was no big deal. Except this time, it was at least 5x bigger and I hadn't even worn jeans that day. I went to the doctor and was so fucking scared but oh my god you guys, I stepped in and who would be playing on the overhead radio? Paula Abdul. And it calmed me. Moments like that, fuck, no coincidences.
I got antibiotics and she basically told me it was just something I had to deal with. I could get it cut open and possibly removed but it's a difficult area because of all the lymph nodes so if it's tolerable, it'd be safest to just manage it. I don't know if I can? She's like, "But if it gets to a point where it flares up once a month--" I interrupted, "--it does, though." IDK. But basically because of the infection and my medicine, I've been sleeping like 10-12 hour nights. During the day, because I've COMPLETELY reverted back to my nocturnal state. Hence the absence. I JUST HAS NO ENERGY THIS WEEK. :(