Some Thoughts on Elven Sanitation
It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to wonder about it ... This subject is not for the squeamish!
Thank you to Cal for betaing.
‘On Elven Sanitation’ or ‘The Joys of Indoor Plumbing’
Introduction:
I’m sure The Last Homely House had running water, indoor WC and bathrooms - these clever Noldor did so like to invent things - but how do you ( Read more... )
I like your idea. It seems very logical and likely.
Yes, I did consider this, XD, and was thinking of those outhouses where they dug a pit and situated the toilet over it. In the old days they used ashes apparently to cover the waste. When the time was right - or ripe - the little building was removed and the pit filled in ( rather the way my uncle used to move the chicken-coop every so often, although I cannot remember why, exactly, as it was not an outhouse, as such, but he did. )
An unfortunate incident experienced by Jael's father taught us that one should pee from high places only with the utmost caution and that, in particular, updrafts must be taken into consideration.
Hahahaha! Oh dear! XD
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Exactly! I do the same - lol. Although I have no plans of actually using this, it's just the sort of thing I'd like to know.
And the part that finds it very hard to accommodate female tenth walkers or other arse-kicking well traveled heroines because of that time of the moon
We covered this subject in the GoI discussion, too, and agreed that elves wouldn't have to worry, since they got pregnant only if they wished to, so, consequently, they wouldn't have to dispose of an egg a month. ;-)
As to Jael's father: yep, most unfortunate incident. But quite funny if you don't happen to be the one who experienced it. ;-)
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Tenth walkers are usually Mortals, which was what I was thinking of. I agree with females Elves the problem would not arise.
Exactly! I do the same - lol. Although I have no plans of actually using this, it's just the sort of thing I'd like to know.
Of course, with IBS, it does tend to be on my mind. XD
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Oh yes of course. They would certainly have some problems. You know, somehow non-menstruating women with perfect hair after weeks in the wildernes seem far more unreal than elves...
Of course, with IBS, it does tend to be on my mind. XD
Well, yes, I suppose so. The 50 m away potty house would be very inconvenient to us mortals, I'm afraid. :-(
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Traveling, my characters will bathe in rivers or streams and use water mint to rub on themselves if it's available, and I wrote of snow-melt being heated for Gil-galad in a winter siege in the wars in Eregion. Yes, my characters tend to wash a lot, lol, since they won't get chills in the winter or care about a mass of wet hair giving them hypothermia. ( Not in your average temperate-zone winter anyway )
Van washes a lot since he feels soiled from the inside out, so it's a psychological thing as much as a cleansing. He also has this thing about building sewer systems..
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Speaking of mortal men, weren't there some tribes - mongols or something - that didn't wash at all? Sounds awful! Then on the other hand, it's hard to imagine that Mother Nature intended for us to take a shower every morning; for the first people around these parts of the world, it would probably have meant death: they came during one of the ice ages.
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ROFL! Yes indeed, and one wonders why Elves seemed Elusive. Well, sorry guys, they could smell you three leagues away!
I thought Inuits didn't take many baths, I mean...that climate, ( freezes thinking about it ) but still...
I was watching a program once about the first Portuguese to begin trade with India and how the Indians bathed each day in huge pools, and thought the Portuguese were incredibly dirty. I can't imagine Elves with a BO problem, personally, and there's no excuse for them not to wash, as they're highly resistant to extremes of temperature, so skinny dipping in a cold lake in winter would not be a big deal, I'm sure. Feeling clean is gorgeous, so I'm sure they liked to.
( Yes, the Helcaraxë caused them to suffer, but that was seriously sub-zero, I would think, and even then, a lot made it, so they were tough cookies.)
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Yes, and I believe the Japanese also felt like that about us Westerners. For many, many years, it seems that Europeans considered bathing dangerous. All in all, I think I prefer this day and age.
The concept of smelly elves is just ... unimaginable. A contradiction in terms (or whatever it's called).
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I don't care if people want to have long arguments on Elves smelling, and whether their dried sweat smells as bad as a man, mine don't sweat easily and don't smell as they wash anywhere, in any weather. Actually sweat does not smell unless it's stale, but I would like to think Elves smell nice even if unwashed - which with mine would not be that often.
In cold climates, I can see why people were not over-eager to strip down and bathe, but the Romans did, even when they were in Britain, and had underfloor heating, so obviously they did not change just because of the climate they lived in. And not having indoor running water is no excuse, my great grandfather was a miner, and that was filthy work, and his wife filled a tub in front of the fire every night for him to bathe in, as he wouldn't be dirty in the house. It meant her a lot of water, and getting it from the yard pump, but she did it, as she wanted him to be clean too. It was one of my nans first memories, of her mother telling the children to leave the room as their father was having his bath. So even without all the amenities we have now, there's no real excuse for dirty.
My Elves essential oils too, lol.
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Aha! I learned a new word. :-)
Elves were rather advanced (biologically speaking) compared to Men, so why couldn't their bacteria - the ones that make sweat smell bad, don't know what they're called - be 'better behaved' than ours, too? Improved symbiosis. Then perhaps they would smell good, even unwashed.
I have vague recollections of bathing in the kitchen in a zink tub (the ones you see with flowers in nowadays), perhaps it was during a visit to my grandparents? Must have been very young to fit in it - lol. After all, bathrooms are relatively new installations in the homes of ordinary people. 50-100 years ago, people generally didn't bathe as much as we do today. They were, perhaps, more accepting of natural smells.
However, I can certainly understand that your great-grandfather would wish to wash off the coal dust, despite all the work with fetching and heating water!
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