Some Thoughts on Elven Sanitation

[lissas_elves]

It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to wonder about it ... This subject is not for the squeamish!

Thank you to Cal for betaing.

‘On Elven Sanitation’ or ‘The Joys of Indoor Plumbing’
Introduction:

I’m sure The Last Homely House had running water, indoor WC and bathrooms - these clever Noldor did so like to invent things - but how do you

Comments

[cairistiona7]

I have to say I belong to the class of reader that, if such technicalities get in the way of good storytelling, I can cheerfully ignore the oversight if they're left out. And as a writer, I usually take the stand that such details don't usually move the story along and so I don't usually, er, mess with it. That said, details of ordinary life can enrich the story, so sometimes I do make a brief mention of a Ranger slipping into the bushes to do his morning business, etc. I rarely write female characters and would never consider using a female as a warrior because I don't want to deal with the whole "I can't fight; I have cramps" business! And just the idea of a 10th Walker makes me shudder, so I don't even read those stories, let alone write them.

I have, however, sometimes wondered about the details of how the more base things in life are handled. I do like the idea of the composting toilet, but they'd still have to have some sort of chamber pot at the very least for those middle of the night urges. Then they could carry it down in the morning and empty it into the composting toilet.

Hmm, have to say I never thought, when I got up this morning, that the waste habits of elves would be a topic of the day's conversations. LOL Interesting, though.

[lissas_elves]

Hmm, have to say I never thought, when I got up this morning, that the waste habits of elves would be a topic of the day's conversations. LOL Interesting, though.

Just imagine, I provided you with a topic to completely spoil your co-workers' appetite during lunch break today! *beams and ish very proud of self*

As to the details of everyday life, of course you're right in that we don't want to hear about them, really. But it's nice to get at least a hint that it's a real world and real people; and I really like to have a clear idea of how my version of this world functions, although I probably won't use it in my stories - at least not very much ... ;-)

[cairistiona7]

Just imagine, I provided you with a topic to completely spoil your co-workers' appetite during lunch break today! *beams and ish very proud of self*

Hee hee! Fortunately, my only co-worker is Domino ... and he isn't troubled in the least.

[lissas_elves]

Oh - well, you're probably right that Domino won't mind, considering what dogs like to sniff at ... and roll themselves in!

Had to give Peebody a thorough wash a while ago; all I can say is 'Eeeeewwwww!'

[cairistiona7]

Yes, dogs do tend to have a vastly different view of such things as we do, don't they?? What they roll in, sniff at ... and even eat!! *shudder*

[lissas_elves]

Yes, dogs do tend to have a vastly different view of such things as we do, don't they?? What they roll in, sniff at ... and even eat!! *shudder*

Whoa!! Let's not even think about what dogs will eat! Eeewww!

It's surprising, really; their senses are much better than ours so why don't they find these things disgusting? Is it a thing we learn while young, a cultural thing rather than biological? But I read somewhere that the bad smell of excrements was meant to deter us from eating stuff that wasn't good for us. Makes sense, I think.

Why don't dogs get sick, I wonder?

[cairistiona7]

I can't imagine what it is, other than their liver and kidneys must be a lot more powerful than ours, to deal with the toxins they take in. Remnants from when all dogs were wild predators, eating whatever was at hand, and not fed the sanitized, scientifically balance foods they get today, perhaps?

[lissas_elves]

Yes, that's probably it. Their digestion is amazing; when I think of the stuff Peebody's eaten ...

[vamp_ress]

Well, I don't mind if an author ignores the composting-toilet for elves (or whatever they might have used *g*), but I do tend to give an eyeroll to stories where our heroes spend every evening taking a hot bath. I imagined that to be quite a (logistical) feat, especially when you're in a human settlement. (On the other hand, they didn't have cable, so that leaves them with a lot of sudden freetime in which to heat water and carry buckets *shrugs*.)

[lissas_elves]

lol - I quite agree with you about the unlikeliness of them bathing all the time. It just wasn't doable! Anyway, going without a bath for a week or two won't kill anybody. However, to me it seems likely that Elves, who appreciated beauty so much and had superior senses, thought more about their appearance than Men.

***

Hmm, I don't remember what started the whole idea of elven toilet habits ... but the above post certainly wasn't meant to be taken very seriously. ;-)

[cairistiona7]

Ah but it's so much more fun to take it seriously! LOL

[lissas_elves]

hehe - well, when I'd written the first part (with all the questions) I had no intentions of writing more, it was just for fun, but with all the great suggestions my friends made - several of them absolutely hilarious! - I just had to finish it.

[cairistiona7]

but I do tend to give an eyeroll to stories where our heroes spend every evening taking a hot bath.

Yes, that would leave our scruffy, sweaty Ranger far too clean! LOL

[lissas_elves]

Ooooh yes. We likes him just the way he smells, prescioussss *g*

[cairistiona7]

ROTFL!!!!! hee hee! I needed that laugh ... I'm in the middle of wrestling with the Tale of Years. It's wreaking havoc on the epilogue to my almost-finished story. So far more interesting to dwell instead on sweaty Rangers. *grin

[lissas_elves]

Sweaty rangers should definitely not be ignored! ;-)

But I wish you the best of luck with completing the recalcitrant story.