Ellen's Funeral
I was feeling pretty brave when we walked up to the chapel at the cemetary for Ellen's funeral. I didn't think I was going to cry. I cried all week and it was very exhausting. But then Kane came up to me and said hello and "I heard you were there with Mum when she died" ... and suddenly, I wasn't as tough as I thought I was. Tears flowed and Kane hugged me.
The service was lovely. Christian, Kane and Kane's 9 year old daughter Rebekah all spoke about Ellen. They spoke with such fondness, it was such a beautiful moment. They struggled to hold back tears and paused to do so when they needed.
Ellen was an amazing lady. The youngest of 10 children and times were tough when she was growing up. In her younger years, she was the life of the party, apparently. She was a single mother of two kids who were her world. She instilled in them the values that family came first and treat people with respect and be loyal ... and if you knew Christian and Kane, you'd know that she did a fabulous job of raising her two boys to be all of those things.
I knew Ellen through my Mum. They met at bingo of all places. Ellen was a great friend to my Mum. They were always there for each other, even after Mum moved back to Melbourne. I remember meeting Ellen as a teenager and being a bit scared of her. She seemed strict and like a very hard woman. She was strict with discipline and when it came to matters of being respectful and doing what is right but other than that, she was soft and gooey on the inside.
Ellen has always said to my Mum that she did a great job of raising my brother and I. She thought that we were lovely and polite (which we totally are!) and told Mum that she could see that she had the same values as she did. Mark and I weren't subject to a lot of discipline, but I never pushed the boundaries as a kid. Mark did ... and while I think Mum was a bit soft on him about it, I certainly wasn't and Mark listens to me over everyone anyway - so he got through his teenage years in fear of my wrath haha.
The first wake was at the Uni in a function area of the bar. It was nice and simple. I spent a lot of time talking to Kane's wife Yvette. We were then invited to the second wake (for close friends only) at Christian's house. Mark dropped in for an hour, I stayed for about 4 hours. It was nice to just sit there and hang out. Christian and I talked about that night and there were many tears but I finally feel better about it, like I don't have to keep replaying it in my head. Alice and I talked about it too, which was really helpful for her because there were things she wasn't sure of remembering and I knew the whole thing off by heart.
So it's just Christian and Alice in the house now. I'll post about them another time - their story makes me smile.